Age Gaps - Advice

Bethaneeny · 09-11-2009, 17:30

Im 16, and i have a very close friend who is 14 (im in year 12, he's in year 10. We met at school through a mutual friend, and through music). He's supported me through a lot, and is always around for me to talk to, and due to this, we are often seen together by other people.

My friend asked me if I like him as more than a friend, and my answer was

"I don't know, I've don't think about him like that. He's just been through stuff with me, which is why I'm with him a lot. Also, he's 2 years younger than me"

I don't know what my friend thinks, as we both had lessons to go to. Would a 2 year age gap be an issue for anyone else?

Elanor · 09-11-2009, 17:48

I would love a two year age gap. I am currently considering a 17 year age gap.

Zoe Skellington · 09-11-2009, 17:53

There's a 9 year age gap between my boyfriend and me, and we don't notice it anymore.

But I remember what it was like when I was 16, no girl my age would have gone out with a boy 2 years younger.

If he supports you though, and you're close there's no problem. It doesn't matter what others think.

maggie48 · 09-11-2009, 17:56

Age doesn't matter, its how you get on. Don't worry about anyone else, go along with how you feel.

mummypigget · 09-11-2009, 17:57

I think 2 years is sweet, I was with a boy at school for a short time who was in the year below me and it was "cute". I have had much larger age gaps going from 18 months to 28 years. I happily settled on a 12 year gap which my hubby and I have and to be honest, apart from me teasing him on odd occasion (oddly that word looks wrong!), we never notice the difference.

edEx · 09-11-2009, 17:59

My partner and I differ in age by 13 years. Two years seems like a huge amount when you're as young as you are, but really it's nothing at all.

Bear in mind though that there are currently limits on just how much more than friends you and he can be. Don't do anything that could cause problems.

Bethaneeny · 09-11-2009, 18:00

I've never thought of him that way until my friend mentioned it. Year 12 and 10 seems massive, but 13 and 11 doesnt. Maybe next year?

Espresso · 09-11-2009, 18:00

A two year age gap when you're 16 or 14 is pretty significant.

Seeing as I more than 16 plus 14, it is completely insignificant to me.

Bethaneeny · 09-11-2009, 18:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by edEx

My partner and I differ in age by 13 years. Two years seems like a huge amount when you're as young as you are, but really it's nothing at all.

Bear in mind though that there are currently limits on just how much more than friends you and he can be. Don't do anything that could cause problems.

Oh God no. I myself dont feel ready for anything like that, and I know he certainly is. The only complicated thing

Him and my ex best friend (we'll call her X) went out for 19 months.

Me and X had a massive row, and she told him he wasnt allowed to speak to me, ever. That's the reason she dumped him in the first place, because he told her to stop being stupid, and he spoke to me *gasp*

It was a pretty big row, me and X havent spoken since september 2008, and I'd prefer to keep it that way
It's just that me going out with her ex could be very very awkward

ForestChav · 09-11-2009, 18:05

you're only just 16 and he might be almost 15, quite frankly it isn't too much of a big deal - if you get on, that is more important.

killjoy · 09-11-2009, 19:44

Only last week you were moving in with the old BF; try and take life slowly.

Sigurd · 09-11-2009, 19:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by killjoy

Only last week you were moving in with the old BF; try and take life slowly.

Sure you're not thinking of Bethanyboo? See:

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s...553&highlight=

dinolove · 09-11-2009, 20:16

A girl in my year (Year 12) is going out with a boy in Year 10 and its been almost 9 months for them now, so it definately can work. Age isn't a big deal unless you make it into one

ForestChav · 09-11-2009, 21:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by dinolove

A girl in my year (Year 12) is going out with a boy in Year 10 and its been almost 9 months for them now, so it definately can work. Age isn't a big deal unless you make it into one

Doesn't she find him immature? I know people can vary but in general girls tend to mature a couple of years sooner than boys. You would normally expect the age gap the other way.

gandatron · 09-11-2009, 21:48

think the rule of thumb is half your own age, +7 yrs...

gorgeousgirl · 09-11-2009, 22:09

If it was the other way round and you were the one who was 14 and he was the one who was 16 it wouldn't seem so bad.
Nothing wrong with it, if you want it.

skip to the end · 09-11-2009, 22:21

I went out with a boy in the year below me when I was 16/17. I never had a problem with it. We knew each other from various music groups we were both a member of at school and outside. So we were used to being in mixed age groups. It worked out fine for me.

If you like him and he likes you, go for it!

killjoy · 10-11-2009, 06:21

Sorry wrong Beth

IC89 · 10-11-2009, 08:24

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bethaneeny

Oh God no. I myself dont feel ready for anything like that, and I know he certainly is. The only complicated thing

Him and my ex best friend (we'll call her X) went out for 19 months.

Me and X had a massive row, and she told him he wasnt allowed to speak to me, ever. That's the reason she dumped him in the first place, because he told her to stop being stupid, and he spoke to me *gasp*

It was a pretty big row, me and X havent spoken since september 2008, and I'd prefer to keep it that way
It's just that me going out with her ex could be very very awkward

Excuse me, don't ever let other people run your life Beth.

You've not spoken to this girl for 14 months, and you're thinking of sacrificing potential happiness just so things wouldn't be awkward between a girl who clearly is about as mature as a 7 year old, and who you haven't spoken to in ages.

Go for it an enjoy it, everyone should be happy, and should never ever risk that just to appease other people.

09-11-2009, 17:30	#1
Bethaneeny Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,040	Age Gaps Im 16, and i have a very close friend who is 14 (im in year 12, he's in year 10. We met at school through a mutual friend, and through music). He's supported me through a lot, and is always around for me to talk to, and due to this, we are often seen together by other people. My friend asked me if I like him as more than a friend, and my answer was "I don't know, I've don't think about him like that. He's just been through stuff with me, which is why I'm with him a lot. Also, he's 2 years younger than me" I don't know what my friend thinks, as we both had lessons to go to. Would a 2 year age gap be an issue for anyone else?

09-11-2009, 17:48	#2
Elanor Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 4,366	I would love a two year age gap. I am currently considering a 17 year age gap.

09-11-2009, 17:53	#3
Zoe Skellington Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: West Wales Posts: 1,888	There's a 9 year age gap between my boyfriend and me, and we don't notice it anymore. But I remember what it was like when I was 16, no girl my age would have gone out with a boy 2 years younger. If he supports you though, and you're close there's no problem. It doesn't matter what others think.

09-11-2009, 17:56	#4
maggie48 Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 488	Age doesn't matter, its how you get on. Don't worry about anyone else, go along with how you feel.

09-11-2009, 17:57	#5
mummypigget Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,537	I think 2 years is sweet, I was with a boy at school for a short time who was in the year below me and it was "cute". I have had much larger age gaps going from 18 months to 28 years. I happily settled on a 12 year gap which my hubby and I have and to be honest, apart from me teasing him on odd occasion (oddly that word looks wrong!), we never notice the difference.

09-11-2009, 17:59	#6
edEx Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: El Centro de Londres Services: Tiscali TV+ 8MB, Freeview Posts: 3,179	My partner and I differ in age by 13 years. Two years seems like a huge amount when you're as young as you are, but really it's nothing at all. Bear in mind though that there are currently limits on just how much more than friends you and he can be. Don't do anything that could cause problems.

09-11-2009, 18:00	#7
Bethaneeny Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,040	I've never thought of him that way until my friend mentioned it. Year 12 and 10 seems massive, but 13 and 11 doesnt. Maybe next year?

09-11-2009, 18:00	#8
Espresso Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 5,808	A two year age gap when you're 16 or 14 is pretty significant. Seeing as I more than 16 plus 14, it is completely insignificant to me.

09-11-2009, 18:05	#10
ForestChav Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Nottingham - Chavland ♂ Services: VM 10Mb, Sky+, WinHomeServer, Vista, N95, PSP, Sony SCD-XE597 LOSE THE GAME Posts: 21,979 Blog Entries: 8	you're only just 16 and he might be almost 15, quite frankly it isn't too much of a big deal - if you get on, that is more important.

09-11-2009, 19:44	#11
killjoy Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 505	Only last week you were moving in with the old BF; try and take life slowly.

09-11-2009, 20:16	#13
dinolove Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: uk Posts: 167	A girl in my year (Year 12) is going out with a boy in Year 10 and its been almost 9 months for them now, so it definately can work. Age isn't a big deal unless you make it into one

09-11-2009, 21:48	#15
gandatron Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Oxford, Coventry, Hanoi Services: Broadband, subsistence agriculture Posts: 2,394	think the rule of thumb is half your own age, +7 yrs...

09-11-2009, 22:09	#16
gorgeousgirl Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Services: ♥ ♥ ♥ Posts: 2,030	If it was the other way round and you were the one who was 14 and he was the one who was 16 it wouldn't seem so bad. Nothing wrong with it, if you want it.

09-11-2009, 22:21	#17
skip to the end Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Norfolk, UK Posts: 532	I went out with a boy in the year below me when I was 16/17. I never had a problem with it. We knew each other from various music groups we were both a member of at school and outside. So we were used to being in mixed age groups. It worked out fine for me. If you like him and he likes you, go for it!

10-11-2009, 06:21	#18
killjoy Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 505	Sorry wrong Beth