Shameful as it is, we're a bit obsessed with celebrity bodies this week. Which actor doesn't wash enough? Which actress enjoys walking round the house naked? And which actor/reality show panellist/showbiz institution likes to gets his "chap" out on set? The answers can be found within this week's very nosey Celebrity Chart.

10. Orlando Bloom
Oh Orlando, haven't you seen the Lynx advert?

9. Natalie Portman
The Closer star admits she wants to "grab" Scarlett Johansson's breasts. Don't we all, Natalie, don't we all...

7. Simon Cowell
Uncle Simon's a "destructive influence" on Sinitta's kids, apparently.

7. Kate Hudson
Miss Hudson, for your own sake, please remember to draw the curtains before you indulge yourself!

6. Spice Girls
Sob! Was Wednesday's performance really their last ever gig?

5. Annabel Croft
The tennis star-turned-TV 'personality' scores a well-deserved underhanded victory in our battle of the Annabels.

4. Bruce Forsyth
Happy 80th birthday, Brucie!

3. Johnny Borrell
If rumours are to be believed, the Razorlight star's been romancing Natalie Imbruglia this week. How on earth does he do it?

2. Vanessa Williams
Ugly Betty's queen bee tells us something we already know: she's a fan of Botox.

1. John Barrowman
It's not big - well, it might be, we don't know for certain - and it's not clever, but it is quite funny. Here's to Barrowman's "chap"!