I really like Bruce Forsyth. He’s a fabulous multi-talented entertainer who has had hit after hit on television for as far back as I can remember and beyond. His autobiography is a cracking read.

That’s why I find it difficult to watch the king of Saturday night telly stumbling over links and trotting out lame one-liners on Strictly Come Dancing. He’s so much better than that.

Part of the problem is that the format of the show doesn’t suit Brucie’s talents. At his height, Bruce would get the laughs by a combination of mock frustration at the contestant’s shortcomings married with a cracking line in self-depreciating humour. Here the judges are tasked with coming up with the barbs so poor Bruce is left with nothing to do but be Mr. Nice Guy to the celeb contestants.

He’s knocking on a bit now and it must be a strain to try and hold together such a complex live show as shown when our hero lost his temper during an apparent sound problem.

In my view the BBC should award Bruce with a Christmas variety special to remind us just what a great performer he is.

As far as the actual dancing goes, I have had e-mails concerning my harsh treatment of Fiona Phillips from her army of fans.

Both of them.

Colin Jackson finished his routine with a leap that wouldn’t have out of place in an episode of Fame but seemed really out of place in a ballroom competition. Former ladette Zoë Ball scrubs up well when plonked into a posh frock and she can dance a bit as well while Darren Twinkletoes Gough continues to astound with his mastery of the dance floor.

I really feel sorry for the injured Bill Studmuffin Turnbull though who once again finished his routine looking as if he needed an oxygen tent. Holby’s Jaye Jacobs has a right to feel robbed having lost out to unfortunate performances from Dennis Taylor and of course, the “lovely??? Fiona.

Smashing
You can’t beat a bit of a bully. Ant and Dec had a major advantage over original host Jim Bowen, the lively studio audience. In poor Jim’s day, he had to perform to what always looked like a couple of bus loads of old age pensioners who’d been doped with too much Ovaltine.

It was absolutely right to bring back the voice of darts, Tony Green to do the scoring and it brought back great memories of all those Sunday teatimes when the whole family would gather round the telly and join in with the show’s creaky catchphrases.

It was so bad it was brilliant and it was good that the remake managed to pick up on that and still provide great entertainment. The speedboat at the end was a nice, if predictable touch though the most shocking thing was Bill Roache’s lack of knowledge of popular culture.

Telly moment of the week though was last week’s prizewinner mistaking Les Dennis for Jim Davidson. Pure comedy gold, which brought back memories of Les’s tour de force in Extras.

Watching the detectives
I’d love to give my views on ITV’s swish new detective drama Jericho but at some point during the first half hour I managed to dose off. It must have been riveting.

I can’t say I was overly keen on the concept of a famous detective, though they’ve done a tremendous job on recreating the London of the period.

I’ll stock up on the Red Bull and see if I can make it through a whole episode this week.

I slammed Vincent last week following the opener but ended up really enjoying the second episode, in part due to Roy Marsden’s excellent turn as clubland boss Terry O’Connor.

There was more humanity in Ray Winstone’s performance this week while Suranne Jones continues to impress.

All in all a far more enjoyable effort than the first one, though I still think the ex-wife and her copper lover is a wee bit too hackneyed a storyline.

Tonight Matthew, I’m gonna be…

Best performance of the week was easily that of Matthew Kelly in the creepy chiller Cold Blood. His icy countenance as an unrepentant serial killer was truly scary.

It’s a shame the piece was hamstrung by a typically dour showing from John Hannah as a man who had murdered his wife and her lover. How we are supposed to believe that a character barely showing a flicker of emotion is capable of a crime of passion is a bit of a mystery.

Another mystery was Jemma Redgrave’s accent, which seemed to be moving from region to region in every scene.

Fingers
Nasty scenes

I thought that EastEnders was supposed to be moving away from the gangster themed storylines. They are taking their time. Do we really need tales of women having their hands mutilated during family viewing time?

I really don’t think that the sadistic scene of Johnny crushing Peggy’s digits in a door is acceptable in family viewing time. If we are to expect more of this sort of behaviour then the scheduling of the show should be looked at, though frankly I think it would be a better show without such violence.

I’ll be taking a critical look at the return of Phil and Grant next week.

Nutter
Michelle Gomez is either very good at playing total nutters or is actually a total nutter. I don’t know what it is about her manic behaviour that makes for such good telly but it certainly does. Her brand of lunacy was one of high spots of Green Wing and is now a great ingredient in Simon Nye’s domestic sitcom.

Had Carrie and Barry been on a commercial station it may well have been ditched after one series but thankfully the BBC have the luxury of giving shows the time and space to find an audience. Despite the broad comedic strokes of Gomez and Mark Williams, it’s the believable relationship between the two leads that gives the show its heart.

Great stuff with some laugh out loud moments. Blessed it isn’t.

Starman
Rob Bryson can seemingly do little wrong at the minute. If you can make a subject like astronomy interesting and funny, you must be a comedy genius.

Supernova uses the culture clash between Brydon and the Aussie cast well without overly trading on it and the laughs come thick and fast.

This week’s episode where Dr. Paul thinks he has found God only to discover it was Jon Pertwee all the time was very clever and the scene with the noxious toad was priceless.

and finally...
In the battle of the chat shows, Jonathan Ross is way out in front, sparking nicely off his guests, his cheeky style can actually get them lose enough to let their guards slips and he certainly manages to get A –List guests.

Parky meanwhile fails to illicit too many interesting gems these days. Those who managed to stay awake past Chris Tarrant’s plug for his polar bear show and Susan Sarandon’s plug for her new movie would have treated to an interesting bit of chat from David Attenborough but I wonder who many had given up by then.

Sarandon is a very controversial figure in America with a long career and you would have thought that was enough material there to make a fascinating piece of telly. In Parky’s hands it was just a puff piece for her latest film. Has he lost his fangs since the Meg Ryan debacle of a couple of years ago?