[Bobbii_Dazzla]

I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me over the last couple of years and I am getting worried about how I am starting to feel. I am feeling lately that I don’t want to see anyone and I am staying in the house all the time doing my own thing, I feel like I cannot face the world anymore and every time I step out to try to get my life going something comes along and whacks me back down to rock bottom again so I feel like I cannot take another bashing next time it happens. I am on the verge of tears all the time and I cannot wake up easily in the mornings, I am tired for ages after I wake up, I used to be bright and awake once.
I am worried and a bit scared for myself, I don’t know how the hell I am going to build a future for myself as I feel like trying is futile because I’ll always end up back at the bottom.
I’m not looking for sympathy and I know that I am miles better off than some people are, I am merely trying to know whats wrong with me, I am worried about myself, I can’t pull out of it and its getting a wee bit scary!

[chattamanuk]

What has your Doctor said?

[Bobbii_Dazzla]

Originally Posted by chattamanuk

What has your Doctor said?

I haven't been to the doctor, not worth wasting an appointment on it when someone else who needs it more could have it.

[stillrockin]

Speak to your GP because what you're describing sounds like a depressed state and if it is that there are plenty of options available to get you back into a more optimistic frame of mind.

[chattamanuk]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

I haven't been to the doctor, not worth wasting an appointment on it when someone else who needs it more could have it.

I disagree, make an appointment and discuss your feelings that is what they are there for. They are trained to help you.

[Bobbii_Dazzla]

Originally Posted by stillrockin

Speak to your GP because what you're describing sounds like a depressed state and if it is that there are plenty of options available to get you back into a more optimistic frame of mind.

Originally Posted by chattamanuk

I disagree, make an appointment and discuss your feelings that is what they are there for. They are trained to help you.

Thanks both of you, I'll feel daft going in to a doctors and getting upset though, he'll think I'm crazy or something!

[_radioamerica]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thanks both of you, I'll feel daft going in to a doctors and getting upset though, he'll think I'm crazy or something!

No, he'll think you're suffering from depression. It is a real disease and its not a case of just "pulling yourself together". He'll see people like you all the time, its very common and they were lovely to me when I went about it.

Got this from the NHS website

If you’re depressed you often lose interest in things that you used to enjoy. Depression commonly interferes with your work, social and family life. In addition, there are many other symptoms, which can be physical, psychological and social.

Psychological symptoms:

* continuous low mood or sadness,
* feelings of hopelessness and helplessness,
* low self-esteem,
* tearfulness,
* feelings of guilt,
* feeling irritable and intolerant of others,
* lack of motivation and little interest in things,
* difficulty making decisions,
* lack of enjoyment,
* suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming someone else,
* feeling anxious or worried, and
* reduced sex drive.


Physical symptoms:

* slowed movement or speech,
* change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased),
* constipation,
* unexplained aches and pains,
* lack of energy or lack of interest in sex,
* changes to the menstrual cycle, and
* disturbed sleep patterns (for example, problems going to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning).


Social symptoms:

* not performing well at work,
* taking part in fewer social activities and avoiding contact with friends,
* reduced hobbies and interests, and
* difficulties in home and family life.

[chattamanuk]

As radioamerica has said, it's a real thing, please go to your GP and explain how you are feeling, you will not be wasting their time.

[stillrockin]

ditto what _radiomaerica has said. It's very common and something your GP will be able to help you with. Please don't feel awkward about it and don't let it drag on either.

[Bobbii_Dazzla]

Thanks everyone, you know that post you have done radioamerica has actually made me cry because I ticked off a lot of those pointers to explain how I am feeling and its all just welled up.
I'm fed up of feeling this way and I'll make an appointment at docs to see what he says. Thank you everyone who has bothered to post in here.

[stillrockin]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thanks everyone, you know that post you have done radioamerica has actually made me cry because I ticked off a lot of those pointers to explain how I am feeling and its all just welled up.
I'm fed up of feeling this way and I'll make an appointment at docs to see what he says. Thank you everyone who has bothered to post in here.

Good, I'm really pleased you're going to see your GP asap and I hope you start to feel better before too long.

I left things; thought I'd wake up one morning and feel like 'myself' again and what I actually did was prolong the depressed feeling far longer than was necessary.

[EmmaActual]

ditto re what other's have said, Depression is so insidious, its an illness that actually feeds on itself, and it will try and trick you into believiing that you are okay.

I have had four MAJOR episodes of clinical depression which resulted in hospitalization and/or suicidide attempt or ideation. EVERY time I would swear blind that I was not depressed.

Please go to the GP, you are worth the doc's time and you SHOULD take your symptoms seriously and the doc should too, if you tell him/her how you are feeling, also don't be fobbed off with just drug therapy ask for counselling too.

Good luck!

[_radioamerica]

Good for you You've made a positive step forward by posting here today and once you've gone to the doctors you'll see there are lots of options for treatment.

[Fieldfare]

Oh Bobbii_Dazzla, what makes you think that you would be wasting your dr's time? Of course you must go and see them, there is no point in letting this get any worse when it might be quite straight forward to sort out. If you are feeling this tearful and a bit scared and it has been going on for a while then you have every reason to get a bit of support.

Acknowledging that something isn't right is the first step and asking for help is the second step to getting better. Let us know how it goes.

[robinsbatman]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thanks both of you, I'll feel daft going in to a doctors and getting upset though, he'll think I'm crazy or something!

Which is worse?

• Your GP thinking you're crazy & offering you help
• Your GP NOT thinking you're crazy & offering you help
• You posting here instead of getting professional help, & still having these feelings months from now

It doesn't matter what your GP personally thinks of you. Your GP is trained to provide you with professional help, even if that help comes by referring you to someone else or to another service. It's better to discuss your feelings with your GP than be stuck feeling this way.

[fredster]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thanks both of you, I'll feel daft going in to a doctors and getting upset though, he'll think I'm crazy or something!

If he is a good Doctor he won't. What you are describing are classic signs of depression and you need help. Have a read on Neil's thread, you will find lots of kind posters on there.
Don't worry about taking an appointment someone else needs, you need to see your GP.

[CheeseyDude1337]

Originally Posted by _radioamerica

Got this from the NHS website

If you’re depressed you often lose interest in things that you used to enjoy. Depression commonly interferes with your work, social and family life. In addition, there are many other symptoms, which can be physical, psychological and social.

Psychological symptoms:

* continuous low mood or sadness,
* feelings of hopelessness and helplessness,
* low self-esteem,
* tearfulness,
* feelings of guilt,
* feeling irritable and intolerant of others,
* lack of motivation and little interest in things,
* difficulty making decisions,
* lack of enjoyment,
* suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming someone else,
* feeling anxious or worried, and
* reduced sex drive.


Physical symptoms:

* slowed movement or speech,
* change in appetite or weight (usually decreased, but sometimes increased),
* constipation,
* unexplained aches and pains,
* lack of energy or lack of interest in sex,
* changes to the menstrual cycle, and
* disturbed sleep patterns (for example, problems going to sleep or waking in the early hours of the morning).


Social symptoms:

* not performing well at work,
* taking part in fewer social activities and avoiding contact with friends,
* reduced hobbies and interests, and
* difficulties in home and family life*.

* = i Have slgiht difficulties in family life anyway

When we did this thing in this lesson thing we had last year some of these were used to describe me, and i know the rest myself; Am i Depressed?!

(the

suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming someone else,

one is because i hate alot of people, but this one is only slight

[fredster]

Originally Posted by CheeseyDude1337

* = i Have slgiht difficulties in family life anyway

When we did this thing in this lesson thing we had last year some of these were used to describe me, and i know the rest myself; Am i Depressed?!

(the one is because i hate alot of people, but this one is only slight

You are having problems aren't you at school with a teaching assistant?

[Bobbii_Dazzla]

Thank you so much everyone, I appreciate you all bothering to take time to answer me. I have made an appointment at docs but the earliest they had was next Friday afternoon. Its a step in the right direction now I suppose, I am feeling a bit better at the moment but my mood goes up and down like this. Thanks so much again for all your time and effort.

[ForestChav]

Originally Posted by CheeseyDude1337

* = i Have slgiht difficulties in family life anyway

When we did this thing in this lesson thing we had last year some of these were used to describe me, and i know the rest myself; Am i Depressed?!

(the one is because i hate alot of people, but this one is only slight

You just need people to keep their eyes open for you to make sure you're on the right lines, most of it is no different to what a kid of your age goes through anyway, it's a hard age (11 to midteens). Even though a lot of them probably won't admit to it.

You will probably be fine, but you just lack the maturity to deal with things at the moment, when that slots into place, it will be good. Letting trivial things get on top of you will not help you.

[*Confidential*]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thank you so much everyone, I appreciate you all bothering to take time to answer me. I have made an appointment at docs but the earliest they had was next Friday afternoon. Its a step in the right direction now I suppose, I am feeling a bit better at the moment but my mood goes up and down like this. Thanks so much again for all your time and effort.

Bobbii, <<HUG>> first of all. I'm sorry you're feeling this way, everything radioamerica has quoted is on the nose.

Speaking from experience a few years ago, I went through the same hell, and it is textbook, and like you I didn't want to waste the doctor's time. More I felt stupid because I 'couldn't give myself a shake' to get out of it. Good shakes or good boots up the arse dont work, Same way as breaking your leg, it needs a plastercast to help give it some support while it mends, because you cant physically 'see' what's wrong, doesn't mean the same principle doesn't apply.

When I finally got my arse to the doc, I couldn't tell him what was wrong for sobbing my heart out. Cue a 20 minute talk with him, one sick line, anti d's prescribed and was offered counselling

That's my bit of advice to you, don't keep it in when you visit, let the doctor see how it is affecting you, please leave the stiff upper lip and bravado at the surgery doorstep before you see see doctor. A few months later and I cursed myself for not going earlier, that's how much a few months afterward made to me.
Please let us know how you get on.

[CheeseyDude1337]

Originally Posted by ForestChav

You just need people to keep their eyes open for you to make sure you're on the right lines, most of it is no different to what a kid of your age goes through anyway, it's a hard age (11 to midteens). Even though a lot of them probably won't admit to it.

You will probably be fine, but you just lack the maturity to deal with things at the moment, when that slots into place, it will be good. Letting trivial things get on top of you will not help you.

k (Smilie = Space Filler)

[ForestChav]

Originally Posted by CheeseyDude1337

k (Smilie = Space Filler)

Even so, saying that, if you *are* genuinely worried about yourself you must speak to someone - maybe a teacher you like, or if you would prefer to talk to someone you don't know you could give childline a call. It's better than tearing yourself up over it.

[mumbles26]

Bobbi - good on you for making an appointment with the dr, that's a step in the right direction.

it sounds very much as though you are caught in a vicious cycle.

I liken it to being in a whirlpool, everything going round and round and just when you think you may be getting somewhere near the surface, something drags you under again.

hang in there and all the best with the doctor's appointment - tell him/her everything and don't worry about getting upset.

hugs to you

[Hildabeast]

Originally Posted by Bobbii_Dazzla

Thank you so much everyone, I appreciate you all bothering to take time to answer me. I have made an appointment at docs but the earliest they had was next Friday afternoon. Its a step in the right direction now I suppose, I am feeling a bit better at the moment but my mood goes up and down like this. Thanks so much again for all your time and effort.

I'm really glad you've taken that step forward and made the appointment I know several people have already reassured you that the doctor won't think you're "crazy" but I just wanted to chip in. I'm a medical student and I've done a rotation in general practice. Depression is really common (some estimates suggest 25% of people will suffer from it during their lives) and your doctor won't be shocked if you cry. Lots of patients cry, and I have never seen a GP fazed by it. Some doctors are quite tactile, while others will just sit back and offer you a tissue and wait for you to compose yourself - but even if they just let you cry and don't say anything, it's not because they're judging you, it's because they're trying to give you space and let you talk about the problem in your own time. GPs see depression too often to be judgemental about it. If you're very tearful, then that is a symptom of depression - nothing more, and nothing less.

Good luck getting it beaten into touch so you can get your old self back again.