Strictly Sun Hill - Strictly Come Dancing

Quizmike · 10-01-2007, 14:17

In celebration of Louisa landing the part of Beth Green in the Bill (and apologies to the lovely little Lousia!)

LOCATION : Sun Hill police station. PC Reg Hollis is behind the reception desk when a girl approaches…

Reg: Ah, hello young lady. How can I help you? Have you lost your doggy?

Beth: Eh?

Reg: Or have you left your schoolbag on the bus? Shall I call your mummy to pick you up?

Beth: Er, no mate. I work here

Reg (looking puzzled): I’m sorry?

Beth: No need to be. I’m the new probay…probaysh…

Reg: Probationer?

Beth (shrugging): Yeah, what you said. And I was told to report here this morning.

Reg (picking up the phone): I think that there must be some mistake. What’s your name?

Beth: My name’s Ruby. No…it’s Loui…no Beff!

Reg: Begging your pardon?

Beth: Beff!

Reg: Oh, Beth. Hold on a moment. (into the phone) Hello Sarge? I’ve got a young lady here who says that she is starting at Sun Hill today. Her name is Beth…that’s Bravo, Echo, Tango…

Beth: Oh, the Tango? I love the Tango…it’s one of my favourites (starts to bounce around the reception humming the Eurythmics)

Reg: What are you doing Miss?

Beth (imitating Arlene): Sweet dreams are made of THIS!

Reg (into the phone): Oh, sorry Sarge…what?...you must be joking…but what age do you…oh, ok…but don’t you have to be a certain height….oh, right. OK, thank you Sarge. (hangs up). Well, my apologies Miss. It seems that the script…sorry Sergeant has confirmed what you said.

Beth: Told you! (looks around and points at a door) So, is that the rehearsal room then?

Reg: No, that’s the interview room.

Beth (excited): Ooh, is that where Tess is then?

Reg: Um…

Beth: Or Claudia? I love Claudia. She’s so funny. And really lovely shoes.

Reg (looking confused): Right you are then. Anyway, first thing is for you to meet your partner.

Beth (nearly exploding with excitement): VINCENT!!!! Is he here? Oh, I love him so much. Where is he?

Reg: Er…there’s nobody called Vincent here Miss.

Beth: Oh no. Have you set me up with someone else then? I don’t mind Ian, but he’s a bit tall for me.

Reg: Ian who?

Beth: Waite!

(they both stare at each other for about 20 seconds)

Reg: Well Miss?

Beth: Well what?

Reg: What are we waiting for?

Beth: ‘Ere, you’re a bit mental, ain’t you?

Reg: Anyway Miss, what I meant was your partner on the beat.

Beth: Oh, I’m really good on the beat. And off it. I’m brilliant at syncopating. Bruno said so.

Reg (even more confused): No Miss, your police partner.

Beth: Eh?

Reg: Police. You know? Old Bill?

Beth (excited): Yeah, I know him. Me and Vincent did Breakfast with him a couple of weeks ago. He’s lovely. I wouldn’t call him that old though. Not like Len or Brucie.

Reg: Miss…

Beth: Is he going to be my partner then? I didn’t know he was still dancing. Is his foot all better?

Reg (exasperated): Miss, you don’t really know where you are, do you?

Beth: Um…no…

Reg: The Bill?

Beth (after a pause): But I ain’t bought anything.

Reg (throws his pen down): Miss, you know how you love dancing so much?

Beth (grinning): Yeah?

Reg: Well, Foxtrot Off!

Mel G · 10-01-2007, 14:20

Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will direct some traffic over from GMR.

quackaquacka · 10-01-2007, 14:22

That's brilliant!

Snippy · 10-01-2007, 14:26

Fantastic!

ramprakaz · 10-01-2007, 14:32

out of the top drawer!!

Mel@lemmie · 10-01-2007, 14:36

LOL awesome

77amy77 · 10-01-2007, 14:41

So funny!

MontyD · 10-01-2007, 14:44

Brilliant

Force Ten · 10-01-2007, 14:49

Very very funny. I've said it before - you should either write a book or be a scriptwriter!

sam3 · 10-01-2007, 15:06

Really really good!

Quizmike · 10-01-2007, 15:30

Thank you all so much. You are all lovely and kind here

I'm a bit scared now...I've tried one out over in the BB forum (the Goodeys were not the first choice). Dunno how it will go down. I'm hoping I don't get ripped to shreds!!!

SlinkyMalinky · 10-01-2007, 15:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by Force Ten

Very very funny. I've said it before - you should either write a book or be a scriptwriter!

Yes, QuizMike - you have a wonderful talent. Do you submit your stuff to the BBC - radio,tv etc - cos you SHOULD! I love writing (or the written equivalent of my interminable yakking) and I'm 'supposed' to be funny but I couldn't BEGIN to do anything as clever or as well-structured as this. It's excellent

Kez100 · 10-01-2007, 15:47

LOL

I had hoped that she may go toward the dancing/theatre angle after SCD rather than fall into the big wheel hamster trap of the soap opera...oh well

Cat123 · 10-01-2007, 15:49

Haha, marvellous. And completely justified. She is too young!!!

Pingman · 10-01-2007, 15:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlinkyMalinky

Yes, QuizMike - you have a wonderful talent. Do you submit your stuff to the BBC - radio,tv etc - cos you SHOULD! I love writing (or the written equivalent of my interminable yakking) and I'm 'supposed' to be funny but I couldn't BEGIN to do anything as clever or as well-structured as this. It's excellent

I agree 1000%! You should make a career out of this!

Dave

Coronis · 10-01-2007, 17:19

LMAO!! So funny! Tres witty QM!

Kevnaldo · 10-01-2007, 17:24

Lol Soo funny

cc4tom · 10-01-2007, 19:09

*Reg: Police. You know? Old Bill?

Beth (excited): Yeah, I know him. Me and Vincent did Breakfast with him a couple of weeks ago. He’s lovely. I wouldn’t call him that old though. Not like Len or Brucie. *

Excellent stuff!

CAMBER · 10-01-2007, 19:10

Brilliant!!!!

SunderlandGirly · 10-01-2007, 19:19

Please carry on with this it is brill lol

harchester4eva · 10-01-2007, 19:27

that was really funny, i hate when im on my own and start laughing i feel like a freak!

arddunol · 10-01-2007, 19:34

da iawn !

very funny

allyfree · 10-01-2007, 19:36

Don't remember ever watching The Bill...... but I would never miss it if it was this good

McDancin' Feet · 11-01-2007, 10:33

Never watched The Bill in my life - that was superb

stfrench · 17-02-2007, 13:26

Quizmike, that was hilarious! I loved it!
I think lovely little Louisa would love it too and have a good giggle!

xx

10-01-2007, 14:17	#1
Quizmike Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,758 Blog Entries: 2	Strictly Sun Hill In celebration of Louisa landing the part of Beth Green in the Bill (and apologies to the lovely little Lousia!) LOCATION : Sun Hill police station. PC Reg Hollis is behind the reception desk when a girl approaches… Reg: Ah, hello young lady. How can I help you? Have you lost your doggy? Beth: Eh? Reg: Or have you left your schoolbag on the bus? Shall I call your mummy to pick you up? Beth: Er, no mate. I work here Reg (looking puzzled): I’m sorry? Beth: No need to be. I’m the new probay…probaysh… Reg: Probationer? Beth (shrugging): Yeah, what you said. And I was told to report here this morning. Reg (picking up the phone): I think that there must be some mistake. What’s your name? Beth: My name’s Ruby. No…it’s Loui…no Beff! Reg: Begging your pardon? Beth: Beff! Reg: Oh, Beth. Hold on a moment. (into the phone) Hello Sarge? I’ve got a young lady here who says that she is starting at Sun Hill today. Her name is Beth…that’s Bravo, Echo, Tango… Beth: Oh, the Tango? I love the Tango…it’s one of my favourites (starts to bounce around the reception humming the Eurythmics) Reg: What are you doing Miss? Beth (imitating Arlene): Sweet dreams are made of THIS! Reg (into the phone): Oh, sorry Sarge…what?...you must be joking…but what age do you…oh, ok…but don’t you have to be a certain height….oh, right. OK, thank you Sarge. (hangs up). Well, my apologies Miss. It seems that the script…sorry Sergeant has confirmed what you said. Beth: Told you! (looks around and points at a door) So, is that the rehearsal room then? Reg: No, that’s the interview room. Beth (excited): Ooh, is that where Tess is then? Reg: Um… Beth: Or Claudia? I love Claudia. She’s so funny. And really lovely shoes. Reg (looking confused): Right you are then. Anyway, first thing is for you to meet your partner. Beth (nearly exploding with excitement): VINCENT!!!! Is he here? Oh, I love him so much. Where is he? Reg: Er…there’s nobody called Vincent here Miss. Beth: Oh no. Have you set me up with someone else then? I don’t mind Ian, but he’s a bit tall for me. Reg: Ian who? Beth: Waite! (they both stare at each other for about 20 seconds) Reg: Well Miss? Beth: Well what? Reg: What are we waiting for? Beth: ‘Ere, you’re a bit mental, ain’t you? Reg: Anyway Miss, what I meant was your partner on the beat. Beth: Oh, I’m really good on the beat. And off it. I’m brilliant at syncopating. Bruno said so. Reg (even more confused): No Miss, your police partner. Beth: Eh? Reg: Police. You know? Old Bill? Beth (excited): Yeah, I know him. Me and Vincent did Breakfast with him a couple of weeks ago. He’s lovely. I wouldn’t call him that old though. Not like Len or Brucie. Reg: Miss… Beth: Is he going to be my partner then? I didn’t know he was still dancing. Is his foot all better? Reg (exasperated): Miss, you don’t really know where you are, do you? Beth: Um…no… Reg: The Bill? Beth (after a pause): But I ain’t bought anything. Reg (throws his pen down): Miss, you know how you love dancing so much? Beth (grinning): Yeah? Reg: Well, Foxtrot Off!

10-01-2007, 14:20	#2
Mel G Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxfordshire Posts: 5,033	Excellent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will direct some traffic over from GMR. Last edited by Mel G : 10-01-2007 at 14:22.

10-01-2007, 14:22	#3
quackaquacka Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Preparing for The Fishcake War Services: Shoelace tying, meditation, following SatNav instructions and Going West Posts: 9,166	That's brilliant!

10-01-2007, 14:26	#4
Snippy Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Gender: Not specified Location: Wardrobe lady at the Adelphi Posts: 16,509	Fantastic!

10-01-2007, 14:32	#5
ramprakaz Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Wrapped round Mark's finger Services: Smoothin' Posts: 3,601	out of the top drawer!!

10-01-2007, 14:36	#6
Mel@lemmie Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: brendans heart ... Posts: 1,663	LOL awesome

10-01-2007, 14:41	#7
77amy77 Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Manchester Services: Sky Digital Posts: 3,462	So funny!

10-01-2007, 14:44	#8
MontyD Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 2,053	Brilliant

10-01-2007, 14:49	#9
Force Ten Forum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: West London Services: PA to HRH Posts: 5,640	Very very funny. I've said it before - you should either write a book or be a scriptwriter!

10-01-2007, 15:06	#10
sam3 Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: mcdonalds! Services: awaiting news of her beloved Posts: 7,009	Really really good!

10-01-2007, 15:30	#11
Quizmike Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,758 Blog Entries: 2	Thank you all so much. You are all lovely and kind here I'm a bit scared now...I've tried one out over in the BB forum (the Goodeys were not the first choice). Dunno how it will go down. I'm hoping I don't get ripped to shreds!!!

10-01-2007, 15:47	#13
Kez100 Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 2,806	LOL I had hoped that she may go toward the dancing/theatre angle after SCD rather than fall into the big wheel hamster trap of the soap opera...oh well

10-01-2007, 15:49	#14
Cat123 Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,631	Haha, marvellous. And completely justified. She is too young!!!

10-01-2007, 17:19	#16
Coronis Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: flying again! Services: Wearing stilettos and bouncing away! Posts: 22,353	LMAO!! So funny! Tres witty QM!

10-01-2007, 17:24	#17
Kevnaldo Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Big Brother House Services: BT Broadband, Sky +, Sky, Xbox360, Nintendo Wii. Posts: 3,401	Lol Soo funny

10-01-2007, 19:09	#18
cc4tom Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: harmiplunkyhoggybroadysibo Services: Going to the foot of our stairs Posts: 3,278	Reg: Police. You know? Old Bill? Beth (excited): Yeah, I know him. Me and Vincent did Breakfast with him a couple of weeks ago. He’s lovely. I wouldn’t call him that old though. Not like Len or Brucie. Excellent stuff!

10-01-2007, 19:10	#19
CAMBER Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Brent Cross! Services: address finder! Posts: 7,928	Brilliant!!!!

10-01-2007, 19:19	#20
SunderlandGirly Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,283	Please carry on with this it is brill lol

10-01-2007, 19:27	#21
harchester4eva Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Gender: Female Location: on my chair Services: virgin media tv, phone and broadband Posts: 202	that was really funny, i hate when im on my own and start laughing i feel like a freak!

10-01-2007, 19:34	#22
arddunol Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Services: Keeping the GMR flag flying Posts: 12,113	da iawn ! very funny

10-01-2007, 19:36	#23
allyfree Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Propping up Bar Cutler Posts: 2,211	Don't remember ever watching The Bill...... but I would never miss it if it was this good

11-01-2007, 10:33	#24
McDancin' Feet Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 653	Never watched The Bill in my life - that was superb

17-02-2007, 13:26	#25
stfrench Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Still loving Vincent lots.... Services: But falling hard for young Mr Fortuna :) Posts: 2,670	Quizmike, that was hilarious! I loved it! I think lovely little Louisa would love it too and have a good giggle! xx