[magnetictiger]

Hopefully not relevant, but was wondering if anyone had any experience of PND and how to cope with it?

Mainly the overwhelming feeling of being unable to cope and the huge knot in the stomach, as well as constant tearfulness and guilt.

Is it similar to coping with 'normal' depression - sleep well, eat well, get outside, do nice things, talk and exercise?

[smelly jem]

If you ever feel low or worse after having a baby seeing your health visitor and talking to your friends and family are the best things you can do.
Keeping yourself locked away from the world and not verbalising your feelings make it far worse. With PN depression having someone acknowledge and validate your feelings can do the world of good.

Also never feel silly for going to see a HV when you 'just' have niggling negative feelings , they would rather see you then than a few months down the line when you are emotionally exhausted and desperate.

I know it's hard to talk when you feel so awful about your feelings surrounding a new baby and your new life as a mum but once you've told one person it gets far easier to tell the next!

take care
xx

[Angel-owl]

I've not got any advice but I just wanted to say a massive congratulations on the birth of your baby Love and hugs xxxxxx

[Collette]

My first reaction would be don't automatically assume you have PND - ask for help if you need it by all means but don't underestimate the power of the baby blues which are a different thing entirely. Depending on how long ago it is you gave birth speak to either your midwife or health visitor - basically whoever is still overseeing your care.

Also, one of the best support networks there is for new parents is other new parents too - so no matter how hard it is, get yourself out to any post-natal groups there are in the your area and speak to other new mums who are no doubt going through the same emotions as you are right now

[magnetictiger]

Originally Posted by Collette

My first reaction would be don't automatically assume you have PND - ask for help if you need it by all means but don't underestimate the power of the baby blues which are a different thing entirely. Depending on how long ago it is you gave birth speak to either your midwife or health visitor - basically whoever is still overseeing your care.

Also, one of the best support networks there is for new parents is other new parents too - so no matter how hard it is, get yourself out to any post-natal groups there are in the your area and speak to other new mums who are no doubt going through the same emotions as you are right now

I'm hoping its just the baby blues. Baby is nine days old now.

I've got a pyschiatrist appointment on Monday, but I'm not hopeful. I imagine she'll want to put me back on mood stabalisers, but they are highly sedating, and I can't look after a newborn when I'm falling asleep whenever I sit down.

Midwife has been visiting daily, but isn't coming today, to see how I get on 'alone'. They keep offering reassurance, but no real advice.

Didn't manage to buy a pram while pregnant, so I'm waiting for OH to get better so we can go and buy one. Bit trapped in the house at the moment, can't really get out to groups without a pram.

[cruella de vile]

Originally Posted by magnetictiger

I'm hoping its just the baby blues. Baby is nine days old now.

I've got a pyschiatrist appointment on Monday, but I'm not hopeful. I imagine she'll want to put me back on mood stabalisers, but they are highly sedating, and I can't look after a newborn when I'm falling asleep whenever I sit down.

Midwife has been visiting daily, but isn't coming today, to see how I get on 'alone'. They keep offering reassurance, but no real advice.

Didn't manage to buy a pram while pregnant, so I'm waiting for OH to get better so we can go and buy one. Bit trapped in the house at the moment, can't really get out to groups without a pram.

I think with any depression you need to focus on the positives in your life right now rather than the negatives.

Although when you are feeling down especially with a new baby and people telling you how wonderful you should be feeling do nothing to help but make you feel guilty. From reading your previous posts it sounds like you have come through depression before (apologies if i'm wrong! ) so just try and keep in mind that you have done it before and you can do it again.

There is something you can do with a blanket to secure the baby to you (can't for the life of me remember what it's called but I'll try and find something) maybe you could do that and go for a walk until you can get a pram? Or have you considered buying online and getting one delivered? I did that and had no problems.

'Baby blues' at 9 days is perfectly normal and it doesn't mean you are going to sink into PND just try and keep that in your mind.

Oh and Congratulations!

Edit: just found this, hope it helps...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l77rxW_JUz8

[kookiethekat]

My advice would be FORCE your HV to help you. I did not get any support when my first was born and still haven't now, it has affected our relationship but now I just accept it as I believe it is too late to do anything about it.

[GetMeOuttaHere]

Can't really offer any advice on PND, other than try to stay positive and enjoy your baby. Also talk to your HV and your psychiatrist, don't bottle things up, you're going through a very stressful period of adjustment.

Congratulations to you and your partner on the baby. How much did he weigh and what is his name, the baby that is not your OH, if you don't mind me asking.

[red tulips]

Hi Magnetictiger and a huge congratulations on your baby!

It's very important to accept that you are going to go through a large range of emotions following the birth of your child. And that is completely and utterly normal. Very very few women get through without days of sobbing and feeling inadequate and terrified and exhausted.

It's partly your hormones, partly exhuastion and partly coming to terms with the most enormous adjustment you will ever have to make in your life.

It is very good to be so aware of yourself and your own feelings. To be on the look out for PND means that you will be much less likely to suffer badly from it. You will be proactive and recognise that you are struggling.

PLEASE don't be afraid to talk to anyone and everyone about all your feelings. Don't be brushed off. There are lots of helplines (I called them all!) such as Parentline etc. They are great to ring up and cry to.

Did you have a good birth? Sometimes if things have been stressful during the birth then it is like a trauma that you have to recover from.

Please pm me with any problems.

Lots of love and luck
x

[red tulips]

Originally Posted by kookiethekat

My advice would be FORCE your HV to help you. I did not get any support when my first was born and still haven't now, it has affected our relationship but now I just accept it as I believe it is too late to do anything about it.

How long has it been? If you are still suffering then you should be able to get help. You shouldn't have to live with this. You absolutely deserve to feel better about this and not live in the shadow of whatever experiences you have been through.

[smelly jem]

Having a new baby in your life is very stressful. You're tired from lack of sleep , emotional from the pregnancy hormones leaving your body and you are still recovering from the birth.

Just don't expect too much from yourself Magnetictiger . We are all human and therefore need to adjust to things gradually. Let the the housework go to pot , if people visit let them make you tea! Just make sure you look after yourself and allow yourself to find your feet with motherhood , you'll be fine I'm sure.

I've been where you are and the guilt is awful . You have this beautiful baby yet you feel as if you are being ungrateful because you feel negative and lack faith your own parenting abilities , right? Trust me though , when you are getting more sleep and a few hours to yourself of an evening you will feel more like you again and things will seem so much better.
Good luck Magnetictiger,
Take care of yourself and remember you are only human

[magnetictiger]

Originally Posted by red tulips

Did you have a good birth? Sometimes if things have been stressful during the birth then it is like a trauma that you have to recover from.

I ended up being induced due to pre-eclampsia. Was a pretty traumatic birth, the baby got very distressed and they prepped me for an emergency C-Section. Luckily managed to get him out naturally before the aneasnatist arrived. So much for my natural, pain relief free birth!

Originally Posted by GetMeOuttaHere

Or have you considered buying online and getting one delivered? I did that and had no problems.

I'll force myself to do that. I've hated buying things, didn't buy a single thing till I was about 32 weeks. I still can't believe this is real, and a pram is such a 'real' thing, if you know what I mean.

Originally Posted by GetMeOuttaHere

Congratulations to you and your partner on the baby. How much did he weigh and what is his name, the baby that is not your OH, if you don't mind me asking.

Toby James Tiger, was 7lb 7oz and has lots of hair!

[caras]

I work with the HV's and it is one of the major things we would like to be able to help with. Phone your HV as soon as possible. She will hopefully arrange a home visit to come out and see how you are and try to offer whatever support you feel you need.

She may recommend a visit to your GP. This doesn't automatically mean anti depressants. They can also provide access to cognitive therapy and counselling
It is all up to you. You have recognised the symptoms so go and seek help and best of luck.

[magnetictiger]

Had a difficult night last night, so asked the Midwife team to send a midwife earlier rather than later. I'm hoping to be able to get a home visit from a Doctor to prescribe medication. I've got an appointment on Monday, but I really don't like my Pyschiatrist and I've no idea how I'm going to manage to get to the clinic.

[DinkyDoo]

Hi I had PND,

Your HV should do a edinburgh score to assess if you are likey to be devoping PND, but if you have suffered from depression in the past then they really ought to be keeping a eye out for signs of it as soon as you had your baby.

You need to get out and about, get lots of fresh air and make sure you are eating properly and get as much sleep as you can (difficult with a new baby i know) Tell people how you are feeling, your parents, your OH parents. I hid my PND for a long time from my family and it was the worst thing I could have done. Dont try to cope alone!

Get the doctor out to you asap if you are feeling low, it may well just be the baby blues, but even if they say its that and it dont go away go back and get them to reasses you again.

Congrats on the birth of your little boy!

[kookiethekat]

Originally Posted by red tulips

How long has it been? If you are still suffering then you should be able to get help. You shouldn't have to live with this. You absolutely deserve to feel better about this and not live in the shadow of whatever experiences you have been through.

My daughter is 11. My husband basically brought her up single handed when she was a baby, I could not cope. He gave up his job to look after her wheile I went out to work.

[joo-joo]

I can't advise on depression as I haven't experienced PND myself, although I did suffer from baby blues after the birth of my children, which is very common and perfectly normal. I found talking to my midwife and health visitor very helpful and reassuring.

I haven't got a pram for my daughter who is 10 weeks old now. I take her out and about in a sling and its fantastic. I don't drive and wouldn't contemplate getting on a bus with a pram but with her in the sling I can get about very easily and she loves it. She goes straight to sleep as soon as I put her in it.

I went for the Baba Sling as it has lots of different carrying positions:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/BabaSlings-B...0565375&sr=1-1

[MrsSpoon]

Originally Posted by magnetictiger

Had a difficult night last night, so asked the Midwife team to send a midwife earlier rather than later. I'm hoping to be able to get a home visit from a Doctor to prescribe medication. I've got an appointment on Monday, but I really don't like my Pyschiatrist and I've no idea how I'm going to manage to get to the clinic.

Oh you poor thing. I do sympathise so much.
PND is not something that is easillly controllable. It will take possibly some medication. It's all about hormones and chemicals in your body adjusting to the non-pregnant state. after the baby has arrived.

These days if you admit that you want some help then the health service is very good about helping you get over PND.

In my day (25 years ago) you didn't admit to being depressed incase they took the baby off you or slammed you in a psychiatric hospital.

I know this sounds silly but you need to get back into some of the things you were doing before the baby came. It does help. I had PND and it didn't start to go away until I actually got out and about. I had numb feet apart from my toes for 5 months after my baby was born which was paramount to tipping me over the edge by making me feel inadequate about being a Mum.

I did a lot of mad things. I kept falling over and I had totally irrational fears like my husband was looking at other women which he wasn't. I even ran away in my slippers in the middle of the night, taking the baby with me. My husband followed me and got us home safely. Can't believe I did that.

PND is horrible, but it is now a recognised condition and you will be treated seriously and kindly.

[Angel Lisa]

Originally Posted by magnetictiger

Hopefully not relevant, but was wondering if anyone had any experience of PND and how to cope with it?

Mainly the overwhelming feeling of being unable to cope and the huge knot in the stomach, as well as constant tearfulness and guilt.

Is it similar to coping with 'normal' depression - sleep well, eat well, get outside, do nice things, talk and exercise?

First off congratulations hunny on the birth of your special bundle.

I have 2 children, 18mth apart and suffer from PND, i tried to take my own life last year but i have come back on top.

I have a CPN, (Community Psychiatric Nurse) she is fantastic, they help you realise that what you have is normal for new mum and that you are not alone, there is help available and its there for everyone to use who feel they need it.

I spoke to my HV on the birth visit and was put on Prozac last april, i am better than what i was but i still have my down days. Speak to you Health Visitor and tell her how your feeling, or go to see your GP they will help you also

Hugs hunny and if you ever need to chat PM me. xxx

[magnetictiger]

Had a pretty difficult weekend. Went to stay with my Mum, and she really helped. Managed to get some sleep and lots of help with the baby. Spent the whole time crying though. Got Pyschiatrist appointment this afternoon, then hopefully back to stay with my Mum tomorrow.

[horseychick28]

How does your OH feel about this? I would imagine that baby blues or worse then it's important to talk to him (not had my baby yet though, I'm sure I'll be better able to comment in a few weeks!)

[magnetictiger]

Originally Posted by horseychick28

How does your OH feel about this? I would imagine that baby blues or worse then it's important to talk to him (not had my baby yet though, I'm sure I'll be better able to comment in a few weeks!)

He does struggle when I'm 'ill' - he does care and does his best, but he doesn't really understand it. We have completely different minds - he is very logical and I'm emotional. Had some good chats with my Mum over the weekend which helped.

OH isn't against me having another bash with medication, which seems to suggest that I'm pretty low. He is usually very anti-medication.

[redjay]

Am late for work so just a quick reply. Like one of the other posters said, don't automatically assume you have PND. I would rule out Anaemia by having a simple bloodtest, anaemia is very common after having a baby and can cause you to feel horrible including feeling depressed and anxious, tired, headaches etc. ALso post partum hypothyroid can cause emotional symptoms too.

[magnetictiger]

Originally Posted by redjay

Am late for work so just a quick reply. Like one of the other posters said, don't automatically assume you have PND. I would rule out Anaemia by having a simple bloodtest, anaemia is very common after having a baby and can cause you to feel horrible including feeling depressed and anxious, tired, headaches etc. ALso post partum hypothyroid can cause emotional symptoms too.

Thanks for this. Midwife is coming this morning so I'll ask her if there could be a simple cause like this that would explain how I'm feeling.

[sallygill1961]

i realy do feel for you tiger i know how bad its been for you in the past hang in there hope the H.V helps you me and nettie are both wishing you all the best take care sally x