Now that the awards season is well underway, we've added some old-fashioned glamour to this week's birthday celebrations. We've rolled out the red carpet outside DS Towers and lined the streets with paparazzi to snap our celebs as they arrive in their Hollywood finery. Because we think of absolutely everything, we've even flown in a few famous faces to present our carefully-chosen presents. How kind are we? We just hope no-one throws a tantrum if we cut their acceptance speech short when they've thanked everyone from their shrink to the pet bullfrog they had as a child.

Natalie Imbruglia

How many candles? The antipodean popstrel is 33 today.

DS' birthday present: Poor Nat needs some time to wallow in self-pity after splitting from hubby Daniel Johns earlier this month. We bought her a tub of Häagen-Dazs, a Love, Actually DVD and a bumper box of Kleenex so she get all those unshed tears out of her system.

Alice Cooper

How many candles? The shock-rocker reaches the big 6-0 today.

DS' birthday present: First Ozzy, then Gene Simmons, surely it's time Alice showed how it's done with his own fly-on-the-wall TV show? We had a little word with our contacts in the US and it's no sooner said than done. We'll even throw in a sitter to look after the snake!

Calum Best

How many candles? The Love Island lothario is 27 on Wednesday.

DS' birthday present: Calum will be looking to settle down when his new reality show rolls around so it's time to put those womanising ways aside. We know it'll be hard for the poor guy, so we booked him a week in a Tibetan monastery to help him get started.

Eddie Izzard

How many candles? The nation's favourite "action transvestite" turns 46 on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: Eddie's website begs fans to "tell everyone they've ever met" to watch his hit show The Riches, so we felt it was our duty to spread the word. The Goodyear blimp should be gliding over the UK with a gigantic banner as we speak.

Ashton Kutcher

How many candles? Demi Moore's toyboy hubby celebrates his 30th birthday on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: Ashton may be searching for spiritual solace now he's given Kabbalah the heave-ho, so could it be time to poke his toe into the murky waters of Scientology? We nabbed him a selection of those Tom Cruise videos to get that idea out of his head here and now.