Victors best lines - Big Brother

burstovary · 21-07-2004, 01:25

(I have read these quotes of VIC from the great
THE BLUE NUN
and it was he who collected them

I think they deserve their own thread so that people can read how funny VIC is

Thank you Blue Nun
whose post was on the great thread "Sixth in the house ...First in our hearts" by Plato)

.........
A few quotes from the Slick to enjoy:

“My DNA stands for Dis Negro is Attractive”

“When I’m with a woman you could call me the milkman coz I always deliver.”

“ I’m gonna treat this game like having sex with a beautiful woman. You obviously have to make her feel good, warm it up a little – when it’s all ready, go for full penetration.”

“Nadia a.k.a Hack Jaw a.k.a Mrs Jimmy Hill Jaw a.k.a Sink the f**king titanic with my jaw.”

“Kitten is more wobbly than Rik Waller doing a belly dance on a three legged table.”

“It’s time to pick those suckers off one by one. That’s how it’s going down.”

on michelle..."if i was single i'd bang her"

"A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge"

“I’m one smart son of a b*tch!”

“They call me ‘The Slick’ coz I
always get the job done.”

“You’ve got to stalk your prey
properly. Let her drink at the
watering hole and then pounce.”

“Ideally I’d like for Emma to leave to free up some room in the bathroom coz she sh*ts like 10 times a day! It’s like physiologically impossible. There are no bounds where the W.C world and she’s concerned.”

“Yeah you know if we were on the streets it wouldn’t have gone down like that. No one wants beef with me man, you know what I’m saying.”

“Emma maybe the most stupidest person on the face of this earth and I think that her time would be better spent in four years of night school learning her alphabets again.”

“They call me the plumber coz when I get close to women and start working I like to lay pipe, you know what I mean?”

“When it's stiff, u know, I got girth! They call me the girth man.”

“There’s a sayin where I come from, cut the grass and the snakes
will show their faces.”

To Davina “Oi! This ain’t no BT phone ad!”

“If you’re going to cheat on somebody it should really be with someone better looking.”

“If we were outside it’d be a different story I’d tell you that.”

“Some men will rise to the challenge other men will fall,
When it comes to the come down if you can’t swim you’ll drown,
And one way or another who will be the victor?”

“Anyone who can approach a black man they don’t know and call him a ****** on the first night just does not think.”

“I'd like to be richer than Bill Gates, so I
can walk up to him and say 'What's
going on, boy?'"

“I don't walk on eggshells for nobody. You
can give someone leeway if they've got a
problem, but no one talks to me with disrespect."

“Before me there was many, after me there will be none, I will not stop here until my work is done.”

"I plan to go to gay bars so I can meet girls without competition"

“Bring it straight to Victor and say what you've got to say.”

"I first thought Emma had a face only a blind mother could love."

"Time goes slower in here than Vanessa Feltz metabolism"

On Emma “She’s like an animal, even a monkey has more brain power than her.”

“I’m a contender, u know a champion,
depending on how you come back
shows how good a champion you are.”

"Men don’t mind good looking lesbians"

"I’m going to get ill if you keep giving
me cold showers, I’ve got the sniffles already".

Talking about the cameras “You Cant take a sh*t without a fibre optic camera pointing up your anus."

“Fat women are like mopeds, they're both alright for a ride until your mates see you with them."

"I always tell my friends when they get into arguments with old people, I stop them and say 'look, don't argue with this guy - he probably killed people in World War Two. 'He's killed before and he'll kill again!"

Talking about his game plan "I’m gonna take my time ... make them think that I'm not a threat ... and then alpha-male them to death.”

Victor (to Stu): "It's ok for you, you are gonna get your thing hard tonight... what kind of day have I had? I’ve walked in on Ahmed. (In the loo) not once, but twice... straining as he turns to look at me... what kind of a day is that?”

“Let them have their mourning time... then I'm going after the rest of them [Nadia, Marco and Michelle]. If they came in here to have fun, they should have saved their time, gone to the funfair instead.”

"Men can sleep around and get high 5s from their mates… But women get called slags in reality",

"It is time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the weak from the boys.”

“Let this be the first time the bad guy wins."

“To be the man you got to beat the man. And I am the man.”

"Better not drop the soap in the shower
there are too many gay and bisexual guys in here.”

“Let me give you some information... everyone in there still loves me! Why is that, people at home? ... I'm a loveable rogue. You can't help but like me - I grow on you like moss... it's just one of them things."

“Nadia seems to have found a way of harnessing TRAPJAW'S (from He-Man) DNA and fusing it with her own to create some new being.”

“I waged the war on terrorism and become the George Bush of this house and my administrative team doesn’t like terrorists.”

“The first person I see booing me, I have a lung full of spit for them.”

“Man I hate flip-flops, they mess
wiv ma walk!”

“Sometimes people take my
kindness for my weakness.”

“All I’ve got is my pride and my
balls.”

On Nadia “Sometimes I catch her looking at me from the corner of my eye, meaning she either fancies me or wants to kill me.”

"If my son ain't outside here when I leave, I'm gonna jump over the barriers and catch the night bus home."

“I thinks it’s about time we started mixing it up in here, get a bit f**kin’ lively.” (Kicks Pillow)

Nominating Dan "Dan A.k.a ‘Gandalf the Gay’ Its time for him to have a coke, a smile and get the f**k out of this house!

“This house is already filled with enough village idiots without the new girl coming in.”

Dan: I wouldn't know what to do if someone was having a panic attack.

Victor: Don't you just give them a slap?

Victor's theory on why BB put Becki in the House "She is opened to being banged"

To Marco about his eviction “It’s kinda like we’re all different genres of film and that’s it’s too early for your genre to come off the shelf.”

"I'm a chess player.....I make moves"

“Marco when you get out watch the tape…Your being a bloody idiot now man.”

“The only thing that they could have done to make Becki better is make her more attractive.”

About school, "I Used to see my name scrawled on desks and I thought 'Woah! Those chicks wanna bang me!"

About Becki "When I first saw her she looked rodent-like. I thought I might have to call Rentokil to sort this gaff out."

“I don’t trust anybody but myself, coz when you put your trust in someone that’s when they go and do something stupid.”

To big bro after taking his noms away "You left me like a sitting duck... 'cos it's hunting season,"

"I don't say much, and when I do say something that means it's serious,"

"I do more dirt than a mole, a worm. I play dirty. Everybody in here knows I do"

thms · 21-07-2004, 01:37

read this post earlier glad you posted them under a separate thread
whilst some are indeed 'funny', there are several quotes
to remind people why they should vote victor out on friday

balth_dire · 21-07-2004, 01:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by thms

read this post earlier glad you posted them under a separate thread
whilst some are indeed 'funny', there are several quotes
to remind people why they should vote victor out on friday

I am a supporter of his, but I do agree, they're hardly all original classics. Many aren't even paraphrases, just bald clichés, quotes from the book of useless useful quips, the same brand of predictable rhetoric that made Jade famous! That list could be slashed by at least 50 percent.

NoelRock · 21-07-2004, 02:18

“Nadia a.k.a Hack Jaw a.k.a Mrs Jimmy Hill Jaw a.k.a Sink the f**king titanic with my jaw.”

Best one methinks... was in hysterics when I read/heard this...

Also:

“Kitten is more wobbly than Rik Waller doing a belly dance on a three legged table.”

Fab. Victor is the funny man of this season anyway.

burstovary · 21-07-2004, 21:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by balth_dire

I am a supporter of his, but I do agree, they're hardly all original classics. Many aren't even paraphrases, just bald clichés, quotes from the book of useless useful quips, the same brand of predictable rhetoric that made Jade famous! That list could be slashed by at least 50 percent.

yeah thats true - i think most of these quotes were from the first half of the season

add1234 · 22-07-2004, 10:10

U watch BB to much

lulu · 22-07-2004, 10:13

"I feel like I have just run over my kitten on my bike" - re his argument with Shell.

Hamlet77 · 22-07-2004, 10:15

and you are a fan of Victor? Hardly Oscar Wilde is he?

Too many of them sound like they've been rehearsed once too often.

PR. · 22-07-2004, 10:29

Nothing beats this weeks nomination when he nominated Dan:

"If we put Dan with ossama bin larden, Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat in a cave with a pot of Nutella there would be peace for years..."

big_nadia_hater · 22-07-2004, 10:30

Also my fav "She's as safe as the last piece of pizza at the celebrity Fat Farm"

And "There's more buts than a nightclub ash tray"

Another cracker is "Sits on more fences than worzel gummage"

Kosar19 · 22-07-2004, 10:32

'Do you know who I am. Do you know who the f--- I am'

Had me falling about that one.

burstovary · 22-07-2004, 22:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by big_nadia_hater

Also my fav "She's as safe as the last piece of pizza at the celebrity Fat Farm"

And "There's more buts than a nightclub ash tray"

Another cracker is "Sits on more fences than worzel gummage"

well theres also "I ate your chicken" to Shell

or even better
"I want you to boil that kettle and pour it over your head!!!" to Dan

22-07-2004, 23:11

On Kitten in the diary room -

"It's time to put the cat down... The vet is in session"

22-07-2004, 23:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kosar19

'Do you know who I am. Do you know who the f--- I am'

Had me falling about that one.

This is the one I'll remember him for. Pennywise the Clown was a muppet next to Vic.

onyx4 · 22-07-2004, 23:43

he said something like, "i like nadia, shes got balls," almost fell off the chair when he said that!

robbies_gal · 22-07-2004, 23:50

i dont like him but the best one was

can we have some bread and milk please-after his big up session

rodie · 23-07-2004, 00:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by onyx4

he said something like, "i like nadia, shes got balls," almost fell off the chair when he said that!

Yip! Just tonight on Channel 4. ThAT was a corker!!!.

21-07-2004, 01:25	#1
burstovary Forum Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 2,729	Victors best lines (I have read these quotes of VIC from the great THE BLUE NUN and it was he who collected them I think they deserve their own thread so that people can read how funny VIC is Thank you Blue Nun whose post was on the great thread "Sixth in the house ...First in our hearts" by Plato) ......... A few quotes from the Slick to enjoy: “My DNA stands for Dis Negro is Attractive” “When I’m with a woman you could call me the milkman coz I always deliver.” “ I’m gonna treat this game like having sex with a beautiful woman. You obviously have to make her feel good, warm it up a little – when it’s all ready, go for full penetration.” “Nadia a.k.a Hack Jaw a.k.a Mrs Jimmy Hill Jaw a.k.a Sink the f*king titanic with my jaw.” “Kitten is more wobbly than Rik Waller doing a belly dance on a three legged table.” “It’s time to pick those suckers off one by one. That’s how it’s going down.” on michelle..."if i was single i'd bang her" "A beer in the hand is worth two in the fridge" “I’m one smart son of a btch!” “They call me ‘The Slick’ coz I always get the job done.” “You’ve got to stalk your prey properly. Let her drink at the watering hole and then pounce.” “Ideally I’d like for Emma to leave to free up some room in the bathroom coz she shts like 10 times a day! It’s like physiologically impossible. There are no bounds where the W.C world and she’s concerned.” “Yeah you know if we were on the streets it wouldn’t have gone down like that. No one wants beef with me man, you know what I’m saying.” “Emma maybe the most stupidest person on the face of this earth and I think that her time would be better spent in four years of night school learning her alphabets again.” “They call me the plumber coz when I get close to women and start working I like to lay pipe, you know what I mean?” “When it's stiff, u know, I got girth! They call me the girth man.” “There’s a sayin where I come from, cut the grass and the snakes will show their faces.” To Davina “Oi! This ain’t no BT phone ad!” “If you’re going to cheat on somebody it should really be with someone better looking.” “If we were outside it’d be a different story I’d tell you that.” “Some men will rise to the challenge other men will fall, When it comes to the come down if you can’t swim you’ll drown, And one way or another who will be the victor?” “Anyone who can approach a black man they don’t know and call him a ***** on the first night just does not think.” “I'd like to be richer than Bill Gates, so I can walk up to him and say 'What's going on, boy?'" “I don't walk on eggshells for nobody. You can give someone leeway if they've got a problem, but no one talks to me with disrespect." “Before me there was many, after me there will be none, I will not stop here until my work is done.” "I plan to go to gay bars so I can meet girls without competition" “Bring it straight to Victor and say what you've got to say.” "I first thought Emma had a face only a blind mother could love." "Time goes slower in here than Vanessa Feltz metabolism" On Emma “She’s like an animal, even a monkey has more brain power than her.” “I’m a contender, u know a champion, depending on how you come back shows how good a champion you are.” "Men don’t mind good looking lesbians" "I’m going to get ill if you keep giving me cold showers, I’ve got the sniffles already". Talking about the cameras “You Cant take a sht without a fibre optic camera pointing up your anus." “Fat women are like mopeds, they're both alright for a ride until your mates see you with them." "I always tell my friends when they get into arguments with old people, I stop them and say 'look, don't argue with this guy - he probably killed people in World War Two. 'He's killed before and he'll kill again!" Talking about his game plan "I’m gonna take my time ... make them think that I'm not a threat ... and then alpha-male them to death.” Victor (to Stu): "It's ok for you, you are gonna get your thing hard tonight... what kind of day have I had? I’ve walked in on Ahmed. (In the loo) not once, but twice... straining as he turns to look at me... what kind of a day is that?” “Let them have their mourning time... then I'm going after the rest of them [Nadia, Marco and Michelle]. If they came in here to have fun, they should have saved their time, gone to the funfair instead.” "Men can sleep around and get high 5s from their mates… But women get called slags in reality", "It is time to separate the wheat from the chaff, the weak from the boys.” “Let this be the first time the bad guy wins." “To be the man you got to beat the man. And I am the man.” "Better not drop the soap in the shower there are too many gay and bisexual guys in here.” “Let me give you some information... everyone in there still loves me! Why is that, people at home? ... I'm a loveable rogue. You can't help but like me - I grow on you like moss... it's just one of them things." “Nadia seems to have found a way of harnessing TRAPJAW'S (from He-Man) DNA and fusing it with her own to create some new being.” “I waged the war on terrorism and become the George Bush of this house and my administrative team doesn’t like terrorists.” “The first person I see booing me, I have a lung full of spit for them.” “Man I hate flip-flops, they mess wiv ma walk!” “Sometimes people take my kindness for my weakness.” “All I’ve got is my pride and my balls.” On Nadia “Sometimes I catch her looking at me from the corner of my eye, meaning she either fancies me or wants to kill me.” "If my son ain't outside here when I leave, I'm gonna jump over the barriers and catch the night bus home." “I thinks it’s about time we started mixing it up in here, get a bit fkin’ lively.” (Kicks Pillow) Nominating Dan "Dan A.k.a ‘Gandalf the Gay’ Its time for him to have a coke, a smile and get the f*k out of this house! “This house is already filled with enough village idiots without the new girl coming in.” Dan: I wouldn't know what to do if someone was having a panic attack. Victor: Don't you just give them a slap? Victor's theory on why BB put Becki in the House "She is opened to being banged" To Marco about his eviction “It’s kinda like we’re all different genres of film and that’s it’s too early for your genre to come off the shelf.” "I'm a chess player.....I make moves" “Marco when you get out watch the tape…Your being a bloody idiot now man.” “The only thing that they could have done to make Becki better is make her more attractive.” About school, "I Used to see my name scrawled on desks and I thought 'Woah! Those chicks wanna bang me!" About Becki "When I first saw her she looked rodent-like. I thought I might have to call Rentokil to sort this gaff out." “I don’t trust anybody but myself, coz when you put your trust in someone that’s when they go and do something stupid.” To big bro after taking his noms away "You left me like a sitting duck... 'cos it's hunting season," "I don't say much, and when I do say something that means it's serious," "I do more dirt than a mole, a worm. I play dirty. Everybody in here knows I do"

21-07-2004, 01:37	#2
thms Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Services: let anyone who invites me to dinner prosper Posts: 42,609	read this post earlier glad you posted them under a separate thread whilst some are indeed 'funny', there are several quotes to remind people why they should vote victor out on friday

21-07-2004, 02:18	#4
NoelRock Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 94	“Nadia a.k.a Hack Jaw a.k.a Mrs Jimmy Hill Jaw a.k.a Sink the f**king titanic with my jaw.” Best one methinks... was in hysterics when I read/heard this... Also: “Kitten is more wobbly than Rik Waller doing a belly dance on a three legged table.” Fab. Victor is the funny man of this season anyway.

22-07-2004, 10:10	#6
add1234 Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 179	U watch BB to much

22-07-2004, 10:13	#7
lulu Forum Member Join Date: May 2002 Services: Sky Digital, DSL etc Posts: 4,470	"I feel like I have just run over my kitten on my bike" - re his argument with Shell.

22-07-2004, 10:15	#8
Hamlet77 Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Liverpool. Champions of Europe Services: BT EIGHT MEG nose bleed fast, btmobile, Celebdaq = Vilnius Posts: 12,429	and you are a fan of Victor? Hardly Oscar Wilde is he? Too many of them sound like they've been rehearsed once too often.

22-07-2004, 10:29	#9
PR. Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bedford, UK Services: Freeview, SkyHD Multiroom, Virgin Media 20mb Broadband Posts: 2,191	Nothing beats this weeks nomination when he nominated Dan: "If we put Dan with ossama bin larden, Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat in a cave with a pot of Nutella there would be peace for years..."

22-07-2004, 10:30	#10
big_nadia_hater Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 52	Also my fav "She's as safe as the last piece of pizza at the celebrity Fat Farm" And "There's more buts than a nightclub ash tray" Another cracker is "Sits on more fences than worzel gummage"

22-07-2004, 10:32	#11
Kosar19 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 344	'Do you know who I am. Do you know who the f--- I am' Had me falling about that one.

22-07-2004, 23:11	#13
ontwofronts Posts: n/a	On Kitten in the diary room - "It's time to put the cat down... The vet is in session"

22-07-2004, 23:43	#15
onyx4 Forum Member Join Date: May 2002 Gender: Female Location: london Posts: 577	he said something like, "i like nadia, shes got balls," almost fell off the chair when he said that!

22-07-2004, 23:50	#16
robbies_gal Forum Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: At The Griffins Services: Sky+, virgin phone and broadband Posts: 18,586	i dont like him but the best one was can we have some bread and milk please-after his big up session