Funny Euphenisms - Chatter

missglitter · 26-07-2005, 21:35

Apologies in advance, this is appalling bad taste, but I'm having one of those days

Feel free to contribute your own favourites.

For Him;

Spurt Reynolds
Quarter pounder with cheese
Rodney Stickshift
Chi Zi Wang
Schlongmaster 2000
Vlad the Impaler
Hairy scary and the two bald men
Eight inches of throbbing pink Jesus
Charlie Russell the one-eyed muscle
Bow-legged swamp donkey

For Her;

Nature's Tufted-Treasure
Gasp and grunt
Front-parlor
Cupid's hotel
Bushy Park
Netherlands
Mount Pleasant
Miss Laycock
Hogsty of Venus
Handle for the broom
Hairyfordshire
Oyster-catcher
Palace of Pleasure
Nursery oat-bin

For His 'Special' Time;

Wrist aerobics
Windsurf on Mount Baldy
Free Willy
Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader's head
Hold the sausage hostage
Paint the ceiling
Shake hands with the unemployed

Snozzwangler · 26-07-2005, 21:59

And of course your name .... up the glitter

Ratinho · 26-07-2005, 22:05

The Octagon, plus James Westfalm and Dr. Kenneth Noisewauer.

Make it so · 26-07-2005, 22:09

My "joystick" in her "cockpit."

JJ2005 · 26-07-2005, 22:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by missglitter

Apologies in advance, this is appalling bad taste, but I'm having one of those days

Feel free to contribute your own favourites.

Please excuse my ignorance but I have no idea what you are talking about.

Are these favourite recipes and knitting patterns?

If yes, than my favourite recipe is Coq au Vin and my favourite knitting pattern is a purl necklace.

And during my special time I am very patriotic so I spend a lot of time polishing my flagpole in the hope that one day the Queen will come.

La Guardianista · 26-07-2005, 23:27

My friends and I use the term "Mi'lady" both to describe a certain all-important area of the female anatomy, for example "I do like him so Mi'lady is all ready for a big night out" and to describe the situation we women find ourselves in once a month, for example " I was stricken by Mi'lady and had to eat two slices of the apple pie"
We find it funny

missglitter · 26-07-2005, 23:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

My friends and I use the term "Mi'lady" both to describe a certain all-important area of the female anatomy, for example "I do like him so Mi'lady is all ready for a big night out" and to describe the situation we women find ourselves in once a month, for example " I was stricken by Mi'lady and had to eat two slices of the apple pie"
We find it funny

Classic

I like the fact that in Britain, even our gentalia can be defined by distinctions of class & social hierarchy.

I might opt for 'Mi'lady' myself, or perhaps even go one further - 'Her Majesty' perhaps?

La Guardianista · 27-07-2005, 00:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by missglitter

Classic

I like the fact that in Britain, even our gentalia can be defined by distinctions of class & social hierarchy.

I might opt for 'Mi'lady' myself, or perhaps even go one further - 'Her Majesty' perhaps?

You wouldn't want her to get above her station

Spearman · 27-07-2005, 15:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

My friends and I use the term "Mi'lady" both to describe a certain all-important area of the female anatomy, for example "I do like him so Mi'lady is all ready for a big night out"

I assume you Veet then?

missglitter · 27-07-2005, 15:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

You wouldn't want her to get above her station

True, I don't want her to get a big head

Or maybe that is what she's looking for...

jmclaugh · 27-07-2005, 15:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

My friends and I use the term "Mi'lady" both to describe a certain all-important area of the female anatomy, for example "I do like him so Mi'lady is all ready for a big night out" and to describe the situation we women find ourselves in once a month, for example " I was stricken by Mi'lady and had to eat two slices of the apple pie"
We find it funny

You could always just settle for Lady Penelope and spare a thought for Parker.

Spearman · 27-07-2005, 15:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by missglitter

True, I don't want her to get a big head

Or maybe that is what she's looking for...

Little Mr. Spearman says he can provide.

La Guardianista · 27-07-2005, 16:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spearman

I assume you Veet then?

Mi'Lady does not disclose beauty tips but likes to always look her best for a visitor

JJ2005 · 27-07-2005, 17:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

Mi'Lady does not disclose beauty tips but likes to always look her best for a visitor

If I press on the doorbell will I be allowed in?

La Guardianista · 27-07-2005, 17:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by JJ2005

If I press on the doorbell will I be allowed in?

Only if you recieved an invite, otherwise Mi'lady may instruct her footmen to deal with you appropriately

missglitter · 28-07-2005, 15:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

Only if you recieved an invite, otherwise Mi'lady may instruct her footmen to deal with you appropriately

Yes I agree with you, riff-raff do tend to flock to these these parts

Spearman · 28-07-2005, 18:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by missglitter

Yes I agree with you, riff-raff do tend to flock to these these parts

I'm not riff-raff!

And Master Spear is very well groomed, I'll have you know. Mi' Lady would like him.

Midspan · 28-07-2005, 18:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

eat two slices of the apple pie

OK, you'll have to explain that one.

Spearman · 28-07-2005, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midspan

OK, you'll have to explain that one.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who didn't understand!

Barnacle Bill · 28-07-2005, 18:25

Erm... peenaptic gush... vaglorious swoosh....?

La Guardianista · 28-07-2005, 18:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Midspan

OK, you'll have to explain that one.

It's quite difficult

...ok, I'll try

.
There's this apple pie, you see, cut into slices (with me so far?).
Because I'm feeling cr*p, I am literally forced by my hormones (it's not greed

) to eat two slices.
Therefore my Mi'Lady was the cause of the gluttonous pie eating.

missglitter · 07-08-2005, 15:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Guardianista

It's quite difficult

...ok, I'll try

.
There's this apple pie, you see, cut into slices (with me so far?).
Because I'm feeling cr*p, I am literally forced by my hormones (it's not greed

) to eat two slices.
Therefore my Mi'Lady was the cause of the gluttonous pie eating.

Right that's cleared that up then. But I still don't think I'll ever be able to look at apple pie in the same way again...

26-07-2005, 21:35	#1
missglitter Forum Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Limehouse, London Services: Only If You Ask Nicely Posts: 3,235	Funny Euphemisms Apologies in advance, this is appalling bad taste, but I'm having one of those days Feel free to contribute your own favourites. For Him; Spurt Reynolds Quarter pounder with cheese Rodney Stickshift Chi Zi Wang Schlongmaster 2000 Vlad the Impaler Hairy scary and the two bald men Eight inches of throbbing pink Jesus Charlie Russell the one-eyed muscle Bow-legged swamp donkey For Her; Nature's Tufted-Treasure Gasp and grunt Front-parlor Cupid's hotel Bushy Park Netherlands Mount Pleasant Miss Laycock Hogsty of Venus Handle for the broom Hairyfordshire Oyster-catcher Palace of Pleasure Nursery oat-bin For His 'Special' Time; Wrist aerobics Windsurf on Mount Baldy Free Willy Going Hans Solo on Darth Vader's head Hold the sausage hostage Paint the ceiling Shake hands with the unemployed Last edited by missglitter : 26-07-2005 at 21:50.

26-07-2005, 21:59	#2
Snozzwangler Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Betty landscaper Posts: 49,816	And of course your name .... up the glitter

26-07-2005, 22:05	#3
Ratinho Banned User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Puppies - Taste like Chicken Posts: 4,589	The Octagon, plus James Westfalm and Dr. Kenneth Noisewauer.

26-07-2005, 22:09	#4
Make it so Banned User Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Inside the M25. Help. Services: Wannabe broadwotsit, freeview, dab radio, gas, water, electricity, C of E. Posts: 159	My "joystick" in her "cockpit."

26-07-2005, 23:27	#6
La Guardianista Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: London Posts: 3,468	My friends and I use the term "Mi'lady" both to describe a certain all-important area of the female anatomy, for example "I do like him so Mi'lady is all ready for a big night out" and to describe the situation we women find ourselves in once a month, for example " I was stricken by Mi'lady and had to eat two slices of the apple pie" We find it funny

28-07-2005, 18:25	#20
Barnacle Bill Banned User Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Anchored off sunny Essex Services: Freeview, Sky, Tiscali Posts: 272	Erm... peenaptic gush... vaglorious swoosh....?