Smelly Jem - Advice

Nia70 · 25-08-2009, 15:31

Been away for the weekend and got back today, just had a look through the last 12 pages on here and can't find her thread.

Has anyone had any contact from her?

I was just wondering how she was doing, I know she was thinking about getting that thread pulled.

mirandashell · 25-08-2009, 15:32

She did put on that one post but I don't think anyone has heard anything since. It would be nice too but I guess she has no access to a puter at the moment. And probably got lots of things to deal with. Hopefully she will get a chance to let us know.

Nia70 · 25-08-2009, 15:35

Hi Miranda, thanks for the reply.

Really hope she does get the chance to let us know how she is getting on. Totally crazy but I thought about her a few times while I was away.

dollymarie · 25-08-2009, 15:35

She did post this

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...7&postcount=14

The original thread is still here but no updates on either thread for a few days now.

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...ight=smellyjem

Hope shes alright

Nia70 · 25-08-2009, 15:38

Thanks dolly

Much appreciated.

Nia70 · 25-08-2009, 22:16

Just seen her update, Im happy now

inapickle · 02-09-2009, 15:19

Thought I'd bump this. In case she gets a chance to post.

dollymarie · 02-09-2009, 15:36

Spooky, I only checked today when she was last online, it seems she hasnt been since she last posted.

Jem if you see this, I hope you are ok.

smelly jem · 05-09-2009, 11:44

Hello all , I'm doing very well. Am still at my mums with the children and have got my money sorted out which gives me far more independence

The kids are seeing their dad for the second time today which I hope continues to go well.

My husband is struggling. I had to speak to him yesterday and he seemed broken. This is sad but I hope he's strong enough to deal with his problems for his sake and the childrens.

It's early days but I'm well and strong and looking forward to a happy future

dollymarie · 05-09-2009, 11:47

Glad you are sounding so positive Jem, good on you girl. Im sure you feel relieved on top of everything else.

Dont let him make you feel guilty for a second, he had years to realise what a diamond he had in you and its no ones fault but his that he's lost that.

Keep checking in when you can wont you, there are lots of people here wondering about you.

Big hugs, and very proud of you.

chocoholic100 · 05-09-2009, 11:52

Hi Jem
glad you and the kids are OK, I often wonder how your doing
take care and stay strong

mirandashell · 05-09-2009, 11:56

So glad to hear you are ok, Jem. Stay strong and good luck.

Starpuss · 05-09-2009, 12:29

I think about you every day Jem, and send you good luck wishes.

You are an inspiration.

isobel040706 · 05-09-2009, 13:09

Oh jem I'm so relieved only because I really did think you had gone back to him. Good luck for the future xx

Tasa · 05-09-2009, 14:17

Jem, I followed your thread but never posted as I didn't have any useful advice to offer. I'm pleased you're doing well, and do keep strong. I left my husband (a long time ago now and we had no children so my decision was perhaps easier to make than yours) and he was absolutely devastated at the time - I actually felt like the guilty one, although it was his behaviour which made me decide to leave. Within a couple of years he had met someone else and remarried, and they had two children together. I also met someone else, so both our lives turned out better as a result of parting. Keep the long-term picture in mind and although I don't know you, I wish you all the best for your future.

halfacrown · 05-09-2009, 14:58

Good luck Jem, the hardest parts over, glad your looking forward to the future, the only way is up!

wench · 11-09-2009, 11:46

Any news Smelly Jem? Hope you are ok

smelly jem · 11-09-2009, 20:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by isobel040706

Oh jem I'm so relieved only because I really did think you had gone back to him. Good luck for the future xx

he tried to commit suicide on Sunday , he texted me after he did it. He's home now.
His family now feel sorry for him and think i'm a bitch.
I saved his life though by calling an ambulance and going to the flat! I'm more determined than ever to stay away from him now. He pulled a low trick to get my attention and i feel sick at what he did. He needs help.

dollymarie · 11-09-2009, 20:53

God Jem, thats a horrible thing to do to you. A very low trick as you say.

Hugs, and I hope you are as ok as you can be.
You know where I am if you need a chat.
xx

hugsie · 11-09-2009, 20:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by smelly jem

he tried to commit suicide on Sunday , he texted me after he did it. He's home now.
His family now feel sorry for him and think i'm a bitch.
I saved his life though by calling an ambulance and going to the flat! I'm more determined than ever to stay away from him now. He pulled a low trick to get my attention and i feel sick at what he did. He needs help.

(((((((((SJ)))))))))))))))
He really will try anything to maintain control. It never occurred to him to just listen to you.
Be strong. Tell him next time you''ll call the ambulance but not go yourself. How dare he try and put that on you! I bet if you had not he would have called for help himself and told all and sundry you left him to die.

You did make the right decision. You can't be with someone just to stop them from harming them self no matter how much you care.
Just keep your lawyer informed and given that he is clearly willing to go to unstable actions to gain a response from you, it may be worth requesting that he have supervises visitation with the children through a third party.

I'm truly sorry for you having to go through all this.

muffin789 · 11-09-2009, 20:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by smelly jem

he tried to commit suicide on Sunday , he texted me after he did it. He's home now.
His family now feel sorry for him and think i'm a bitch.
I saved his life though by calling an ambulance and going to the flat! I'm more determined than ever to stay away from him now. He pulled a low trick to get my attention and i feel sick at what he did. He needs help.

What an awful thing for him to do!! That was a low blow - emotional blackmail is so manipulative.

It must be awful for you, but I am glad you seem to know you're doing the right thing. I hope gets the help he needs - he'll have had to have a psych eval before theylet him out of hospital to make sure he wasn't still suicidal, and maybe that will get him thinking. But I'm not optimistic, to be honest.

I really hope things get better for you, and there are no more episodes like that, but am glad your resolve is still strong. You should be angry with him for doing something like that!

Starpuss · 11-09-2009, 21:20

Oh Jem!

What a bad time you are going through. How dare he try to manipulate you that way. I am quite angry just thinking about it. Has he no thought for anyone but himself?

You stay strong and don't waver in your resolve to make a new life for you and you children.

I know someone who is currently in an abusive relationship with a manipulative man and you leaving your husband has given me hope that she will be strong too.

We are here if you need us.

*huge hug*

Nia70 · 11-09-2009, 21:30

OMG Jem what a horrible thing to have to go through, you poor thing.

I admire you so much, you seem to be in good shape all things considered, did the kids know about this at all btw?

Id be worried about him seeing them if he is not very together tbh but don't honestly know what Id do about it either.

mirandashell · 11-09-2009, 22:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, Jem. It must have been horrible for you.

Take no notice of what his family think. You *know* what went on in your marriage and you know you had good reasons to leave. What they think doesn't matter.

Stay strong and remember we are here when you need us.

halfacrown · 12-09-2009, 06:16

As others have said, what a low mean thing to do, and reinforces that you were right to leave. Stay strong and dont worry about what his family think, you and your kids well being are paramount. x

25-08-2009, 15:31	#1
Nia70 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cornwall Services: Sky TV, Virgin BB Posts: 201	Smelly Jem Been away for the weekend and got back today, just had a look through the last 12 pages on here and can't find her thread. Has anyone had any contact from her? I was just wondering how she was doing, I know she was thinking about getting that thread pulled.

25-08-2009, 15:32	#2
mirandashell Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Over there somewhere Posts: 1,691	She did put on that one post but I don't think anyone has heard anything since. It would be nice too but I guess she has no access to a puter at the moment. And probably got lots of things to deal with. Hopefully she will get a chance to let us know.

25-08-2009, 15:35	#3
Nia70 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cornwall Services: Sky TV, Virgin BB Posts: 201	Hi Miranda, thanks for the reply. Really hope she does get the chance to let us know how she is getting on. Totally crazy but I thought about her a few times while I was away.

25-08-2009, 15:35	#4
dollymarie Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 1,758	She did post this http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...7&postcount=14 The original thread is still here but no updates on either thread for a few days now. http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...ight=smellyjem Hope shes alright

25-08-2009, 15:38	#5
Nia70 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cornwall Services: Sky TV, Virgin BB Posts: 201	Thanks dolly Much appreciated.

25-08-2009, 22:16	#6
Nia70 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cornwall Services: Sky TV, Virgin BB Posts: 201	Just seen her update, Im happy now

02-09-2009, 15:19	#7
inapickle Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Southampton Posts: 574	Thought I'd bump this. In case she gets a chance to post.

02-09-2009, 15:36	#8
dollymarie Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 1,758	Spooky, I only checked today when she was last online, it seems she hasnt been since she last posted. Jem if you see this, I hope you are ok.

05-09-2009, 11:44	#9
smelly jem Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 981	Hello all , I'm doing very well. Am still at my mums with the children and have got my money sorted out which gives me far more independence The kids are seeing their dad for the second time today which I hope continues to go well. My husband is struggling. I had to speak to him yesterday and he seemed broken. This is sad but I hope he's strong enough to deal with his problems for his sake and the childrens. It's early days but I'm well and strong and looking forward to a happy future

05-09-2009, 11:47	#10
dollymarie Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 1,758	Glad you are sounding so positive Jem, good on you girl. Im sure you feel relieved on top of everything else. Dont let him make you feel guilty for a second, he had years to realise what a diamond he had in you and its no ones fault but his that he's lost that. Keep checking in when you can wont you, there are lots of people here wondering about you. Big hugs, and very proud of you.

05-09-2009, 11:52	#11
chocoholic100 Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 2,130	Hi Jem glad you and the kids are OK, I often wonder how your doing take care and stay strong

05-09-2009, 11:56	#12
mirandashell Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Over there somewhere Posts: 1,691	So glad to hear you are ok, Jem. Stay strong and good luck.

05-09-2009, 12:29	#13
Starpuss Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 3,133	I think about you every day Jem, and send you good luck wishes. You are an inspiration.

05-09-2009, 13:09	#14
isobel040706 Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 29	Oh jem I'm so relieved only because I really did think you had gone back to him. Good luck for the future xx

05-09-2009, 14:17	#15
Tasa Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 8	Jem, I followed your thread but never posted as I didn't have any useful advice to offer. I'm pleased you're doing well, and do keep strong. I left my husband (a long time ago now and we had no children so my decision was perhaps easier to make than yours) and he was absolutely devastated at the time - I actually felt like the guilty one, although it was his behaviour which made me decide to leave. Within a couple of years he had met someone else and remarried, and they had two children together. I also met someone else, so both our lives turned out better as a result of parting. Keep the long-term picture in mind and although I don't know you, I wish you all the best for your future.

05-09-2009, 14:58	#16
halfacrown Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Belfast, OWC Posts: 372	Good luck Jem, the hardest parts over, glad your looking forward to the future, the only way is up!

11-09-2009, 11:46	#17
wench Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,805	Any news Smelly Jem? Hope you are ok

11-09-2009, 20:53	#19
dollymarie Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Brissle!!! Posts: 1,758	God Jem, thats a horrible thing to do to you. A very low trick as you say. Hugs, and I hope you are as ok as you can be. You know where I am if you need a chat. xx

11-09-2009, 21:20	#22
Starpuss Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 3,133	Oh Jem! What a bad time you are going through. How dare he try to manipulate you that way. I am quite angry just thinking about it. Has he no thought for anyone but himself? You stay strong and don't waver in your resolve to make a new life for you and you children. I know someone who is currently in an abusive relationship with a manipulative man and you leaving your husband has given me hope that she will be strong too. We are here if you need us. huge hug

11-09-2009, 21:30	#23
Nia70 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Cornwall Services: Sky TV, Virgin BB Posts: 201	OMG Jem what a horrible thing to have to go through, you poor thing. I admire you so much, you seem to be in good shape all things considered, did the kids know about this at all btw? Id be worried about him seeing them if he is not very together tbh but don't honestly know what Id do about it either.

11-09-2009, 22:00	#24
mirandashell Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Over there somewhere Posts: 1,691	I'm so sorry to hear that, Jem. It must have been horrible for you. Take no notice of what his family think. You know what went on in your marriage and you know you had good reasons to leave. What they think doesn't matter. Stay strong and remember we are here when you need us.

12-09-2009, 06:16	#25
halfacrown Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Belfast, OWC Posts: 372	As others have said, what a low mean thing to do, and reinforces that you were right to leave. Stay strong and dont worry about what his family think, you and your kids well being are paramount. x