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| Dainty deadly blades |
That’s why it was such a shock that Doctor Who’s Captain Jack went out of the competition because he was one of the best of the bunch. Indeed many of us were convinced the final would be a showdown between him and Bonnie Langford.
Now I can understand David Seaman getting a sympathy vote, having had to have a new partner for the week, but how the viewing public can justify spending good money voting for ex-Coronation Street clodhoppers Judy Mallet and Martin Platt over John Barrowman is very difficult to comprehend.
Perhaps it’s more fun hoping they’ll land on their behinds than watching a halfway decent performance.
Truly suffering for his art is Bonnie’s partner Matt Evers, who must be carrying more scar tissue than Ricky Hatton as chunks of him are continually carved off by Miss Langford’s dainty but deadly blades. Any more blood and they’ll have to get Tarantino in to direct.
I know we’re supposed to boo the judges in these type of shows but the bunch on this show are very constructive and make, in the main, valid comments. Even that Jason bloke that keeps upsetting Dame Kelly isn’t really that bad.
Shocking results though, proving yet again that if you don’t phone your votes in, your favourites can go out.
I’d like to point out to the producers that we voted out Andi Peters, possibly the most annoying man on British television, for a bloody good reason. That incessant chirpiness really, really grates. Stop bringing him back.
Beyond a joke
BBC News was in a difficult position this week as the row over Those Cartoons got out of hand.
While some viewers have complained to Newswatch at the cartoons not being shown, others were perturbed at the fleeting glimpses that were on view on major bulletins as the story broke. Aunty was very much on a tightrope.
To me, the argument for showing the offending pictures only holds weight if you actually need to see them to understand what all the fuss is about. I first heard about the story on Radio Five Live, where obviously pictures aren’t an option, and felt that thanks to the verbal skills of Peter Allen and Jane Garvey, I had a good understanding of the crux of the controversy. Subsequently seeing the cartoons added nothing to that understanding so my view is that, in the context of a news programme, they needn’t be shown.
However, I’d have no major objection to the images being shown on the BBC in a separate show from the news, where those who don’t wish to see them have the option not to look. This seems to me to be more sensible than the images popping up in a news report that is actually making the point that many find them offensive.
I’m all for free speech, I backed the showing of Jerry Springer – The Opera, but in that case you’d have to have been living in a cave not to be aware of the contentious content and detailed warnings were broadcast both at the start and part way through the broadcast so that those who would be offended didn’t have to watch if they didn’t want to.
I’m not a deeply religious person myself but the furore reminded me of the unease I’d felt as Chantelle won Celebrity Big Brother, when a continual stream of “Oh My God” and “Jesus Christ” came from her lips. I’m not the most spiritual person in the world so if that jarred with me it must have offended many people of faith.
Good luck in all your endeavours
Why come up with an original idea when you can resurrect an old one? We may have lost Morse and indeed the great John Thaw but that's no barrier to ITV rehashing an old warhorse to make a few extra quid. In this case though I really don't mind because Lewis was positively dripping in quality. In a way it's a shame that the ghost of Morse hung around so much but hopefully that'll soon pass when and if this goes to series, as it surely must.
Unlike the likes of Taggart and Midsomer Murders, where you often have to suspend disbelief to live with the plot holes, this hangs together beautifully as a conundrum to be enjoyed. The quality of the original show always meant it was able to attract great casts and this was no exception with the likes of Michael Maloney, Jemma Redgrave and even Bad Girls' panto baddie Jack Ellis managing to shine.
The new sidekick works well too; a perfect contrast to Lewis who, despite having far more to do than when he was the mere bagman, stayed true to the methodical character we'd grown to know and love. I'm glad that didn't attempt to turn Lewis into Morse MkII though he has believably picked up the odd foible along the way and making him a widower allows him to be that wee bit grumpier.
If I’m being picky, there were way too many Morse references in the early part of the show - that Jag sequence seemed unnecessary - but hey, these are minor grumbles.
This was a superior whodunit, beautifully filmed and wonderfully played and I'm thirsty for more.
Don’t look around the eyes
Paul McKenna's weight loss programme makes a lot of sense but despite his positivity there's no help for some of us.
I nodded sagely at his techniques thinking how simple they were and how effective they could be. Tragically for my ever-expanding waistband I was eating a bag of Doritos and a Crunchie choc-ice at the time. Thanks to Paul though, I really really enjoyed them.
Well done, mate.
Several people have told me that they are losing loads by following the plan. Thing is they don't look any different. I wonder whether they have lost weight or whether ace hypnotist McKenna has just made them think they have? After all, weighing yourself is a no-no on this scheme.
Whatever the outcome it's certainly entertaining telly and if a few people end up healthier and happier as a result, who’s going to complain.
A load of balls
Despite the fact it's been moved back to Monday lunchtime, its traditional home, all the drama that used to make The F.A. Cup draw so special has gone.
In the olden days, the radio - not the telly – bods used to gatecrash the FA committee meeting where the draw was being carried out by crusty old men and you had an image of dusty suits and the port being passed round and the balls were pulled from a velvet bag that you imagined had seen better days. It had an air of mystique to it. It's all so slick and corporate now and nowhere near as exciting as in the days when things were presided over by the late lamented Ted Croker.
The FA has just got far too sexy. Why not have next month’s draw carried by Faria and Ulrika with Nancy as the MC? That'd pull in the viewers.
On the BBC, the draw was all over and done with in minutes, so spare a thought for the poor presenters at Sky Sports News who had to spread the “excitement” for several hours both before and after the draw itself.
Not quite alwight
Readers of my Big Brother column will be aware that I was concerned throughout the run of the show for the mental state of Michael Barrymore. He seems to have emerged triumphant from the experience and ready to relaunch his career but I still felt really on edge while watching his star turn on The Friday Night Project, despite knowing it was pre-recorded.
The old slickness and confidence just wasn’t there and he looked truly terrified when cast into the audience in that coat covered in money.
Preston also looked very uneasy on the show but this format really suits Alan Carr despite the lack of chemistry with annoying co-host Justin Lee Collins.
Telly bosses will be wracking their brains to come up with a vehicle for Barrymore but for me it’s a no-brainer. There’s a massive Paul O’Grady shaped hole in ITV1’s early evening schedule that Barrymore could easily fit.
Down in the comedy basement
Alan Yentob defended the fate of the sitcom this week on Imagine… though I was unconvinced by some of his arguments. David Liddiment was more convincing when he asked who killed the sitcom earlier in the year.
The problem these days is that whereas home grown sitcoms used to be all over the schedules, there are a much rarer beast these days, so the sense of disappointment when they fail to deliver the goods is so much the greater. Worse still, even if they are delivering the laughs, failure to deliver the ratings means they can die before becoming fully formed.
I tuned in the debut of The IT Crowd with high hopes but ultimately felt a bit flat after seeing the opening episodes. I can’t help thinking that all the pre-publicity didn’t help but for my taste the performances were too broad and the gags overly laboured.
It was the presence of Chris Morris that really unnerved me though. I was expecting something far more subversive from the man who gave us, according to five, the most controversial comedy moment ever.
To ensure I wasn’t being overly harsh on the new show, I watched both episodes again and to be fair, I did laugh out loud on three occasions. That’s three more times than I managed during a whole series of Blessed.
Soap bubbles
Corrie’s Killer Katy turned up in cosy Sunday night drama Wild at Heart and surprisingly managed to get through the whole opening episode without taking a spanner to Amanda Holden. Don’t worry though, there are plenty of instalments left so it could still happen.
Over on Albert Square, Patrick looked terrified as Pat rediscovered her libido and who can blame him? Even Mo Harris had a sparkle in her eye as she set her sights on Pauline’s Joe. Are they putting something in the gin?
