[BeeBumble]

Not very often I agree with Ian Beale but hey someone has to.

He has three children raised four Jane knew the deal when she married him you cant force someone into raising a child.

And then there's little Bobby shes the only mother his ever really known and I dont think she appreciates him as her own.

[xTonix]

Jane didn't know that Ians son would end up shoting, stopping her from having any kids. I'm on Jane's side with this one, the poor woman hasn't got a child of her own, of course she loves Peter, Lucy and Bobby, but it's not the same. I feel sorry for her.

[cobis]

It is difficult to take sides with this story, it is a bad idea to try and persuade someone who doesn't want any more children to go ahead anyway, and I seem to remember that Ian made it quite clear to Jane even before the shooting that he didn't want another baby, it was only because of his guilt over Steven and then his relief that Jane was okay that made him change his mind, and then of course it turned out that she wasn't going to be able to have a baby anyway, so in that respect Ian made his feelings quite clear from very early on.

But then there is Jane, I can't imagine what it must feel like to want a child when your husband doesn't and it would make things so much worse when the reason you now can't physically have a child is because of that very husband's own child.

I really can't see how this one would be resolved without someone making a huge sacrifice and I have never seen Jane and Ian's marriage as being solid enough to withstand a major stress like this, even before their marriage and Jane's affair with Grant she has never seemed content with Ian, and he seems to treat her like all his previous wives as a babysitter/employee instead of an equal partner.

Perhaps they are not such a good match after all.

[gallovidian]

*puts hand up*

I've only got into EE again recently - where does Bobby come into all this? Where did he come from?

I know that Peter and Lucy are Ian and Cindy's kids, but I haven't the foggiest how Bobby comes into everything.

[samj_namesake]

It's true you can't force someone who doesn't want kids to have kids, but poor Jane, she can't have kids of her own and so desperately wants one.

Also no matter how much you might love your stepchildren, deeply desperately, it's never the same as with your own child and I think thats just what Jane is so desperate to have

[_nomad_]

I can see Ian's point too.

This would be more understandable if Jane was trying to have a biological child, but this adopted baby won't be hers any more or less than Lucy, Peter & Bobby.
I don't understand where she's coming from when she says she wants a baby that's only ever known her as its mother - that's exactly what Bobby is! He never knew Laura, Jane has been raising him since he was about 1, and he calls her Mum. What difference is there between him and an adopted baby?

Originally Posted by gallovidian

*puts hand up*

I've only got into EE again recently - where does Bobby come into all this? Where did he come from?

I know that Peter and Lucy are Ian and Cindy's kids, but I haven't the foggiest how Bobby comes into everything.

Bobby is Ian's son with his third wife Laura

[Kyle123]

Am I the only one who remembers Ian promising Jane they could have a baby moments before she found out that she wasnt able to have them herself. (When she was in the hospital after the shooting)

[norbitonite]

I, too, can see Ian's point. It's just his way of putting it across that leaves something to be desired.

[Sandgrownun]

I don't understand the point of Jane and Ian adopting, the child would be no more hers than Bobby is surely?

[kittykat30]

I'm not taking sides on this, they both have valid points. Jane wants a child and Ian doesn't because he has 4 already, they both in the right and the wrong.

[BeeBumble]

Originally Posted by _nomad_

I can see Ian's point too.

This would be more understandable if Jane was trying to have a biological child, but this adopted baby won't be hers any more or less than Lucy, Peter & Bobby.

That is exactly what I mean, also she said she wants a baby what are the chances of her getting one?

Dont adoption agencies like to give the babies to young couples with no children plus Jane and Ian are experiencing problems in there marriage.

[SULLA]

Have you got X Ray vision?

[SarahJCT]

Originally Posted by Sandgrownun

I don't understand the point of Jane and Ian adopting, the child would be no more hers than Bobby is surely?

Tell that to adoptive parents and the children they have adopted. Bobby is her stepson, she came into the family with him already in it. She wants to raise a child from birth or as near as poss, not just take on another of her husband's children. How many 'mothers' has Bobby had? She's justcthe latest. It's a totally different thing.

And I think in this case, her need to have a child overrides his not wanting one.

[WalfordFanatic]

Originally Posted by SULLA

Have you got X Ray vision?

What is it with you and giving sarcastic answers all the time?

[tenchgirl]

i can see both sides, and its not wise to involve ourselves in a domestic

[SULLA]

Originally Posted by WalfordFanatic

What is it with you and giving sarcastic answers all the time?

It's what being a soaps expert is all about

[Flamethrower100]

Ian should at least let her talk about it to him, and then he can explain that he doesn't want any more children, and the reasons why, in more detail.

Plus he always sees the kids as his, and not Jane's. When it suites him.

Can't he see that the problem won't go away by itself. Jane actualy wants this, and she's not going to have a change of heart over night. You can't just shut somebody up, over something like this.

Maybe he should suggest that she adopt Bobby She's only mum he's ever known.

But I think she's thinking of adopting a newborn to be honest.

[SULLA]

Ian is just being true to his character.

[Eve3275]

Originally Posted by SarahJCT

Tell that to adoptive parents and the children they have adopted.

That's true, but when Jane says she wants to look into a child's eyes and seeing herself looking back (or something like that), how is adopting a baby going to resolve this for her? Imo she'd be better off adopting Bobby who already sees her as his mother.

Originally Posted by SarahJCT

And I think in this case, her need to have a child overrides his not wanting one.

If she plans to raise it with Ian then surely his wishes matter as much as hers do.

[bel110]

Originally Posted by Sandgrownun

I don't understand the point of Jane and Ian adopting, the child would be no more hers than Bobby is surely?

TBH with Jane, I don't think she's thinking about how the child would get there, where it would come from, how much 'hers' it would be as opposed to Bobby ... I think she's just a woman who is desperate for a baby and that is over riding everything else in her life. She's been robbed of motherhood and although she loves her stepkids I think she feels that she's been robbed of that one thing that all other women seem to have so easily ... the chance to have her own baby. Adoption is one route, but I'm sure that if that doesn't work out she'd explore others too.

[BeeBumble]

Originally Posted by SarahJCT

Tell that to adoptive parents and the children they have adopted. Bobby is her stepson, she came into the family with him already in it. She wants to raise a child from birth or as near as poss, not just take on another of her husband's children. How many 'mothers' has Bobby had? She's just the latest. It's a totally different thing.

And I think in this case, her need to have a child overrides his not wanting one.

How does his needs override hers? A baby is a big responsibility they already have three mouths to feed at the moment


As for Bobby she is far more than a step mum in his eyes, he call her mum,when his at nursery and scrapes his knee he crys for his mummy - Jane,when his older and gets girlfriend he'll introduce her to his mother - Jane, she bathes him,cooks his meals,reads him bed time stories, cuddles him when his feeling sad shes already a mum just hasn't realised it yet.

I understand she wants to have a newborn baby but babies grow up and It'll take a long time to get one anyway.

[bel110]

Originally Posted by BeeBumble

How does his needs override hers? A baby is a big responsibility they already have three mouths to feed at the moment


As for Bobby she is far more than a step mum in his eyes, he call her mum,when his at nursery and scrapes his knee he crys for his mummy - Jane,when his older and gets girlfriend he'll introduce her to his mother - Jane, she bathes him,cooks his meals,reads him bed time stories, cuddles him when his feeling sad shes already a mum just hasn't realised it yet.
I understand she wants to have a newborn baby but babies grow up and It'll take a long time to get one anyway.

I think deep down Jane knows all that, but she is just obsessed with the idea of doing everything she can to have her own baby before it's too late. Lots of women have one child and struggle to have a second. It doesn't mean that being mum to one isn't enough, just that the natural maternal instinct is to mother another child.
In the same way I think deep down Jane appreciates Ian's point of view and has said as much, but her needs are just taking over everything for her and that's all she can see.

I get Ian's point of view, but I truely think that he owes her one. His son took away Jane's chance to have her own child and he should do everything he can to make that up to her, whatever his own feelings.

[maria01]

Originally Posted by cobis

It is difficult to take sides with this story, it is a bad idea to try and persuade someone who doesn't want any more children to go ahead anyway, and I seem to remember that Ian made it quite clear to Jane even before the shooting that he didn't want another baby, it was only because of his guilt over Steven and then his relief that Jane was okay that made him change his mind, and then of course it turned out that she wasn't going to be able to have a baby anyway, so in that respect Ian made his feelings quite clear from very early on.

But then there is Jane, I can't imagine what it must feel like to want a child when your husband doesn't and it would make things so much worse when the reason you now can't physically have a child is because of that very husband's own child.

I really can't see how this one would be resolved without someone making a huge sacrifice and I have never seen Jane and Ian's marriage as being solid enough to withstand a major stress like this, even before their marriage and Jane's affair with Grant she has never seemed content with Ian, and he seems to treat her like all his previous wives as a babysitter/employee instead of an equal partner.

Perhaps they are not such a good match after all.

This is how i see it.. i feel for both of them

but Ian could be nicer in dealing with where Janes head is .. unless he wants to loose her...

[mistri]

I can almost see both points of view but the problem I see is that Ian just isn't listening. If they talked it through properly and he really understood what she felt, perhaps she would appreciate his point of view more too.

I do find it a bit strange that she doesn't consider Bobby her own, but I also understand the urge to have a child - it can be so strong - and obviously she can't have one naturally.

Ian needs to realise that maybe she will just go find another man if he won't listen to her.

[BeeBumble]

Originally Posted by bel110

I think deep down Jane knows all that, but she is just obsessed with the idea of doing everything she can to have her own baby before it's too late. Lots of women have one child and struggle to have a second. It doesn't mean that being mum to one isn't enough, just that the natural maternal instinct is to mother another child.
In the same way I think deep down Jane appreciates Ian's point of view and has said as much, but her needs are just taking over everything for her and that's all she can see.
I get Ian's point of view, but I truely think that he owes her one. His son took away Jane's chance to have her own child and he should do everything he can to make that up to her, whatever his own feelings.

I know that its just the way she goes on about wanting her own child and Bobbys not really hers.

Also I dont see how Ian owes her anything Steven shot her Stephen had the gun its not like Ian went up to her and shot her in the stomach I dont see what Ian could of done to stop that it was not his fault Stephen was a psycho (Cindys maybe)