[chris redfield]

http://denofgeek.com/games/359380/10...u_playing.html

(sorry if this is a repost)

Simon Brew & Mark Pickavance

The Daily Mail has led, as usual, the outrage on Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. But what games would it let us play? Here are our suggestions...

Published on Nov 10, 2009

The Daily Mail - a fairly venomous UK tabloid, for our international visitors - has been coming in for some criticism over the past few weeks, what with the Jan Moir controversy, and now its thoughts on the newly released Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.

But we think that it’s time to give the paper a break. It’s only trying to make the world a better place for us all, after all. And given its expertise where videogames are concerned, we’d like to give it some support. We know that the Daily Mail is likely to be very busy finding new ways to scream at us to live our lives, so we’ve come up with some games that the Mail is likely to be far happier about us all playing....

SINGSTAR: BRITAIN
Gather the entire family all together in one room to belt out solid British uplifting classics such as Land Of Hope And Glory, Pomp & Circumstance (you can hum it) and Jerusalem. A special Nintendo Wii version will motion detect when you bounce up and down like they do on Last Night Of The Proms, and give you bonus Union Jack unlockables. If you complete all the challenges, then you get to send an asylum seeker home!

BORDERLANDS
But only if it’s rewritten so that it tells the tale of the brave men and women patrolling the border of our country to keep those visiting from foreign shores out. It could include an exciting level where you get to render the Channel Tunnel inoperable too. Downloadable content will even take you to Calais so you can NIP THIS PROBLEM IN THE BUD.

POSTAL: WHEELY BIN EDITION
Your mission is simple: you must charge through the streets of a town that has been overrun by the scourge of the modern age: the wheely bin. Can you take them all out, while sending a strong message to your local council in the process? You get extra points for finding the wheely bins that have cameras in them that are SNOOPING ON YOUR EVERY MOVE.

COUNTER STRIKE
Fight back against the striking workers who are BRINGING THE COUNTRY TO ITS KNEES! In this amazing strategy game, you need to come up with lots of different strategies to BEAT THE STRIKERS and SEND THEM A MESSAGE! If you succeed, you get to write a column in The Daily Mail as your reward, and be regarded as a hero for all time!

MANIC MINER
A game set in the 1980s where you take on the role of Glorious Leader Margaret Thatcher in her brave and moving fight against the miners. Can you shut down their pits and put them out of a job without making them manic in the process?

GRAN TURISMO: MODERN BRITAIN
Beat the perils of modern Britain by EXERCISING YOUR RIGHT TO DRIVE LIKE A COCK without being snapped by speed cameras for doing so, or paying any EVIL CONGESTION CHARGES. You unlock extra content if you can drive for 100 miles without picking up a single fine or point on your driving licence.

JANHUNT
Join columnist Jan Moir on her hunt to find new things wrong with modern Britain. You get bonus points here for taking pot shots in the direction of recently dead celebrities, and weaving in as many poisonous views as you can. The high score table is measured via complaints to the Press Complaints Commission.

RISK: THE LISBON TREATY EDITION
A videogame of the classic board game! Conquer each country in rapid succession. Extra points are awarded for finding countries signed up to the Lisbon Treaty without referendum, and discovering where the same country was asked more than once to say 'yes'. If you find them, you get to do the typing challenge – can you write 1000 words of rage on the matter in 20 minutes? There’s a generous expense account waiting for you if you do!

HOME ALONE: THE GAME
People are leaving their homes and being hurt at work and on the street, thanks to the evils of HEALTH AND SAFETY laws. Put a stop to it! Create a climate of fear where every action has an adverse reaction. Can you write enough stories to persuade every Britain to just stay at home and live in terror, even if it's actually fine outside? The fewer people willing to venture out, the higher your score!

COOKING MAMA!
A special edition of the popular franchise, where your job is to to scare people about the content of their food by quoting meaningless surveys and reports regarding whether said products will extend or decrease your life. PLUS! Enjoy the hilarious minigame challenges where you get to screen food for any allergies it might contain! If you find them, you get to design your own front page where, once more, you can SCARE THE SHIT out of all of your readers! Bonus!

lololol very funny reading

[Manic Miner]

nice... They could also have ..."Monononopopoloy" where you have to guess whether House Prices are going up, or Plummeting by record amounts every second day, or "Lady Diana Ace Attorney" where you finally uncover the truth, for the 10000000th time of our Queen of Hearts

[bigwillcv36]

Originally Posted by Manic Miner

nice... They could also have ..."Monononopopoloy" where you have to guess whether House Prices are going up, or Plummeting by record amounts every second day, or "Lady Diana Ace Attorney" where you finally uncover the truth, for the 10000000th time of our Queen of Hearts

I think you are thinking of the Daily Express..!

[whip]

How about Mario Bros, the story of the brave Cooper Griffin and his attempts to repatriate a couple of illegal Italian immigrants.

[The Phazer]

How about Dr. Mail-io, the exciting puzzle game in which you deliberately and repeatedly misrepresent medical evidence about the MMR vaccine and reduce vaccination rates, leading to the deaths of innocent children!

It's fun for all the family. Except for the ones who die due to Paul Dacre's stupidity.

Phazer