What are the Tenth Doctor's last words?

The Tenth Doctor's wildly popular stint in the Tardis is almost at an end. The moment has been prepared for, with Whovians already stocking up on tissues in preparation for a very emotional Christmas in front of the telly. But what will the Time Lord's final words be? Russell T. Davies has suggested that the last letter he wrote for the character is 'n', so on that basis here is some random speculation on what might be said just before David Tennant bids adieu…


"Ood Sigma - you could have warned me that my 'song' was 'Barbie Girl' by Aqua. Where's the shotgun?"
*The Doctor 'does an Adelaide'*

"Martha, when you told me you had crabs I thought you were talking about some kind of sexual infection..."
*Martha morphs into a Macra and devours The Doctor*

"Mustn't blink. The Weeping Angels are closing in. (Sniffles) Damn, why do Time Lords suffer from hayfever too? I suppose it is summertime on Gallifrey. Has anyone got any Triludan?"
*Involuntarily shuts eyes as he goes to sneeze and is killed by Weeping Angel*

"Allons-y Alonso! My time is almost up, but what a fantastic time it's been. New beginnings await. Just do one last thing for me Donna Noble - destroy every tweed suit and bow tie you can find in the Tardis. Now! I don't want my next incarnation to look like a moron…"

"Mickey Smith, I'll never forgive you for being eaten by that rubbish bin..."
*The Doctor suffers double cardiac arrest from laughing too much*

(After watching Donna unzip her forehead and advance towards him menacingly)
"I thought all that gas was down to HRT. All this time - you were a Slitheen..."

"Jackie Tyler, I can no longer hide my true feelings for you. Do you want to have the ride of a lifetime? Go on, go on, go on!"
*Doctor suffers massive internal damage and regenerates after Jackie whacks him with her handbag*

"I never did manage to visit Barcelona after all. Thanks to Ken Livingstone and his Freedom Pass I spent most of this regeneration stuck in bloody London!"
*Snuffs it*

(A trip to Gallifrey to meet the revived Time Lord race yields a strange encounter)
"It can't be. I thought this device was only the stuff of legend. No Rassilon, no. Not the mind probe! Nooooooo! Noooooo! Nnnn..."

(Following a member of the Sycorax chopping his left hand off)
"This other hand - this is my fighting hand!"
*Sycorax chops off his other hand*
"Damn!"
*Regenerates, regrows limbs and reaps revenge*

(To Sarah Jane Smith, as he lies dying)
"Promise to shoot me between the eyes if I have the same taste in clothes as my sixth incarnation..."

(After going for a curry to celebrate saving the universe from The Master)
"Hmmm. Something didn't taste right about that keema naan..."
*Starts convulsing. Perishes from food poisoning*

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