[Cairy Lunt]

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British
TV and radio


1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from
Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"


2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl
Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely
horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't
that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the
Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is
playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his
balls and kisses them .....

Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team
Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."


7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have
snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's
that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so
hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better
today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:
"There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like
this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen
Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They
seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in
his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny
Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to
use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

[MrsOggy]

Thanks for those. Had me LOL in my office

[Bella Trix]

PMSL, thanks for the giggle on a Monday morning! Much needed!

[MrsOggy]

James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked:

"What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Rubens Barrichello?"

[fitnessqueen]

Plus of course the iconical cricket quote "The Batsman's Holding, The Bowler's Willey"

[Equinoxe]

Originally Posted by miss granger

PMSL, thanks for the giggle on a Monday morning! Much needed!

Sorry to ask but I've seen this saying quite alot and don't know what PMSL means. Can someone enlighten me please.

Good post. Got me chortling anyway.

[Radiomaniac]

PMSL - Pi$$ing MySelf Laughing - which is what I'm also doing!

Thanks for the great laugh Cairy.

[vidalia]

David Coleman: And there is the great Cuban runner Alberto Juantorena, opening his legs wide and showing us all his class."

[the spiz 2]

Originally Posted by fitnessqueen

Plus of course the iconical cricket quote "The Batsman's Holding, The Bowler's Willey"

except of course that it was the other way round according to the urban myth and no record exists of Johnners ever having said it.

[vidalia]

Originally Posted by the spiz 2

except of course that it was the other way round according to the urban myth and no record exists of Johnners ever having said it.

But if he had he would have laughed on air for at least half an hour. He had the most wonderful laugh.

[batdude_uk1]

There was another TMS quote as well, that had me in stiches, when I heard it, if only I could remember it, it was quite a famous one as well. Damm memory black outs!

[magicmover]

I am laughing my head off. Thanks for posting, just what I needed on this rainy afternoon.

[the spiz 2]

Originally Posted by batdude_uk1

There was another TMS quote as well, that had me in stiches, when I heard it, if only I could remember it, it was quite a famous one as well. Damm memory black outs!

That would be about Beefy (I think) failing to get his leg over when he hit the stumps. I think it was Johnathon Agnew who uttered it.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/cta/sp...ms/legover.ram

[vidalia]

It's not a double entendre but my favourite bit of commentary came from Paul Gascgoine:
"I don't make predictions and I never will"

[shazzyfizz]

Another David Coleman classic

Linford Christie's got a habit of pulling it out when it matters most

[Cairy Lunt]

I also love the Ron Atkinson classic.

"I've never commented on referees and i am not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat!"

[Finky]

Number 7 on that list is brilliant

[The Divination]

Sporting events lend themselves to innuendo - no doubt about that, but someone emailed me some classics from Star Wars.

1. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
2. "Luke, at that speed do you think that you'll be able to pull out in time?"
3. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
4. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
5. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
6. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
7. "Sorry about the mess..."
8. "Look at the size of that thing!"
9. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
10. "She may not look like much, but she's go it where it counts, kid."

[mistikal1]

HAHAHAHA i've never laughed so much, Thanks

[ThinBoy]

There's the classic Brian Johnson cricket commentary line: "The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willy."

And was that Fanny Craddock one true? When Johnny said "And I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's" - or is it an urban myth?

Found some other good ones on this forum.

[UKMikey]

Originally Posted by The Divination

Sporting events lend themselves to innuendo - no doubt about that, but someone emailed me some classics from Star Wars.

1. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
2. "Luke, at that speed do you think that you'll be able to pull out in time?"
3. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
4. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
5. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
6. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
7. "Sorry about the mess..."
8. "Look at the size of that thing!"
9. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
10. "She may not look like much, but she's go it where it counts, kid."

"Control, control! You must learn control!"

[Granny Weatherwax]

Priceless

[BMR]

Five Live commentary "deep in injury time, final free kick of the game surely, Arsenal will throw everyone forward for this.....and Seaman has come"

Not sport, but the Blue Peter one 'What a lovely pair of knockers'

[bigstunnerdude]

Jim Ross providing play by play commentary on TLC match at Wrestlemania 20. "Lita just jerked Edge off the Ladder."

Funny especially coming from the straight man, and considering how the two would later get into a relationship 6 years later where the above probably happened in the other sense.

[philipsdalton]

funniest thread of all time thanks