Physical attraction - General Discussion

phonex1976 · 10-11-2009, 13:17

On a scale of 1/10 how important is physical attraction to 'you'?

Say you spot someone that does not 'do it for you' in the 'looks' department, but then you get to know him or her, and you start to see an inner beauty... ... ... would that be enough for you to want more out of that person, i.e a relationship?

Picture

David ® · 10-11-2009, 13:23

Looks are very important when it comes to a relationship. so a 8 or 9 /10. I just couldn't see myself having a relationship with someone who I didn't fancy.

One off sex tho is completely different. 3 or 4 /10
after a few beers 1/10

yes I know its shallow.

IC89 · 10-11-2009, 13:26

It's all about opinion.

you'll get people on here who go for the looks, and they are important (that's not a criticism of them as a person, it's their right)

Others will go for confidence, the person who they are, rather than the looks.

Look, of course looks are important, it's exactly why I am single

. A person shouldn't sacrifice anything in order to go into a relationship. People will end up fancying a person based on their personality, some it will be looks first and then personality.

For me, I don't really have a right to comment, as I have never been in a relationship, but I probably go for looks. One of my friends is amazing as a person, I get on so, so well, but I don't fancy her one iota, so i'd never let anything happen.

Equally, I am friends with a girl who isn't what I would usually find attractive, but at the same time she is so painfull lovely as a person, I can't help but be very strongly attracted to her.

One girl/man's ugly is another girl/man's beauty!

Swings and roundabouts!

phonex1976 · 10-11-2009, 13:30

I actually know quite a lot of 'good looking' people that Marry others that are 'not that good looking' [to put it kindly.] Most of such people are Soldiers that want to settle-down/have families. The theory is, that since they are not that good looking, other men won't want to be with them, so they'll be faithful, however, that often back-fires as a lot of said 'wives' will 'take what they can get' and in my opinion, are usually 100x more slutty than the sexy girls. This is just through personal observation through my whole life.

In saying that, I could/would fall for someone that I was not initially attracted to.

Yewtree · 10-11-2009, 13:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by phonex1976

I actually know quite a lot of 'good looking' people that Marry others that are 'not that good looking' [to put it kindly.] Most of such people are Soldiers that want to settle-down/have families. The theory is, that since they are not that good looking, other men won't want to be with them, so they'll be faithful, however, that often back-fires as a lot of said 'wives' will 'take what they can get' and in my opinion, are usually 100x more slutty than the sexy girls. This is just through personal observation through my whole life.

In saying that, I could/would fall for someone that I was not initially attracted to.

I think that most relationships are a bit more complicated that that - I hope they are anyway! My boyfriend isn't my usual type, but he's such a nice person that I couldn't help falling for him.

Mookle · 10-11-2009, 13:35

I have ended up being in love with a person once before who I loved purely because he was my best friend. He was not my 'type' at all but gradually I fell in love with his personality. Then I found things about him that I found beautiful.

Looks don't last. Of course you are initially attracted to someone because of looks but its the person you fall in love with. Saying that, I do like the person to have looked after themselves a bit body wise. Hygiene is very important too!

Mookle · 10-11-2009, 13:36

oooh and confidence. Not overbearing, but i like a man who is quietly confident.

IC89 · 10-11-2009, 13:38

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mookle

oooh and confidence. Not overbearing, but i like a man who is quietly confident.

This is important.

In August I posted a thread being all 'woe is me' and the main thing that was hit back at me was that even though i'm no looker (seriously) it's the lack of confidence that was hurting me most.

Well, even though it's fragile, I have most definitely improved my confidence, especially around the female sex. I referred to my friend earlier, she has noticed how much confident and relaxed I am, and our friendship has grown because of it.

Not saying DS takes all the credit, but certainly goes to show that confidnece and a GSOH can do wonders for a man!

India_Rain · 10-11-2009, 13:39

I never initially "fancy" someone.
But, if someone can make me laugh like a maniac, whilst stimulating my brain...I will find him gorgeous.

phonex1976 · 10-11-2009, 13:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mookle

I have ended up being in love with a person once before who I loved purely because he was my best friend. He was not my 'type' at all but gradually I fell in love with his personality. Then I found things about him that I found beautiful.

Looks don't last. Of course you are initially attracted to someone because of looks but its the person you fall in love with. Saying that, I do like the person to have looked after themselves a bit body wise. Hygiene is very important too!

10/10 for your comment.

Mookle · 10-11-2009, 13:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by IC89

This is important.

In August I posted a thread being all 'woe is me' and the main thing that was hit back at me was that even though i'm no looker (seriously) it's the lack of confidence that was hurting me most.

Well, even though it's fragile, I have most definitely improved my confidence, especially around the female sex. I referred to my friend earlier, she has noticed how much confident and relaxed I am, and our friendship has grown because of it.

Not saying DS takes all the credit, but certainly goes to show that confidnece and a GSOH can do wonders for a man!

It really does matter an awful lot. If you have convictions in what you say, can be a little bit stubborn as well because you believe in it - then that's attractive.

Oh god I would love to meet someone new now that I liked.

FlikkityFlik · 10-11-2009, 14:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by phonex1976

On a scale of 1/10 how important is physical attraction to 'you'?

Say you spot someone that does not 'do it for you' in the 'looks' department, but then you get to know him or her, and you start to see an inner beauty... ... ... would that be enough for you to want more out of that person, i.e a relationship?

Picture

A person's looks can grow on you, especially if it's someone you've known for a long time. All well and good if that happens. However if it doesn't, they could have the most staggering 'inner beauty' and I just would not be interested in having a relationship with them if I was not attracted to them physically.

Physical attraction is very important to me.

JinnyJinxed · 10-11-2009, 14:07

Society as a whole is very superficial. I have had first hand experience of this.

I am classed as 'nice' but not attractive. Looks-wise one guy told me that I'm "the type of person who will always be single because I don't have the right physical attractability for men". Ok - so he was a jerk, but as a straight female, I don't look particularly feminine no matter what I do with hair or make-up, or clothes, nor do I look masculine, and my features are visibly not symetrical. I also have a body hair issue, that many find utterly repulsive if they catch sight of my arms or legs accidentally...but then again - the media is partially to blame for that one.

I've watched a few of the Dating In The Dark programmes on Living TV. It's fascinating that people get really enthusicastic about others, in the dark, and how they percieve that person, and how their opinions can change as soon as they see that person in the light.

So while, for me personally, it's not a priority, and hate to think of myself as superficial - I do think looks matter for everyone. Humans - on various differing levels are just simply superficial.

Hopeless_Savage · 10-11-2009, 14:08

And this is in the advice section because...?

FlikkityFlik · 10-11-2009, 14:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hopeless_Savage

And this is in the advice section because...?

I was wondering that.

OP, you should ask the mods to move this to GD.

Babe Rainbow · 10-11-2009, 14:13

I think physical attraction is very important but it is not the same thing as physical beauty. A person can be rather unattractive / plain by general consensus but still be sexy as hell

fitnessqueen · 10-11-2009, 14:14

When I met my ex boyfriend 8 years ago he weighed about 14 stone (he is 6 foot tall) and was losing his hair. He has an extremely charismatic personality and the chemistry between us was instant. During our relationship he put on about 3 stones and lost a lot more hair yet I never stopped fancying him until the day he finished with me in June this year. I have never met anyone who has made my spine tingle like he did and I am afraid I never will again

the_melon · 10-11-2009, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by fitnessqueen

When I met my ex boyfriend 8 years ago he weighed about 14 stone (he is 6 foot tall) and was losing his hair. He has an extremely charismatic personality and the chemistry between us was instant. During our relationship he put on about 3 stones and lost a lot more hair yet I never stopped fancying him until the day he finished with me in June this year. I have never met anyone who has made my spine tingle like he did and I am afraid I never will again

I'm sure you will

FlikkityFlik · 10-11-2009, 14:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babe Rainbow

I think physical attraction is very important but it is not the same thing as physical beauty. A person can be rather unattractive / plain by general consensus but still be sexy as hell

So true, Babe !

I remember years ago going out with someone who was erm...not handsome at all. To this day he remains the most unattractive person I've ever dated - I look back now and think "urgh". However, at the time, I thought he was the sexiest thing on two legs. In reality he was quite revolting to look at. (Yes Socha if you're reading this, even I have had my less-shallow moments

)

martinamerlot · 10-11-2009, 14:34

Looks are important but some people place far too much value on them above all else. If there's a meeting of minds in so far as sharing similar interests, beliefs and values, that ultimately means more to me than if he looks like Ray Stevenson.

Oh yes, and while quiet confidence is good, smugness and arrogance are not.

Shappy · 10-11-2009, 14:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnyJinxed

I am classed as 'nice' but not attractive. Looks-wise one guy told me that I'm "the type of person who will always be single because I don't have the right physical attractability for men". Ok - so he was a jerk, but as a straight female, I don't look particularly feminine no matter what I do with hair or make-up, or clothes, nor do I look masculine, and my features are visibly not symetrical. I also have a body hair issue, that many find utterly repulsive if they catch sight of my arms or legs accidentally...but then again - the media is partially to blame for that one.

Most girls have hairy arms and legs - hence the waxing, shaving, etc. that we all do.

Is hair removal not an option for you? What that man said to you was horrid!

HollyG · 10-11-2009, 14:42

Looks are very important - you need to 'fancy' someone to have an intamite relationship with someone - love comes way later.

I instantly 'fancied' my OH - still do. But now it is far far more about personality than looks. There is no way I could remain with someone purley based on looks alone.

I have went out with a few very handsome men in my time and couldn't form any kind of mental relationship with them due to the massive lack of personality!

So yeh, looks initially important, but to form a long lasting and loving relationship you have to have a massive whack of personality also.

(saying that I could happily marry Zac Efron without him ever having to talk to me!

)

MrsBambi · 10-11-2009, 15:22

I seriously contemplated having a relationship with someone who I wasn't attracted to physically because he had a very attractive personality - ticked all the right boxes in terms of being kind, funny, intelligent, considerate, interesting, etc etc.

There were occasions where things could have happened, but I chickened out every time. I just wasn't physically attracted to the guy. I just don't think you can sustain a physical relationship if you don't fancy them.

My problem is that I think I have a tendency to place too high a value on someone's appearance (or have done in the past - I'm trying to break the cycle!), and have ended up in horrible relationships because they have zero personality! (Or rather, they have a personality, but a very unattractive one) sigh

Ricardodaforce · 10-11-2009, 15:25

I am ugly as hell, but have been using the cock-water technique, and MY GOD IT WORKS!

zx50 · 10-11-2009, 15:36

I'd only have a relationship with someone who, that it felt to me as if they'd caused electrical storms to be created within my nervous system. Personality and all the other positive traits aren't anywhere near as much an impact for me as physical attraction is. They are important to me as well on a certain level, but way below physical attraction, though.

10-11-2009, 13:17	#1
phonex1976 Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 403	Physical attraction On a scale of 1/10 how important is physical attraction to 'you'? Say you spot someone that does not 'do it for you' in the 'looks' department, but then you get to know him or her, and you start to see an inner beauty... ... ... would that be enough for you to want more out of that person, i.e a relationship? Picture

10-11-2009, 13:23	#2
David ® Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Gender: Male Posts: 127	Looks are very important when it comes to a relationship. so a 8 or 9 /10. I just couldn't see myself having a relationship with someone who I didn't fancy. One off sex tho is completely different. 3 or 4 /10 after a few beers 1/10 yes I know its shallow.

10-11-2009, 13:26	#3
IC89 Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Leicester Services: Freeview+, Freesat from Sky Posts: 350	It's all about opinion. you'll get people on here who go for the looks, and they are important (that's not a criticism of them as a person, it's their right) Others will go for confidence, the person who they are, rather than the looks. Look, of course looks are important, it's exactly why I am single . A person shouldn't sacrifice anything in order to go into a relationship. People will end up fancying a person based on their personality, some it will be looks first and then personality. For me, I don't really have a right to comment, as I have never been in a relationship, but I probably go for looks. One of my friends is amazing as a person, I get on so, so well, but I don't fancy her one iota, so i'd never let anything happen. Equally, I am friends with a girl who isn't what I would usually find attractive, but at the same time she is so painfull lovely as a person, I can't help but be very strongly attracted to her. One girl/man's ugly is another girl/man's beauty! Swings and roundabouts!

10-11-2009, 13:30	#4
phonex1976 Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 403	I actually know quite a lot of 'good looking' people that Marry others that are 'not that good looking' [to put it kindly.] Most of such people are Soldiers that want to settle-down/have families. The theory is, that since they are not that good looking, other men won't want to be with them, so they'll be faithful, however, that often back-fires as a lot of said 'wives' will 'take what they can get' and in my opinion, are usually 100x more slutty than the sexy girls. This is just through personal observation through my whole life. In saying that, I could/would fall for someone that I was not initially attracted to.

10-11-2009, 13:35	#6
Mookle Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: London Posts: 481	I have ended up being in love with a person once before who I loved purely because he was my best friend. He was not my 'type' at all but gradually I fell in love with his personality. Then I found things about him that I found beautiful. Looks don't last. Of course you are initially attracted to someone because of looks but its the person you fall in love with. Saying that, I do like the person to have looked after themselves a bit body wise. Hygiene is very important too!

10-11-2009, 13:36	#7
Mookle Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: London Posts: 481	oooh and confidence. Not overbearing, but i like a man who is quietly confident.

10-11-2009, 13:39	#9
India_Rain Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Posts: 63	I never initially "fancy" someone. But, if someone can make me laugh like a maniac, whilst stimulating my brain...I will find him gorgeous.

10-11-2009, 14:07	#13
JinnyJinxed Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: London Posts: 172	Society as a whole is very superficial. I have had first hand experience of this. I am classed as 'nice' but not attractive. Looks-wise one guy told me that I'm "the type of person who will always be single because I don't have the right physical attractability for men". Ok - so he was a jerk, but as a straight female, I don't look particularly feminine no matter what I do with hair or make-up, or clothes, nor do I look masculine, and my features are visibly not symetrical. I also have a body hair issue, that many find utterly repulsive if they catch sight of my arms or legs accidentally...but then again - the media is partially to blame for that one. I've watched a few of the Dating In The Dark programmes on Living TV. It's fascinating that people get really enthusicastic about others, in the dark, and how they percieve that person, and how their opinions can change as soon as they see that person in the light. So while, for me personally, it's not a priority, and hate to think of myself as superficial - I do think looks matter for everyone. Humans - on various differing levels are just simply superficial.

10-11-2009, 14:08	#14
Hopeless_Savage Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Gender: Female Location: Derby, England Services: Virgin Media VIP Posts: 2,375	And this is in the advice section because...?

10-11-2009, 14:13	#16
Babe Rainbow Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 14,227	I think physical attraction is very important but it is not the same thing as physical beauty. A person can be rather unattractive / plain by general consensus but still be sexy as hell

10-11-2009, 14:14	#17
fitnessqueen Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Sussex Posts: 2,802	When I met my ex boyfriend 8 years ago he weighed about 14 stone (he is 6 foot tall) and was losing his hair. He has an extremely charismatic personality and the chemistry between us was instant. During our relationship he put on about 3 stones and lost a lot more hair yet I never stopped fancying him until the day he finished with me in June this year. I have never met anyone who has made my spine tingle like he did and I am afraid I never will again

10-11-2009, 14:34	#20
martinamerlot Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Services: I'm a lay-dee! Posts: 3,407	Looks are important but some people place far too much value on them above all else. If there's a meeting of minds in so far as sharing similar interests, beliefs and values, that ultimately means more to me than if he looks like Ray Stevenson. Oh yes, and while quiet confidence is good, smugness and arrogance are not.

10-11-2009, 14:42	#22
HollyG Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Gender: Female Location: Jedward were robbed!!!! Posts: 474	Looks are very important - you need to 'fancy' someone to have an intamite relationship with someone - love comes way later. I instantly 'fancied' my OH - still do. But now it is far far more about personality than looks. There is no way I could remain with someone purley based on looks alone. I have went out with a few very handsome men in my time and couldn't form any kind of mental relationship with them due to the massive lack of personality! So yeh, looks initially important, but to form a long lasting and loving relationship you have to have a massive whack of personality also. (saying that I could happily marry Zac Efron without him ever having to talk to me! )

10-11-2009, 15:22	#23
MrsBambi Forum Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: In my turret Services: Jamie Oliver Posts: 119	I seriously contemplated having a relationship with someone who I wasn't attracted to physically because he had a very attractive personality - ticked all the right boxes in terms of being kind, funny, intelligent, considerate, interesting, etc etc. There were occasions where things could have happened, but I chickened out every time. I just wasn't physically attracted to the guy. I just don't think you can sustain a physical relationship if you don't fancy them. My problem is that I think I have a tendency to place too high a value on someone's appearance (or have done in the past - I'm trying to break the cycle!), and have ended up in horrible relationships because they have zero personality! (Or rather, they have a personality, but a very unattractive one) sigh

10-11-2009, 15:25	#24
Ricardodaforce Forum Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alacant Posts: 7,454	I am ugly as hell, but have been using the cock-water technique, and MY GOD IT WORKS!

10-11-2009, 15:36	#25
zx50 Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Gender: Male Location: Consett area Services: Pentium 4 XP Professional Laptop 10.9Mbit/1.3MB/s Be* Pro Posts: 23,888	I'd only have a relationship with someone who, that it felt to me as if they'd caused electrical storms to be created within my nervous system. Personality and all the other positive traits aren't anywhere near as much an impact for me as physical attraction is. They are important to me as well on a certain level, but way below physical attraction, though.