[east_boy_16]

Now, this really shouldn't be difficult at all but to me it is. I've been going out with a girl for a few weeks, I met her over the internet and she lives in Luton.

So it's a "long-distance" relationship, but at least i'm seeing her. I'm meant to be seeing her again on Monday, thing is, I haven't told my Dad.

I found it easy to tell my Mum, and my sister and of course friends, but to tell my Dad, every time I think about doing it, I bottle it.

I don't want to tell him because I feel i'll just get asked loads of questions and I am half tempted to not tell him and let him find out, but my Mum & my Sister have done that before and he's expressed his upset about it.

My Mum has offered to tell him, but I think it'd be better he hear it from me. I can't understand why I find this so difficult, but I do, can anyone offer any advice?

[trevalyan]

is your dad some kind of religious puritan or something, who will beat you for giving in to carnal lust?

just tell him for crying out loud!

PS you are a bloke aren't you?

[abarthman]

Sit watching the telly and then turn to him and say, "Dad, did I mention that I've got a girlfriend?"

Then answer his questions.

Easy.

[east_boy_16]

Originally Posted by trevalyan

is your dad some kind of religious puritan or something, who will beat you for giving in to carnal lust?

just tell him for crying out loud!

PS you are a bloke aren't you?

Yeah, I know what you mean. It sounds stupid when you look at it from your point of view.

Originally Posted by abarthman

Sit watching the telly and then turn to him and say, "Dad, did I mention that I've got a girlfriend?"

Then answer his questions.

Easy.

That sounds like a plan.

[punter hitch]

I wouldnt bother telling him yet. You've only been seeing her a few weeks, it could easily go pear shaped at this stage.

[chocoholic100]

there must be more to this story

how old are you?
do your parents live together?
is he strict?

Im not sure I understand the problem tbh

[IC89]

Do you think it would be a case of him not liking the fact it is a long distance relationship, and you met on the internet?

Or are you just not close with your dad?

If I ever have a girlfriend, it wouldn't be the easiest thing for me either, so I understand the OP's point. I'd always be wary of making it public so I wouldnt fall flat on my face if things went pear shaped.

If you are really finding it hard, maybe let your mum tell him, then she can bear the brunt of anything, any questions and any initial reaction he may have.

[Babe Rainbow]

Originally Posted by east_boy_16

Now, this really shouldn't be difficult at all but to me it is. I've been going out with a girl for a few weeks, I met her over the internet and she lives in Luton.

So it's a "long-distance" relationship, but at least i'm seeing her. I'm meant to be seeing her again on Monday, thing is, I haven't told my Dad.

I found it easy to tell my Mum, and my sister and of course friends, but to tell my Dad, every time I think about doing it, I bottle it.

I don't want to tell him because I feel i'll just get asked loads of questions and I am half tempted to not tell him and let him find out, but my Mum & my Sister have done that before and he's expressed his upset about it.

My Mum has offered to tell him, but I think it'd be better he hear it from me. I can't understand why I find this so difficult, but I do, can anyone offer any advice?

Do you think you might be making too much of this ?

Why not just ask her out one evening and get her to meet you at your house. When she arrives, introduce her to your dad - " dad, this is xxxx - we're just off down the pub, see you later "

As you see more and more of her, he will gradually realise that she is your girlfriend and things will flow naturally.


edit - might not work long distance - but can be tweaked - " going to meet some friends in Luton " and just her name keeps cropping up more often than any of the others.

[east_boy_16]

Originally Posted by chocoholic100

there must be more to this story

how old are you?
do your parents live together?
is he strict?

Im not sure I understand the problem tbh

I'm 19
Yes they live together, married
He isn't strict

[jimmy7bellies]

Have you had a girlfriend before? He will probably be happy and relieved that you don't bat for the other side!

[east_boy_16]

Originally Posted by jimmy7bellies

Have you had a girlfriend before? He will probably be happy and relieved that you don't bat for the other side!

Yeah i've had a few girlfriends. I'm sure he'll be happy, there shouldn't be any reason why he wouldn't be.

Originally Posted by IC89

Do you think it would be a case of him not liking the fact it is a long distance relationship, and you met on the internet?

That is probably what i'm worried about most, yes.

Originally Posted by IC89

Or are you just not close with your dad?

If I ever have a girlfriend, it wouldn't be the easiest thing for me either, so I understand the OP's point. I'd always be wary of making it public so I wouldnt fall flat on my face if things went pear shaped.

If you are really finding it hard, maybe let your mum tell him, then she can bear the brunt of anything, any questions and any initial reaction he may have.

I'm close with my Dad, yes, I work with him sometimes. I like that you understand my point in some respect, makes me feel that i'm not the only one who has had this sort of problem.

[Taglet]

Originally Posted by jimmy7bellies

Have you had a girlfriend before? He will probably be happy and relieved that you don't bat for the other side!

Aww my sister was chuffed to bits when her son told her was gay. Mind you he left loads of clues so she already knew but was delighted he had finally had the courage to tell her.

OP I'm sure your dad will be pleased.....but watch out for those embarrassing 'man to man' chats afterwards

[Lily_2008]

Originally Posted by Babe Rainbow

Do you think you might be making too much of this ?

Why not just ask her out one evening and get her to meet you at your house. When she arrives, introduce her to your dad - " dad, this is xxxx - we're just off down the pub, see you later "

As you see more and more of her, he will gradually realise that she is your girlfriend and things will flow naturally.

That's what I was going to say - OP I assume that if the relationship continues to go well she will come and visit you at some point? When that happens you can just introduce her to your dad by her name, there's no need to introduce her as your girlfriend and I'm sure he will realise eventually.

[IC89]

Originally Posted by east_boy_16

That is probably what i'm worried about most, yes.


I'm close with my Dad, yes, I work with him sometimes. I like that you understand my point in some respect, makes me feel that i'm not the only one who has had this sort of problem.

Is your dad a technophobe? because it would make a lot of sense if he was skeptical about a relationship which started online.

Of course you don't have to tell him you met online... wait till the wedding day or something, if he asks how you met, just say it was through a friend or something, and if he presses tell him to keep his nose out :P

I'm close, but not close with my dad, if that makes sense... I can spend a lot of time with him, but emotionally... no way jose, suppose it was the way he was bought up by his dad. Hence why telling him something like that would be difficult for me.

However I haven't had that problem as yet (even at 20) so i'm not stressin out.

[Babe Rainbow]

Originally Posted by Lily_2008

That's what I was going to say - OP I assume that if the relationship continues to go well she will come and visit you at some point? When that happens you can just introduce her to your dad by her name, there's no need to introduce her as your girlfriend and I'm sure he will realise eventually.

And, conversely, if it all goes pear-shaped, he will have worried about telling his dad for nothing

I would just play it by ear - introduce her ( or, if not her in person, then her name into general conversation ) gradually and casually and see how things go.

[moomsie]

He`ll probably be pleased for you. I don`t understand what the problem is and think you`re making it into a bigger deal than necessary

[stickler]

LOL, I really thought you were going to say you were 13, not 19?!

He's a man, you're a man, what's the problem? You're making far too big a deal about it

[Babe Rainbow]

Originally Posted by stickler

LOL, I really thought you were going to say you were 13, not 19?!

He's a man, you're a man, what's the problem? You're making far too big a deal about it

I can see where the OP is coming from.

I have always found it hard to communicate with my dad and I have never talked about emotional things with him.
So it has been the case that I have met a man and been romantically involved for years without ever mentioning it to my dad Weird I know but .... families, eh

[east_boy_16]

Originally Posted by moomsie

I don`t understand what the problem is and think you`re making it into a bigger deal than necessary

Originally Posted by stickler

LOL, I really thought you were going to say you were 13, not 19?!

He's a man, you're a man, what's the problem? You're making far too big a deal about it

You both are right respectively.

I don't understand myself, honest! If I understood, I wouldn't post on here lol.

I've become less of a man now and let my Mum tell him. I really am going to have to work on this whole confidence to tell him thing.

Thanks for all your suggestions.

[IC89]

Originally Posted by Babe Rainbow

I can see where the OP is coming from.

I have always found it hard to communicate with my dad and I have never talked about emotional things with him.
So it has been the case that I have met a man and been romantically involved for years without ever mentioning it to my dad Weird I know but .... families, eh

Exactly, sometimes it's the closest to you that it's the hardest to tell.

When I was going through an utterly shit time in my life aged 16, I didn't go to my mum and dad, I went to a school counsellor, so much easier.

Some people are criticising, saying the OP is being melodramatic, but remember, what's easy to some is very difficult for others, so the OP isn't being melodramatic, because HE finds it difficult, and that's all that matters.

My sister has now been in a relationship with another girl for nearly two years now, has she told me or my parents? No she hasn't, I only know because of Facebook and other obvious giveaways, but she's keeping her very secrative. (not on the same scale but an example)

[Babe Rainbow]

Originally Posted by east_boy_16

You both are right respectively.

I don't understand myself, honest! If I understood, I wouldn't post on here lol.
I've become less of a man now and let my Mum tell him. I really am going to have to work on this whole confidence to tell him thing.

Thanks for all your suggestions.

Oh I soooooooooooo understand where you are coming from

[trevalyan]

OP, are you Jim, from American Pie?

if so, i think i understand

[Brigon]

How is it difficult to tell him other than just coming out with it?

My dad would love it if I told him I had finally found a girlfriend. He asks me all the time if I have met anyone recently.

[Tom_Tit]

Yeah my dad used to ask me if i copped off when i used to go out on the piss.
I am 30 now and been with her 8 years and when i met her at 22 i just took her out for a session in the boozer with him.
Best way to go.

You do sound like a little mummys boy though so maybe you should grow a pair of bollocks you are 19 for gods sake.

[fi~]

just drop your seeing her on monday into conversation then that way he will find out but you dont have to say the words