We're sad to report that some celebrities are becoming a little spoiled with all these generous presents we're lavishing upon them. It seems it's not enough that a beautifully-wrapped gift is dispatched to their mansion on their big day and they're now demanding to call the shots themselves. We've been literally deluged with emails from stars letting us know in advance what we should buy them when their turn rolls around. Humph. We think it's best to nip that kind of malarkey in the bud here and now. As our old mum used to say: "You'll get what you're given and like it!"

Oprah Winfrey

How many candles? The US TV institution celebrates her 54th birthday on Tuesday.

DS' birthday present: How will Oprah cope now she's slipped off that pedestal and is no longer the darling of the US media? We've arranged a little tête-à-tête with Jade Goody so she can get some tips from our very own expert on handling bad press.

Anna Ryder Richardson

How many candles? The I'm A Celeb... alumnus is 44 on Tuesday.

DS' birthday present: We wanted to buy Anna a zoo-warming present so we scoured the Aussie jungle for a few of her favourite eight-legged friends. They're sure to add an exotic flavour to her new insect exhibit!

John Lydon

How many candles? Johnny Rotten's alter-ego celebrates his 52nd birthday on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: The Sex Pistols are to record their first new material for 30 years but has John got what it takes to be a 21st century punk? We hired Donny Tourette to show him how it's done - or should that be the other way around?

Justin Timberlake

How many candles? The trousersnake is 27 on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: Justin must be doing some heavy-duty grovelling to Jessica Biel after he was spotted smooching with Kate Hudson last week. So we pooled our writing talents here at DS towers to compose a love letter on his behalf that'll turn her to jelly.

Isla Fisher

How many candles? Borat's other half turns 32 on Sunday.

DS' birthday present: Isla admits she's been hitting the high street to research her forthcoming role in Confessions Of A Shopaholic (Mmm. Does that sound like an excuse?). A whirlpool foot spa will be just the thing to soothe her aching feet at the end of a long day of retail therapy.