It was the Devil made me do it. - General Discussion

Tony Hendrix · 30-03-2007, 21:41

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.
And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that?
And Man said "Yes!"
And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".
And so they gained 10 pounds.
And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.
So God said "Try my fresh green salad".
And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter.
And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition.
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt.
And Man put on more pounds.
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.
Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, and extra large size please".
And Satan said "It is good."
And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.
And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service - where you have to wait years for your turn to get free surgery.
THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

30-03-2007, 21:47

Pmsl very funny

louisa320 · 30-03-2007, 21:49

LMAO.........That is classic. Made me laugh on a boring Friday night in !

raven810 · 30-03-2007, 21:50

me too. thanks for the giggles

Dominatrix_Bex · 30-03-2007, 21:50

Does anyone else just feel hungry for junk food now?

ludovica · 30-03-2007, 22:29

I love that!

Tony Hendrix · 31-03-2007, 11:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominatrix_Bex

Does anyone else just feel hungry for junk food now?

I'm just after eating a HUGE KFC and it's only early afternoon,now for a fry up...........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BlK62rjQWLk

Havelock Vetinari · 31-03-2007, 12:00

That is superb. Good for a laugh, and pretty much true, sadly.

30-03-2007, 21:41	#1
Tony Hendrix Banned User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Motherwell. Services: VM tv/broadband/phone. Posts: 887	It was the Devil made me do it. In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said "Yes!" And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips". And so they gained 10 pounds. And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14. So God said "Try my fresh green salad". And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast. God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them". And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds. God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits. Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger. Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, and extra large size please". And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery. And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service - where you have to wait years for your turn to get free surgery. THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

30-03-2007, 21:49	#3
louisa320 Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,568	LMAO.........That is classic. Made me laugh on a boring Friday night in !

30-03-2007, 21:50	#4
raven810 Forum Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 422	me too. thanks for the giggles

30-03-2007, 21:50	#5
Dominatrix_Bex Banned User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Sheffieldland Services: I provide many Posts: 2,537	Does anyone else just feel hungry for junk food now?

30-03-2007, 22:29	#6
ludovica Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Hampshire Posts: 25,097	I love that!

31-03-2007, 12:00	#8
Havelock Vetinari Forum Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Mended Drum Services: Scorpion Pit Posts: 12,895	That is superb. Good for a laugh, and pretty much true, sadly.