Hollyoaks fan fiction. - Soaps

Hippyste · 19-09-2006, 20:51

I can't take credit for this masterpiece - my sister wrote it.

Hollyoaks

Scene One - The Barnes' Household

Sarah: It's just one thing after another, isn't it?
Kathy: What do you mean, my little tadpole?
Sarah: I wish you wouldn't call me that. Especially in front of my boyfriend.
Gilly: I don't mind Sarah.
Kathy: So Gilly, do you support Man United?
(Gilly storms out of the house in a violent rage)
Sarah: Mother! Why must you always ruin my life! I hate you. (Runs off to room).
(Amy appears from around door looking miserable).
Amy: It is just one thing after another.
Kathy: It is, my youngest child.
Amy: Why don't you have a stupid nickname for me? Don't you love me?
Kathy: No! Not as much as my little tadpole.
Amy: Why not?
Kathy: Because you're a disappointment.
Amy: Because I've never had an affair with my daughter's boyfriend and blackmailed him into dumping my little tadpole, because it's best for her, or because I'm never got together with a creep who either takes pictures of me in my underpants and sells them to lads mags because I went out with his best friend, or I'm called Gilly and storm out of the house because someone calls me a Man United Fan. That's what you have to do to be a member of this family!
Kathy: Go to your room!
Amy: I hate you!
(Mikes enters dancing with a bunch of daffodils, singing zibadeedoodar)
Mike: Everything alright girls?
(Amy runs off crying)
Kathy: Teenagers huh?
Mike: Light of my life, I have decided to become a gypsy.
Kathy: There is something you must know.
Mike: Nothing could spoil my beautiful mood.
Kathy: I had an affair with Rhys.
(Mike storms off and walks out of house, carrying a shotgun).

Scene two

Becca: Do I have to ask for a snog from my jail bait boyfriend?
Justin: Of course not.
(They snog)
(Jake storms in with shotgun)
Becca: I saw Mike with one of those before. They must be selling 'em down at Drive 'n' Buy.
Justin: Have you come to torch the sofa as well?
Jake: Oh sorry wrong address. I was looking for Rhys.
He short-changed me!
(leaves)

Scene three:

(Rhys is sitting in Drive 'n' Buy)

Rhys: I lost half the stock, the till broke, and I trod in a puddle on the way here. My day just couldn't get any worse. Oh hi Mike! Jake my old pal!
(Jake and Mike enter)
Mike: A word please Rhys.
Jake: I would like to put in my two-pence worth. Exactly two pence!
Rhys: So what's that about then?

Hippyste · 20-09-2006, 21:00

A sequel might be on the way...

19-09-2006, 20:51	#1
Hippyste Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,339	Hollyoaks fan fiction. I can't take credit for this masterpiece - my sister wrote it. Hollyoaks Scene One - The Barnes' Household Sarah: It's just one thing after another, isn't it? Kathy: What do you mean, my little tadpole? Sarah: I wish you wouldn't call me that. Especially in front of my boyfriend. Gilly: I don't mind Sarah. Kathy: So Gilly, do you support Man United? (Gilly storms out of the house in a violent rage) Sarah: Mother! Why must you always ruin my life! I hate you. (Runs off to room). (Amy appears from around door looking miserable). Amy: It is just one thing after another. Kathy: It is, my youngest child. Amy: Why don't you have a stupid nickname for me? Don't you love me? Kathy: No! Not as much as my little tadpole. Amy: Why not? Kathy: Because you're a disappointment. Amy: Because I've never had an affair with my daughter's boyfriend and blackmailed him into dumping my little tadpole, because it's best for her, or because I'm never got together with a creep who either takes pictures of me in my underpants and sells them to lads mags because I went out with his best friend, or I'm called Gilly and storm out of the house because someone calls me a Man United Fan. That's what you have to do to be a member of this family! Kathy: Go to your room! Amy: I hate you! (Mikes enters dancing with a bunch of daffodils, singing zibadeedoodar) Mike: Everything alright girls? (Amy runs off crying) Kathy: Teenagers huh? Mike: Light of my life, I have decided to become a gypsy. Kathy: There is something you must know. Mike: Nothing could spoil my beautiful mood. Kathy: I had an affair with Rhys. (Mike storms off and walks out of house, carrying a shotgun). Scene two Becca: Do I have to ask for a snog from my jail bait boyfriend? Justin: Of course not. (They snog) (Jake storms in with shotgun) Becca: I saw Mike with one of those before. They must be selling 'em down at Drive 'n' Buy. Justin: Have you come to torch the sofa as well? Jake: Oh sorry wrong address. I was looking for Rhys. He short-changed me! (leaves) Scene three: (Rhys is sitting in Drive 'n' Buy) Rhys: I lost half the stock, the till broke, and I trod in a puddle on the way here. My day just couldn't get any worse. Oh hi Mike! Jake my old pal! (Jake and Mike enter) Mike: A word please Rhys. Jake: I would like to put in my two-pence worth. Exactly two pence! Rhys: So what's that about then? Last edited by Hippyste : 19-09-2006 at 20:58.

20-09-2006, 21:00	#2
Hippyste Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,339	A sequel might be on the way...