[irfantaj]

Hi, fellow ONDigitalers

Okay guys, I subscribed to ONdigital about eleven months ago and I have been very disappointed with their service when I subscribed I was told to expect “great” channels coming soon, I was told about ONDigital getting channels such as Paramount Comedy, Nickelodeon, The Discovery Channel and Zee TV, and perhaps most of you could not careless about ZEE TV but my mum does, and what my mum says is usually final. I subscribed to ondigital thinking that we would shortly get these channels, I was also told about pay-per-view channels, teletext and email, and although they have these services up and running now, im still disappointed with the service because I expected these additions ages ago.

Anyway some of you guys may be content with their service but I am far from it and not all of you may feel like I do about ONdigital but here’s a cover version of TLC’s song “NO SCRUBS” which I have renamed “NO ONdigital” anyway before you ask yes I, Irfan Taj did write this and have put this here for a “laugh” cos ONdigital is basically a joke anyway!

I hope you like it, here it goes:

ONdigital is a crap television broadcaster,
Subscribe and it will be classified as a disaster.
Always talkin' about changing they’re channel line up,
But all we get is broken promises and I’ve lost hope.
So (no)
I don't want ONdigital (no)
I don't want their channels (no)
I don't want to give them my money (no)
I don't want it anymore (no)

I don't want ONdigital
ONdigital is a tv operator that won’t get no money from me
Broken promises and lies
Cant wait until my contract expires
Eleven months of disappointment
The channel line-up needs re-alignment
I’m always looking for a new channel,
Never find one and I wanna throw my box down a canal.
Can’t take no more,
Rather give my subscription fee to a whore.

I wish I went for Sky Digital,
But I went for an operator that puts on s**t all
Don’t like the channels provided by Carlton,
Old soaps, dramas, films and a stupid cartoon.
Not too keen on Granada,
They need to sort out their content and work harder.
Waited ages for sky sports two,
Got it but I’m still feeling blue.
Still waiting for Paramount Comedy and Nickelodeon,
Keep wondering when will they be on.
Contract ends in June,
Gonna give my box back when its due.
I don't want ONdigital (no)
I don't want their channels (no)
I don't want to give them my money (no)
I don't want it anymore (no)

I don't want ONdigital
ONdigital is a tv operator that won’t get no money from me
Broken promises and lies
Cant wait until my contract expires
Eleven months of disappointment
The channel line-up needs re-alignment
I’m always looking for a new channel,
Never find one and I wanna throw my box down a canal.
Can’t take no more,
Rather give my subscription fee to a whore.

Gonna cancel my subscription on the 4th June
Yeah next month, pretty soon.
My name is Irfan,
I wish I didn’t subscribe I cud have saved for a holiday and got a tan.
Rather be with Sky,
They put the customer first or in the least try.
I Waited long enough for pay-per-view,
But its too late cos my subscription I will not renew.
Rather be watching BSKYB
And shortly I will be.
Their email system is awful,
Wont take anymore of their bull.
I don't want ONdigital (no)
I don't want to their channels (no)
I don't want to give you my money (no)
I don't want it anymore (no)

I don't want ONdigital
ONdigital is a tv operator that won’t get no money from me
Broken promises and lies
Cant wait until my contract expires
Eleven months of disappointment
The channel line-up needs re-alignment
I’m always looking for a new channel,
Never find one and I wanna throw my box down a canal.
Can’t take no more,
Rather give my subscription fee to a whore.

OYE! Before you copy it and start sending it people you know just remember one thing you have to credit me, Irfan Taj because this is covered by copyright laws 2000 (not really, but I just don’t want some other idiot taking credit for this, because I wrote it)

HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT, LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK OF IT!

A truly angry ONdigital Customer,

Irfan Taj

[Jonesy]

Dont give up you day job Irfan Taj

[Mark]

Although I thought your song was good, I can't help asking the question :

WHY DID YOU JOIN ONDIGITAL?

Surely you knew what channels were available when you took out your subscription. Any advertising I have seen always lists the channels available.

If you prefer Sky, give them a call!!!!

[irfantaj]

yeah mark you have a very valid point why did I subscribe to ONdigital, I was misinformed, told to expect more, the workers at Dixons and the help desk at ONDigital told me to expect "loads" of new channels.

And besides I was 18, gullible and naive when I subscribed to ONdigital and now I'm a year wiser.

BUT the question is NOT why did I subscribe to ONDigital the question is why does anyone subscribe to ONdigital?

And I know some of you guys might be happy with ONDigital's service, but im not

Anyway back to the point what do you guys think of my song, im a little disappoined I've only had two responses - BUT thanks guys!

[Mr Rat]

The song's.. ok. It would probably work better for me if I'd heard the original and knew who TLC were (oh my GOD, I've become my parents!).

[irfantaj]

TLC are three girls (yummy) who sing RnB, rap and etc, etc NO SCRUBS was a big hit last year (number one for several weeks) it was one of my fave songs for ages!

[Byron]

Songs good, you obviously went to a lot of effort. But why!?! If you love Sky, as has been said, go join them! This whole topic is an utter waste of time and space!

And in the sky forum, some subscribers are envious of OnDigital!

[irfantaj]

Byron, I went for ondigital because I was mis-informed by the ONdigital customer services team!

And are Sky Digi viewers really envious of ONdigital - why can you enlighten me, I can only think of couple of reasons, Teletext, Champions League and ITV. Is there any other reasons?

So what does everyone else think of my rewrite?

[hennenoe]

The grass is always greener...?

Noel Hennessy

[irfantaj]

greener, its not that green!

[Mark]

I suppose it's always a question of what you want.

Do you want, say 20 or 30 channels, where you are likely to watch most of them from time to time?

Or do you want about 200 channels, where you still watch only about 10 or 20?

Personally, I don't want a dish on the side of my house - and I do sometimes take my box with me when I visit relatives. And ITV, ITV and OnSports are better than a lot of channels that I don't get with OnD.

So - I am happy with OnD, but I can get really pissed off with OnD customer (lack of) services. As has been said before, OnD is OK, but it is let down by lack of support (customer services & technical problems with boxes.)

[irfantaj]

yeah you just cant win either way, BUT i wud prefer some decent channels rather than the crap Granada and Carlton give us!

[huwdw]

i can think of many examples where Sky is better e.g
OnD had Mtv
Sky has Mtv,Mtv Extra, Mtv 2 and MTv base, bot to mention The Box and UKPLAY

OnD has discovery kids/wings
Sky has the disocvery channel, discovery civilisation, discovery travel and and adventure,discovery sci-trek and discovery home a leisure

need i say more?

[Azam]

Irfan Taj - this is for u!

Roses are Red,
Violets are Blue,
OnDigital is CRAP!!
SkyDigital is the BEST!!!
Full Stop!

[irfantaj]

well..duh

cant you read Azam, thats basically what im saying in my frigging song!

[cheeni]

Oh paleeeeease Mr Azam....at least irfans rhymed...

Violets R blue,
Roses r pink,
Stop picking on ify cos
I think ur comments stink!!

[James D]

Really worth while comments in here!

[hennenoe]

Can you leave your petty arguments for the play ground please or air you're opinions somewhere where it will be appreciated?

I wasn't aware that this was a forum for pop star wannabes or for slagging of particular systems.

Noel Hennessy

[cheeni]

And who rattled ur cage??

if its so 'petty', then why waste ur precious time with writing in, i'm sure u've got better things to do.....like watch skydigital!!

[Ben Hart]

ONdigital do have advantages over Sky, like ONsport, teletext and of course, ITV (although I have heard rumours that ITV will finally broadcast on digital satellite).
However, Sky have many more advantages, like 14 film channels, plus films starting as often as every 15 minutes, interactive sports, and many, many more channels.

Also, have you noticed that shops never have ONdigital showing on the TVs. They only show Sky Digital.

[irfantaj]

Well thanks Ben Hart, I finally get some decent feedback!

Will the rest of you stop insulting me and my song!

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, it doesnt mean you have to inflict your verbal bruisings on me

[hennenoe]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Arial, Helvetica">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by cheeni:
And who rattled ur cage??

if its so 'petty', then why waste ur precious time with writing in, i'm sure u've got better things to do.....like watch skydigital!! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


Sorry did I not make myself clear? I don't think that there is any room in this forum for "mine's better than yours" arguments.

Both systems have their advantages and disavantages. Both systems customers choose a particular system because it suits them (in most cases, in other cases it's beacause they buy into something without actually knowing what it does.)

I waste my "precious" time as you put it, as myself and others have to wade through your bullshit in order to get to posts that are actually worth reading.

Noel Hennessy

[James Roberts]

I'm with Noel on this one.

Everyone I have spoken to knew exactly what ONdigital provided when they signed up. To blame it on inaccurate information is pretty piss-poor to be honest. The first thing you must learn in life is that Dixons are staffed by monkeys. No offence, but in my experience they are. I emjoy going into my local branches (North End Rd, Oxford Street, Putney Bridge etc..) and asking them about their MP3 players, digital TV systems, computers, etc... I have many stories of how useless they are.

Anyway here are my reasons why I prefer ONdigital (posted a few weeks ago):

1) Sky Digital boxes on occasion "freeze up", usually when it's stormy. I have had less problems with my ONdigital box than my friend has with her Sky Digital box.

2) In my house we have two ONdigital boxes, you can't do that with Sky you have to pay the full price for the second box (£350 approx)

3) Our email system is better. We get notification over the air instead of dialing up.

4) No dish, no cable, no hassle

5) ONdigital boxes have timers, Sky's don't

6) We have digital teletext, this adds a lot to a channel when used correctly (eg BBC Knowledge). Granted there has to be more content but it's a start.

7) Boxes bought on pre-pay means you can watch digital TV within half an hour, no waiting for installation

8) Watching Chelsea being knocked out of the UCL by Barça deserves a years subscription by itself

9) ITV, ITV2

10) I hate Rupert Murdoch.

11) If you move house, you can take your ONdigital box with you and just plug in.

12) Interchangeable smartcards (we have one subscription with all channels, one with just primaries if we want to watch a movie in bed we simply swap the cards over)

[here's the bit that makes me sound old]

Now about the song. I don't know this TLC are but I'm sure they are a product of the MTV culture. Anyone who is anyone in music (ie not TLC, or Boyzone, or Westlife, or Spice Girls, or any pre-fabricated crap singing group) got where they are by a lot of hard work. There's a reason why Dylon, The Rolling Stones, Queen, The Beatles... aren't on MTV. It's because they were good.

[rant over]

[Paul Kerton]

Now I hate to get into a music discussion, but that pessimistic closed minded view that they were created by MTV culture is utter bullcrap.

". I don't know this TLC are but I'm sure they are a product of the MTV culture. Anyone who is anyone in music (ie not TLC"

If you don't know who TLC are who are you to judge.

Rolling Stones were basic, boring 12 bar blues, the Beatles best songs were the ones that people never heard ie not Yellow frigging submarine, and as for Queen, well if you want terrible drumming, moderately average basslines, and playing guitar based around very simple guitar logic, which isn't clever or interesting then thats where you can dip you wick. The only talent in Queen was Freddie Mercury's voice, and even he sold himself out to a dance remix before he died to get 'Living On My Own' to number 1, knocking Take That off the top.

Yes, the Spice Girls and Westlife and Boyzone were made, but to pass judgement on a band that you have never heard of such as TLC is some of the close minded bullshit that people speak if they are set in their ways.

There are, believe it or not a few bands out there who are not prefabricated who are regularly top 10 hits. I am not a fan of pop music, but even bands like Atomic Kitten were not fabricated, they formed thereselves.

Go home, put your feet up and watch Last Of The Summer Wine.

Why people make judgements before trying something is purely beyond me.

[rant over]

[irfantaj]

James I know that both Ondigital and Sky Digital both have different benefits. I just wanted to display my disgust at ONdigital, BUT its okay if you are content with ONDigital, ITS JUST THAT IM NOT!

As for your "bitichin" about music, I've always been a firm believer that everbody's entitled to their own choice and that you cannot prejudge music or anything for that matter and without giving it a chance!

THIS IS DIGITAL TV FORUM SO LETS GET OFF THIS TOPIC!

I do believe that I was mislead when I got Ondigital - I was told of the "exciting new channels" soon to be arriving BUT yes its my fault, I should not have listened to that crap ONdigital sales team told me NOR should have I listened to those monkeys at DIXONS!