So you think you can beat Big Brother? The participants have been in there just one night and made friends quickly.

Nine weeks. Count them. Nine long weeks, totally cut off from the outside world. Doesn't bother you? What about the 21 microphones attending your every word? What about the camera in the toilet? Are you going to be able to pee? There are 24 cameras all over the house, but could you pee with the world watching?

And how about the nine complete strangers you're going to have to learn to live with? Then there's the lack of booze and the fact you've only got £1.50 a day to pay for food? What's going to happen if you run out of fags?

Then there is the fear. The constant fear that tomorrow your housemates will elect you as one of the two people they would most like to see thrown out of the house.

And then there's the boredom! No telephones. No CD players. No televisions. Not even a clock. Not even a phone. How will you entertain yourself? And if Big Brother tells you to wake up - you will wake up. If Big Brother wants to provide just one hour of hot water a day - that's what you get. And if it all gets too much where are you going to hide from the world's prying eye?

Non-compliance is not an option. This is the reality that is Big Brother. Still think you can do it?

Big Brother is a Bazal production for Channel 4.