Not gnome at this address

Just had this come in:

"please advise on delivery times for sky gnome as i was advised i would receive it within 2 days but after nearly 2 weeks have still not received mine. thank you"

I'm less surprised at queries like this than the ones that ask us what to do with broken cooker knobs and the like, given our extensive coverage of all things satellite.

However, we don't sell gnomes, Sky related or otherwise.