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23-12-2006, 18:36
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#1 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 168
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My Hollyoaks Christmas Script 2007
This is my script for hollyoaks christmas 2007, enjoy please get back to me and tell me if you like it and tell me what i could improve and i will get back to you, Thankyou.
Christmas morning starts off with The McQueens all asleep apart from Carmel who has just gone to the loo and she sees Russ and Mercedes asleep, Russ turns over and sees Carmel. The scence changes to Tony in bed and there is a knock on the door, he answers it to find, Mandy. Tony: Mandy? Mandy: Hi, Tony can we talk?... Scene changes back to The McQueen household. Myra: Merry christmas you lot go on open your presants all of you! Tina holds up some slippers. Tina: I have got some you know? Why the hell would i need another pair. Carmel: If you don't want them i will Tina: No, it's fine what have you Mercedes? Mercedes: A book!!, what am i gonna do with a flamming book!!! Jacqui: Ever tried reading Mercedes (with a smug look on her face) Mercedes: I'm gonna kill you!!! Myra: Those girls. The scene changes to Tony and Mandy, sitting down Tony: Why are you here Mandy? Mandy: I'm here because i miss you, i miss you so so much Tony i realised that by now Grance would have been two years old, and i know we can't change the past but i do love you. And we are not seeing anyone are we? Tony looks the other way. Mandy: Tony what is it? Tony: Mandy it's too late now i am with someone. Mandy looks upset. Mandy: Who is she? Tony: Jacqui McQueen Mandy: A McQueen sister i should of known well i better go. She leaves for the door. Scene changes to Russ coming out of the bathroom and Carmel is there. Carmel: Trying to avoid me? Russ: You know i can never do that. Russ grabs Carmel and they kiss. Carmel: We have to tell them Russ: I know after dinner, i promise They both kiss and go downstairs. Scene changes to Mandy out on the street, she looks around and a taxi comes to pick her up, she gets in. Taxi driver: Where to? Mandy: The church please The taxi drives off as Tony sees Mandy leaving through his window. The scene changes to the McQueen household, they are all around the table, Russ sits next to Mercede and Carmel is sitting opposite to Russ. Myra: Right everyone i'd like to propose a toast to a happy christmas and a great new year looking ahead of us all. Carmel and Russ look at each other. Carmel: Actually i would like to say something Everyone looks. Myra: What is it love? Russ: It's about me, me and Carmel Mercedes: What? Carmel: We are in love Mercedes: You dirty little slut get off his hand. Carmel: No!! Mercedes and Carmel start to fight. The scene changes to Tony getting into his car and driving off to find Mandy, Mandy is now at the church and she visits Grace's grave. Mandy: Here you go sweetheart, happy christmas. Daddy isn't here he had to do something but don't worry Mummy will always come and see my favourite little girl. She steps back and trips up on another gravestone, only to be suprised that it is Max's!!!!!!!!!!!! At the McQueen's tension is rising and Russ pulls Carmel away. Myra: Break up you too right now!! Mercedes reaches for Carmel goes for a hit, but she gets Myra! Russ: Right that's it Mercedes, out. Mercedes: What Russ: Out now!!!!!!! Myra gets up and has blood running down her mouth. Myra: Just go now Mercedes Mercedes: Fine, but you have not seen the last of me. Scene changes to Mandy, Tony sees Mandy at Max's grave Tony: I was ment to tell you Mandy: How, why Tony: Something happened quite a while back Mandy: I can't believe this is happening, right well i have to go. Tony: No Mandy i am not leaving you like this Mandy: I am fine Mandy goes into the Taxi and she is gone, Tony is left devestaded and alone, he then heads to the McQueen household. Scene changes to the McQueens. Carmel: You okay mum? Myra: Yeah fine thanks love, Mercedes is gone hasn't she Carmel nods Myra: Thank god Jacqui: So you two, really are going out then? Russ: Yeah we are i love you Carmel Carmel: I love you too They kiss and everyone smiles. A knock on the door and Jacqui opens, Tony is stood crying. Jacqui: Tony? Tony: Jacqui i am so glad your hear move in with me Jacqui: What? Tony: Move in with me Jacqui: Yes, yes i will. Tony and Jacqui go off, Myra and everyone waves. Myra: Bye love, see you later. The scene changes to Mandy at the airport. Mandy: Bye Bye Chester. |
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23-12-2006, 18:59
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#2 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Derby
Services: Sky+, Freeview
Posts: 127
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hmmm, good ideas but with Tom and evrything. Mandy would know about Max (she is supposed to be returning for his funeral (if he dies) I'm not sure Russ would be stupid enough to cheat on Mercdeds with her sister and everyone be smiling about it after Mercedes runs off, just my opinion, some good ideas there definately
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23-12-2006, 19:01
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#3 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 168
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Thank you for the comment
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25-12-2006, 18:48
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#4 | |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 95
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Quote:
I'm sorry the script was unbeliveable and Russ is very in love with Mercedes! He would never fall for Carmel and Myra would'nt be happy if Carmel and Russ got together and they woudnt "smile" when they kissed for a start Myra would kick Carmel and Russ out! Not welcome them in with open arms and Carmel would not do that to Mercedes! 
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25-12-2006, 22:53
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#5 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Defying Gravity
Posts: 181
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i thought it was quite good... russ does suit Carmel more than Mercedes... although, i have to say the one bit i did not like was the present opening bit...
oh... and maybe change the ending a bit too... although i dunno what you could do with it.... anyways... keep it up... these scripts are quite amusing to read  ~:C:~ |
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31-12-2006, 22:18
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#6 |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 95
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This script is the shittest script I've ever read!!
Its like a 3 year olds!  
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01-01-2007, 02:04
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#7 | |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: On my soapbox
Posts: 4,021
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Quote:
I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate someone giving your scripts this type of feedback. |
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01-01-2007, 02:07
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#8 | |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,639
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Quote:
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01-01-2007, 15:59
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#9 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,114
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i thought it was good.... but you know hollyoaks, half these charachters will be gone nxt year!
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01-01-2007, 16:16
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#10 |
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Forum Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Walsall, Westmids
Posts: 1,046
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i think its got potential, some good ideas but need building on. a good start though IMO
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06-01-2007, 20:00
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#11 | |
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Banned User
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 95
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Quote:
My reply is already in my name... And if you saw my first comment it was very nice Yiu should of SEEN the message she left ME! After I put that it was unrealistic! What she said was something I wouldnt of said to my abusive ex boyfriend who nearly beat me too death!
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