Etiquette rules for a civil partnership ceremony - General Discussion

hobbes · 26-01-2006, 15:45

Etiquette rules for a civil partnership ceremony

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My fantastic partner of nearly 15 years and I have decided to enter into a civil partnership this October.

We are keen to avoid a lot of the tradional wedding trimmings- bridesmaids and confetti are out- but we are struggling to agree on certain areas and unlike weddings, there are few guides etc to assist.

Both of us are fairly blokey blokes so we are keen to avoid any bride/groom stereotyping. However we can not agree the actual format of the ceremony. We don't really want to walk down the aisle separately or hand in hand and we don't see the need to be given away. On the other hand we don't really want to be in the room whilst our guests arrive.

Presents are another issue. we have a nice home and lack for nothing possession-wise. I feel money/vouchers is tacky and really just want a big party but I know friends and family will be confused if they have no direction.

what do other forum members think. I have attended other gay weddings but they have always mirrored straight ones.

trash80 · 26-01-2006, 15:55

my civil wedding had no "giving way" and it was in a room without an aisle. we had to be there when the guests arrived though as we and the witnesses had to go in first to give all the details to the registrar

i think you can have it how you like, its all quite flexible

have a nice day!

chitarivera · 26-01-2006, 15:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobbes

Etiquette rules for a civil partnership ceremony

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My fantastic partner of nearly 15 years and I have decided to enter into a civil partnership this October.

We are keen to avoid a lot of the tradional wedding trimmings- bridesmaids and confetti are out- but we are struggling to agree on certain areas and unlike weddings, there are few guides etc to assist.

Both of us are fairly blokey blokes so we are keen to avoid any bride/groom stereotyping. However we can not agree the actual format of the ceremony. We don't really want to walk down the aisle separately or hand in hand and we don't see the need to be given away. On the other hand we don't really want to be in the room whilst our guests arrive.

Presents are another issue. we have a nice home and lack for nothing possession-wise. I feel money/vouchers is tacky and really just want a big party but I know friends and family will be confused if they have no direction.

what do other forum members think. I have attended other gay weddings but they have always mirrored straight ones.

I think you are the poineers of this type of ceremony, therefore you can set the precedent.

Do it however you want! Just make sure the cake is nice and moist. There's nowt worse than a dry fruit cake!

And Congratulations.

maybe · 26-01-2006, 15:59

I was at a Civil Partnership ceremony recently and the couple were in a similar situation to you, present-wise.

Instead of asking for gifts, they produced a list of options which suggested a mixture of practical help they needed (e.g. someone to dog-sit while they went on holiday after the wedding) and charities they'd like people to donate money to.

It worked very well.

hobbes · 26-01-2006, 16:03

we are having the ceremony and evening do in Manchester town hall so I would like a mixture of formal and unconventional-just not sure how to make the mix work.

As for presents we are thinking about requesting bottles- we can drink the contents, cellar them, bath in them or cook with them. That means guests can bring a bottle of cheap wine or some olive oil or splash out on an bottle of bubbly or a vintage red.

PamelaL · 26-01-2006, 16:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by hobbes

As for presents we are thinking about requesting bottles- we can drink the contents, cellar them, bath in them or cook with them. That means guests can bring a bottle of cheap wine or some olive oil or splash out on an bottle of bubbly or a vintage red.

That is an absolutely brilliant idea. I'd definitely go for that.

jesaya · 26-01-2006, 16:06

Ahh go for sponge cake.. much nicer.

We are having the same debate. Current plan is to simply walk down opposite sides of the room and meet in the middle. It is difficult to know how else to do it, short of using a matter-transporter.

We are going to have a wedding list - like you we have most of the stuff we need so are going to include a replacement dinner service (as we do need this), some decorative items, and some charitable gifts (donkeys etc).

I think it is fun playing pick and mix with the traditions, and adding our own... for example instead of reading out telegrams we are going to do impressions of people when we told them we were getting married

26-01-2006, 16:09

First of all, congratulations to you both.

If you have everything you want and need, then perhaps you could ask your guests to donate some money to a charity of your choice?

hobbes · 26-01-2006, 16:11

We are also not having Cars etc. I think the plan is just to walk to the town Hall although seen as the wedding is four pm on a Friday I might feel a bit self-concious. Hi Jesaya. How are you?

26-01-2006, 15:45	#1
hobbes Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sunny Manchester Posts: 4,406	Etiquette rules for a civil partnership ceremony Etiquette rules for a civil partnership ceremony -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My fantastic partner of nearly 15 years and I have decided to enter into a civil partnership this October. We are keen to avoid a lot of the tradional wedding trimmings- bridesmaids and confetti are out- but we are struggling to agree on certain areas and unlike weddings, there are few guides etc to assist. Both of us are fairly blokey blokes so we are keen to avoid any bride/groom stereotyping. However we can not agree the actual format of the ceremony. We don't really want to walk down the aisle separately or hand in hand and we don't see the need to be given away. On the other hand we don't really want to be in the room whilst our guests arrive. Presents are another issue. we have a nice home and lack for nothing possession-wise. I feel money/vouchers is tacky and really just want a big party but I know friends and family will be confused if they have no direction. what do other forum members think. I have attended other gay weddings but they have always mirrored straight ones.

26-01-2006, 15:55	#2
trash80 Banned User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: B'ham / Metro Manila Services: Telewest TV, Phone & BB, DAB Posts: 20,752	my civil wedding had no "giving way" and it was in a room without an aisle. we had to be there when the guests arrived though as we and the witnesses had to go in first to give all the details to the registrar i think you can have it how you like, its all quite flexible have a nice day!

26-01-2006, 15:59	#4
maybe Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2002 Gender: Not specified Location: UK Posts: 4,068	I was at a Civil Partnership ceremony recently and the couple were in a similar situation to you, present-wise. Instead of asking for gifts, they produced a list of options which suggested a mixture of practical help they needed (e.g. someone to dog-sit while they went on holiday after the wedding) and charities they'd like people to donate money to. It worked very well.

26-01-2006, 16:03	#5
hobbes Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sunny Manchester Posts: 4,406	we are having the ceremony and evening do in Manchester town hall so I would like a mixture of formal and unconventional-just not sure how to make the mix work. As for presents we are thinking about requesting bottles- we can drink the contents, cellar them, bath in them or cook with them. That means guests can bring a bottle of cheap wine or some olive oil or splash out on an bottle of bubbly or a vintage red.

26-01-2006, 16:06	#7
jesaya Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: My green valley in South Wales Services: Liberal and Proud Posts: 15,537	Ahh go for sponge cake.. much nicer. We are having the same debate. Current plan is to simply walk down opposite sides of the room and meet in the middle. It is difficult to know how else to do it, short of using a matter-transporter. We are going to have a wedding list - like you we have most of the stuff we need so are going to include a replacement dinner service (as we do need this), some decorative items, and some charitable gifts (donkeys etc). I think it is fun playing pick and mix with the traditions, and adding our own... for example instead of reading out telegrams we are going to do impressions of people when we told them we were getting married

26-01-2006, 16:09	#8
bob.bobsta Posts: n/a	First of all, congratulations to you both. If you have everything you want and need, then perhaps you could ask your guests to donate some money to a charity of your choice?

26-01-2006, 16:11	#9
hobbes Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sunny Manchester Posts: 4,406	We are also not having Cars etc. I think the plan is just to walk to the town Hall although seen as the wedding is four pm on a Friday I might feel a bit self-concious. Hi Jesaya. How are you?