selfish bride and groom. - General Discussion

Mickey Blue · 02-05-2007, 03:35

my sister is getting married in june this year, well both sets of parents were looking forward to the ceremony, reception ect until my selfish sister and her dopey soon to be hubby dropped a bombshell.They have decided to go to the carribean to get married along with only their friends as guests, neither set of parents or family are invited to attend.
Well as you will guess this has caused no end of arguments now that the parents have been told they have to stump up for the holiday,ceremony, outfits and the costs of 12 bloody mates, my mom and dad are adamant that they will never part with a penny towards the costs,and his parents are in total agreement with mine.Well sis and dopey have now said they have taken legal advice and that the parents have to pay, his dad said bollocks sue us but you will be laughed out of court, now it gets better they have a wedding list and have demanded it be fullfilled from the family on both sides or it will be seen as a snub to them.
My opinion is that if you want to get married then fine but dont expect parents to foot the bill if you are going to be selfish and ignorant, my other half said she would have deserved a slap for behaving like my sis, but is this how young wannabe marrieds are going to be like from now on.

p.s this is not a wind up

krytas · 02-05-2007, 04:03

WOW!!! I haven't heard of anything so bad in a long time. If they decided to go OS and get married and have a party, then they should pay for it. I think it is really rude to believe that the parents will and SHOULD pay for it.
Tell them to have some decency and give the parents a break.
I also think this idea of getting married OS is giving the families a clear message of what the bride and groom think of them. Are they not good enough to attend the wedding or only good enough to pay for it. Bloody cheek!!

Personally, I would tell them to bugger off, get married and leave the families alone.

PS Just to let you know that my OH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, that included both sets of parents, and a total of 65 guests. It cost us $6000 dollars (2500 pounds)+plus week's honeymoon on a tropical island.
Granted it was 10 years ago, but with the amount they would spend on the marriage OS, they could have a great wedding at home without alienatiing anyone.

By the way, how old are they?

kmac · 02-05-2007, 04:10

Legally the parents are not obliged to pay anything at all.
As for wedding presents, give them a £5 Argos voucher.

Smeggypants · 02-05-2007, 04:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickey Blue

my sister is getting married in june this year, well both sets of parents were looking forward to the ceremony, reception ect until my selfish sister and her dopey soon to be hubby dropped a bombshell.They have decided to go to the carribean to get married along with only their friends as guests, neither set of parents or family are invited to attend.
Well as you will guess this has caused no end of arguments now that the parents have been told they have to stump up for the holiday,ceremony, outfits and the costs of 12 bloody mates, my mom and dad are adamant that they will never part with a penny towards the costs,and his parents are in total agreement with mine.Well sis and dopey have now said they have taken legal advice and that the parents have to pay, his dad said bollocks sue us but you will be laughed out of court, now it gets better they have a wedding list and have demanded it be fullfilled from the family on both sides or it will be seen as a snub to them.
My opinion is that if you want to get married then fine but dont expect parents to foot the bill if you are going to be selfish and ignorant, my other half said she would have deserved a slap for behaving like my sis, but is this how young wannabe marrieds are going to be like from now on.

p.s this is not a wind up

Well I'm glad no one is bowing to their ridiculous crap and vowing not to pay. I'd tell them to F*CK OFF if I was one of the parents.

And it's really funny that they think they can sue them for the money. Let us know how things develop!!

Faxy Fowler · 02-05-2007, 05:36

Yeah, keep us up to date on this!!!! It sounds ridiculous!

Would be shocked to find they have a leg to stand on if they insist the parents must pay.

Supercell · 02-05-2007, 05:46

I am definately on the side of the parents........its just like getting them to pay for a blooming holiday.... I think they are bluffing with the lawyer thing its probably one of their friends that came up with that idea

indianwells · 02-05-2007, 06:17

The parents legally have to pay? Utter, utter bollox. If anyone believes that then they're spending too much time on internet forums.

Stargate 1 · 02-05-2007, 06:38

Regardless of the money side of it...I feel terribly sorry for your sister and hubby-to-be's parents. Someone getting married happens to be one of the proudest moments for a parent. I think it's really bad that friends have been picked over and above the family. I would hope your sister realizes the error of her ways and comes to her senses before it's too late.

As others have said, Your parents aren't legally bound to pay for the wedding. I do hope it works itself out for all your sakes.

weateallthepies · 02-05-2007, 06:57

This needs Jermey Kyle....and thats a fact!

Actually its completely bonkers I'm struggling to believe someone could behave like this.

Weddings do strange things though, have a few stories of my own which I definitly won't be sharing.

Manko · 02-05-2007, 06:59

I give it 6 months.

loogthung · 02-05-2007, 07:06

What legal advice did they get that told them their parents had to pay?

02-05-2007, 07:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stargate 1

Regardless of the money side of it...I feel terribly sorry for your sister and hubby-to-be's parents. Someone getting married happens to be one of the proudest moments for a parent. I think it's really bad that friends have been picked over and above the family. I would hope your sister realizes the error of her ways and comes to her senses before it's too late.

As others have said, Your parents aren't legally bound to pay for the wedding. I do hope it works itself out for all your sakes.

Indeed... I have no problem with people who don't want the big church white wedding and go abroad though. I don't want it myself... if/when me and the OH ever get round to getting married (been engaged for about 6 years now

) we've already decided that we will be going abroad. It'll just be us two though, I certainly wouldn't take my friends along and tell my mum she's barred from attending!

...and I wouldn't be expecting her to pay for it either. In fact, I don't think people should expect their parents to foot the cost of their wedding period, regardless of how or where they're getting married. If the parents want to get involved and help out then fair enough but it shouldn't be taken for granted. As for them being legally obliged to pay out, as has been said throughout the thread... Poppycock!

Amica · 02-05-2007, 07:36

How upsetting for your parents (and the groom's). They must be devastated at this behaviour.
How old are this pair? Your parents are doing the right thing telling them to pay for their own wedding. As for the present list, I think the Argos voucher would be too good for them.
Send them the number of a local divorce solicitor on a congratulations card. With the selfish attitudes they have, I can't see a relationship lasting very long !

Stargate 1 · 02-05-2007, 07:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookends

Indeed... I have no problem with people who don't want the big church white wedding and go abroad though. I don't want it myself... if/when me and the OH ever get round to getting married (been engaged for about 6 years now

) we've already decided that we will be going abroad. It'll just be us two though, I certainly wouldn't take my friends along and tell my mum she's barred from attending!

...and I wouldn't be expecting her to pay for it either. In fact, I don't think people should expect their parents to foot the cost of their wedding period, regardless of how or where they're getting married. If the parents want to get involved and help out then fair enough but it shouldn't be taken for granted. As for them being legally obliged to pay out, as has been said throughout the thread... Poppycock!

I happen to agree with you. Me and hubby paid for our wedding, I certainly wasn't expecting my parents to do so...but it was nice having them (both sets of parents) with us to enjoy our day. Your also right about choice...When deciding what you want to do for your 'big day' that's up to the individual couples to decide.

kimindex · 02-05-2007, 07:48

The parents have no obligation, moral or legal to pay, IMO, and definitely not legal. If I was the parents, I'd tell them I've taken legal advice and they are under no obligation to pay and ask them why they are liars. They deserve to be shown up. How awful! What a pair of freeloading liars.

I wouldn't buy them a card, let alone a present.

shezpez · 02-05-2007, 07:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickey Blue

my sister is getting married in june this year, well both sets of parents were looking forward to the ceremony, reception ect until my selfish sister and her dopey soon to be hubby dropped a bombshell.They have decided to go to the carribean to get married along with only their friends as guests, neither set of parents or family are invited to attend.
Well as you will guess this has caused no end of arguments now that the parents have been told they have to stump up for the holiday,ceremony, outfits and the costs of 12 bloody mates, my mom and dad are adamant that they will never part with a penny towards the costs,and his parents are in total agreement with mine.Well sis and dopey have now said they have taken legal advice and that the parents have to pay, his dad said bollocks sue us but you will be laughed out of court, now it gets better they have a wedding list and have demanded it be fullfilled from the family on both sides or it will be seen as a snub to them.
My opinion is that if you want to get married then fine but dont expect parents to foot the bill if you are going to be selfish and ignorant, my other half said she would have deserved a slap for behaving like my sis, but is this how young wannabe marrieds are going to be like from now on.

p.s this is not a wind up

Acting like this im not sure they are mature enough to get married yet anyway

If it were my kids i would be heartbroken..i feel for the parents very much

Luxxy · 02-05-2007, 07:49

Neither set of parents are invited but yet they are expected to pay for the wedding, WTF?

This is the most bizarre thing I've heard in a while.

02-05-2007, 07:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickey Blue

my sister is getting married in june this year, well both sets of parents were looking forward to the ceremony, reception ect until my selfish sister and her dopey soon to be hubby dropped a bombshell.They have decided to go to the carribean to get married along with only their friends as guests, neither set of parents or family are invited to attend.
Well as you will guess this has caused no end of arguments now that the parents have been told they have to stump up for the holiday,ceremony, outfits and the costs of 12 bloody mates, my mom and dad are adamant that they will never part with a penny towards the costs,and his parents are in total agreement with mine.Well sis and dopey have now said they have taken legal advice and that the parents have to pay, his dad said bollocks sue us but you will be laughed out of court, now it gets better they have a wedding list and have demanded it be fullfilled from the family on both sides or it will be seen as a snub to them.
My opinion is that if you want to get married then fine but dont expect parents to foot the bill if you are going to be selfish and ignorant, my other half said she would have deserved a slap for behaving like my sis, but is this how young wannabe marrieds are going to be like from now on.

p.s this is not a wind up

Yes it is.

Either by you or your sister.

02-05-2007, 07:53

You've got to get them to go on Jeremy Kyle with this gem.
What an absolute farce. I'd stay well away from the idiots if I were you.

rachelb65 · 02-05-2007, 07:56

I thinking the OP needs to keep a close eye on that sis and her OH. Do they think your parents are going senile already because they lie about the law in trying to rip them off financially?

Lorna1000 · 02-05-2007, 08:04

Personally I'd call their bluff. Let them try to sue - any lawyer (bar possibly Fish from Ally McBeal) will laugh them out of their offices.

Would I be right to guess they are both quite young and naive? Once they grow up they'll realise that the world does not owe them a living.

Snozzwangler · 02-05-2007, 08:07

Seems a bit of a cheek that they expect parents to pay for it, no wonder they're peed off.

We got married with just friends, no family. But we paid for it all ourselves, and we kept it low key. Registry office, pub and a night away. Reason for that was we had certain people that we didn't want ruining our day, and if we invited some family, they'd all have to come. So it seemed a way out of avoiding a load of hassle to be honest.

But I certainly would not have had the cheek to have expected anyone else to have paid for it.

WillowFae · 02-05-2007, 08:22

When I got married I had a full blown ceremony (hotel not church) and do in this country. Parents and inlaws did pay for it (they volunteered to, it was not expectd), except for the photo album and honeymoon which we paid for. This was fine with everyone (and, as they were paying they got some say in who was invited from within the family - you know, distant aunts and uncles etc).

My brother on the other hand went to the Caribbean to get married - just the two of them. No family and no friends attended (which was how they wanted it). I'm pretty sure my parents and his wife's parents gave them some money towards it (I think her parents paid for her dress) but nothing like what they did for our wedding. And this was fair enough and accepted by everyone involved.

To expect parents to cough up the full amount and then be told they aren't welcome to attend is awful! I especially can't believe they are being asked to pay for their friends to attend!

Chilli Dragon · 02-05-2007, 08:25

If they want to get married abraod and alone they can, but they certainly cannot expect anyone to contribute to the costs.

d0lphin · 02-05-2007, 08:27

It's madness! I agree they should be able to go and get married abroad of that's what they choose to do but to expect their parents to pay for it is crazy! Let them go to a solicitor - it will give him/her a good laugh.

02-05-2007, 03:35	#1
Mickey Blue Banned User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 826	selfish bride and groom. my sister is getting married in june this year, well both sets of parents were looking forward to the ceremony, reception ect until my selfish sister and her dopey soon to be hubby dropped a bombshell.They have decided to go to the carribean to get married along with only their friends as guests, neither set of parents or family are invited to attend. Well as you will guess this has caused no end of arguments now that the parents have been told they have to stump up for the holiday,ceremony, outfits and the costs of 12 bloody mates, my mom and dad are adamant that they will never part with a penny towards the costs,and his parents are in total agreement with mine.Well sis and dopey have now said they have taken legal advice and that the parents have to pay, his dad said bollocks sue us but you will be laughed out of court, now it gets better they have a wedding list and have demanded it be fullfilled from the family on both sides or it will be seen as a snub to them. My opinion is that if you want to get married then fine but dont expect parents to foot the bill if you are going to be selfish and ignorant, my other half said she would have deserved a slap for behaving like my sis, but is this how young wannabe marrieds are going to be like from now on. p.s this is not a wind up

02-05-2007, 08:22	#23
WillowFae Forum Member Join Date: May 2005 Services: Sky+ HD Posts: 4,674 Blog Entries: 1	When I got married I had a full blown ceremony (hotel not church) and do in this country. Parents and inlaws did pay for it (they volunteered to, it was not expectd), except for the photo album and honeymoon which we paid for. This was fine with everyone (and, as they were paying they got some say in who was invited from within the family - you know, distant aunts and uncles etc). My brother on the other hand went to the Caribbean to get married - just the two of them. No family and no friends attended (which was how they wanted it). I'm pretty sure my parents and his wife's parents gave them some money towards it (I think her parents paid for her dress) but nothing like what they did for our wedding. And this was fair enough and accepted by everyone involved. To expect parents to cough up the full amount and then be told they aren't welcome to attend is awful! I especially can't believe they are being asked to pay for their friends to attend! Last edited by WillowFae : 02-05-2007 at 08:27.

02-05-2007, 04:03	#2
krytas Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: down under Posts: 900	WOW!!! I haven't heard of anything so bad in a long time. If they decided to go OS and get married and have a party, then they should pay for it. I think it is really rude to believe that the parents will and SHOULD pay for it. Tell them to have some decency and give the parents a break. I also think this idea of getting married OS is giving the families a clear message of what the bride and groom think of them. Are they not good enough to attend the wedding or only good enough to pay for it. Bloody cheek!! Personally, I would tell them to bugger off, get married and leave the families alone. PS Just to let you know that my OH and I paid for our wedding ourselves, that included both sets of parents, and a total of 65 guests. It cost us $6000 dollars (2500 pounds)+plus week's honeymoon on a tropical island. Granted it was 10 years ago, but with the amount they would spend on the marriage OS, they could have a great wedding at home without alienatiing anyone. By the way, how old are they?

02-05-2007, 04:10	#3
kmac Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Berwick upon Tweed Posts: 1,343	Legally the parents are not obliged to pay anything at all. As for wedding presents, give them a £5 Argos voucher.

02-05-2007, 05:36	#5
Faxy Fowler Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Gender: Male Location: Liverpool Services: Sky HD+, Sky broadband Posts: 14,235	Yeah, keep us up to date on this!!!! It sounds ridiculous! Would be shocked to find they have a leg to stand on if they insist the parents must pay.

02-05-2007, 05:46	#6
Supercell Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,549	I am definately on the side of the parents........its just like getting them to pay for a blooming holiday.... I think they are bluffing with the lawyer thing its probably one of their friends that came up with that idea

02-05-2007, 06:17	#7
indianwells Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Jennifers lower appendage! Posts: 8,456 Blog Entries: 12	The parents legally have to pay? Utter, utter bollox. If anyone believes that then they're spending too much time on internet forums.

02-05-2007, 06:38	#8
Stargate 1 Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: South London Posts: 3,649	Regardless of the money side of it...I feel terribly sorry for your sister and hubby-to-be's parents. Someone getting married happens to be one of the proudest moments for a parent. I think it's really bad that friends have been picked over and above the family. I would hope your sister realizes the error of her ways and comes to her senses before it's too late. As others have said, Your parents aren't legally bound to pay for the wedding. I do hope it works itself out for all your sakes.

02-05-2007, 06:57	#9
weateallthepies Forum Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3,561	This needs Jermey Kyle....and thats a fact! Actually its completely bonkers I'm struggling to believe someone could behave like this. Weddings do strange things though, have a few stories of my own which I definitly won't be sharing.

02-05-2007, 06:59	#10
Manko Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: On the first boat out of here Posts: 4,185	I give it 6 months.

02-05-2007, 07:06	#11
loogthung Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Services: JumpTV, VM, DAB Posts: 22	What legal advice did they get that told them their parents had to pay?

02-05-2007, 07:36	#13
Amica Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 1,109	How upsetting for your parents (and the groom's). They must be devastated at this behaviour. How old are this pair? Your parents are doing the right thing telling them to pay for their own wedding. As for the present list, I think the Argos voucher would be too good for them. Send them the number of a local divorce solicitor on a congratulations card. With the selfish attitudes they have, I can't see a relationship lasting very long !

02-05-2007, 07:48	#15
kimindex Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cornwall (ex-London) Posts: 40,019	The parents have no obligation, moral or legal to pay, IMO, and definitely not legal. If I was the parents, I'd tell them I've taken legal advice and they are under no obligation to pay and ask them why they are liars. They deserve to be shown up. How awful! What a pair of freeloading liars. I wouldn't buy them a card, let alone a present.

02-05-2007, 07:49	#17
Luxxy Inactive Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: London Services: SkyHD, Pipex, iMac, Macbook, Wii Posts: 18,099	Neither set of parents are invited but yet they are expected to pay for the wedding, WTF? This is the most bizarre thing I've heard in a while.

02-05-2007, 07:53	#19
Barry Scott Posts: n/a	You've got to get them to go on Jeremy Kyle with this gem. What an absolute farce. I'd stay well away from the idiots if I were you.

02-05-2007, 07:56	#20
rachelb65 Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 12,489	I thinking the OP needs to keep a close eye on that sis and her OH. Do they think your parents are going senile already because they lie about the law in trying to rip them off financially?

02-05-2007, 08:04	#21
Lorna1000 Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 5,138	Personally I'd call their bluff. Let them try to sue - any lawyer (bar possibly Fish from Ally McBeal) will laugh them out of their offices. Would I be right to guess they are both quite young and naive? Once they grow up they'll realise that the world does not owe them a living.

02-05-2007, 08:07	#22
Snozzwangler Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Betty landscaper Posts: 49,816	Seems a bit of a cheek that they expect parents to pay for it, no wonder they're peed off. We got married with just friends, no family. But we paid for it all ourselves, and we kept it low key. Registry office, pub and a night away. Reason for that was we had certain people that we didn't want ruining our day, and if we invited some family, they'd all have to come. So it seemed a way out of avoiding a load of hassle to be honest. But I certainly would not have had the cheek to have expected anyone else to have paid for it.

02-05-2007, 08:25	#24
Chilli Dragon Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Au nord de l'Angleterre Services: De-stressing, hopefully Posts: 22,065	If they want to get married abraod and alone they can, but they certainly cannot expect anyone to contribute to the costs.

02-05-2007, 08:27	#25
d0lphin Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 4,958	It's madness! I agree they should be able to go and get married abroad of that's what they choose to do but to expect their parents to pay for it is crazy! Let them go to a solicitor - it will give him/her a good laugh.