[Jay Bigz]

Do you ever get that feeling where your life just feels empty? How do you motivate yourself?

My life is not so bad - Infact, it's pretty cool really. I'm 25, have a fun social life, I'm in good health, and have a close family.

Everything in my life was pretty much perfect until the dreaded 'redundancy' a month ago...

Since then I've been feeling unmotivated, I worry about cash, and I'm unsure as to what I even want to do with my life.

I gave so much to a company, and really thought I had a career there, and just like that it all comes crashing down.

I feel so unmotivated that I've been no-showing to interviews, as they are not jobs that I'm really interested in - this is ridiculous, I know, as beggars can't be choosers and all that!

I kind of feel a bit empty now, and I'm really unsure about where I'm heading next. The thought of another crappy sales job, or starting from the bottom and working my ass for another corporate company depresses me quite frankly...I can't afford to sit here all day making music, and writing screenplays, which is my real passion, with a glimmer of hope that something may happen...

Argh - Life is a complex thing...

What would you do in my situation? Has anybody been here before?

[Andy Carlton]

I think most people have been in this situation at some point...hey...welcome to the REAL world!

You were obviously smitten in your previous job and (like many) think it will last for as long as you want it to - hence the reason you are not interested in any other type of job. It doesn't matter HOW much you give to a company...you are an employee to make THEM money...and nothing more. (apologies for shatterring your illusions here)

You are 25...and I am 39 and I still don't know where I am heading in life. I have learned that there is absolutely NO point in planning your life out because it is already pre-planned for you! Life is not meant to run smoothly for long periods of time...and yes - life can be quite complex at times.

Now...what can you do ? (amongst the other tens of thousands that are in your position) - well, firstly you need to stop dwelling on the past and looking at life through rose tinted glasses because life is far from being 'rosey', and secondly you need to wake up to reality and stop being so choosy about jobs. Sitting down and making music is not going to earn you a living at the moment is it? You need to be more versatile and accept what jobs are going to earn a living...because you are totally correct! 'Beggars can't be choosers' in the current economic climate. If a 'crappy' sales job earns you a living...then it is not so bad is it? Most would be grateful for being given an opportunity to do this...instead you push this opportunity to one side.

Stop being so choosy about having the perfect lifestyle and the perfect job because it is not going to happen, and take NOTHING in life for granted because your life will change periodically every so often... so never get too settled with a current lifestyle as everything can change very suddenly when you least expect it....that's life unfortunately!

You are 25 and starting out in life and it is difficult to accept what life throws at us sometimes but we have to LEARN from our experiences and it is a case of 'living and learning' all the time, and the more knock backs we have...the more we are able to cope with these situations and bounce back. Feeling sorry for yourself is simply NOT an option because you either sink or swim in this life and there is only ONE person who can do something about your life and that is 'YOU' as a person.

Sorry you cannot get the job of your dreams back...so now what do you do? sit there in self pity and whinge on an internet forum of how life is treating you? or do you pick yourself up and start again with a different career and then return to these forums with good advice to everyone else of how you have picked yourself up again from one of life's knock-backs? (I am sure many would appreciate this to be honest)

Stop being so 'choosy' and take what is going on the job front...as for the music, take that as a hobby and see how it progresses...and stop feeling sorry for yourself! Sometimes in life we have to accept the inevitable although it may not be perfect.

[oldtimer55]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Very good advice from Andy.IMO.

[tegan1973]

Originally Posted by Jay Bigz

Do you ever get that feeling where your life just feels empty? How do you motivate yourself?

My life is not so bad - Infact, it's pretty cool really. I'm 25, have a fun social life, I'm in good health, and have a close family.

Everything in my life was pretty much perfect until the dreaded 'redundancy' a month ago...

Since then I've been feeling unmotivated, I worry about cash, and I'm unsure as to what I even want to do with my life.

I gave so much to a company, and really thought I had a career there, and just like that it all comes crashing down.

I feel so unmotivated that I've been no-showing to interviews, as they are not jobs that I'm really interested in - this is ridiculous, I know, as beggars can't be choosers and all that!

I kind of feel a bit empty now, and I'm really unsure about where I'm heading next. The thought of another crappy sales job, or starting from the bottom and working my ass for another corporate company depresses me quite frankly...I can't afford to sit here all day making music, and writing screenplays, which is my real passion, with a glimmer of hope that something may happen...

Argh - Life is a complex thing...

What would you do in my situation? Has anybody been here before?

Not working is one of the worst things in life. Its very normal what you are feeling.

Try and use this time to work out what you want to do. Look into other careers and retrain in something new that you feel strongly about.

[Jay Bigz]

Originally Posted by Andy Carlton

I think most people have been in this situation at some point...hey...welcome to the REAL world!

You were obviously smitten in your previous job and (like many) think it will last for as long as you want it to - hence the reason you are not interested in any other type of job. It doesn't matter HOW much you give to a company...you are an employee to make THEM money...and nothing more. (apologies for shatterring your illusions here)

You are 25...and I am 39 and I still don't know where I am heading in life. I have learned that there is absolutely NO point in planning your life out because it is already pre-planned for you! Life is not meant to run smoothly for long periods of time...and yes - life can be quite complex at times.

Now...what can you do ? (amongst the other tens of thousands that are in your position) - well, firstly you need to stop dwelling on the past and looking at life through rose tinted glasses because life is far from being 'rosey', and secondly you need to wake up to reality and stop being so choosy about jobs. Sitting down and making music is not going to earn you a living at the moment is it? You need to be more versatile and accept what jobs are going to earn a living...because you are totally correct! 'Beggars can't be choosers' in the current economic climate. If a 'crappy' sales job earns you a living...then it is not so bad is it? Most would be grateful for being given an opportunity to do this...instead you push this opportunity to one side.

Stop being so choosy about having the perfect lifestyle and the perfect job because it is not going to happen, and take NOTHING in life for granted because your life will change periodically every so often... so never get too settled with a current lifestyle as everything can change very suddenly when you least expect it....that's life unfortunately!

You are 25 and starting out in life and it is difficult to accept what life throws at us sometimes but we have to LEARN from our experiences and it is a case of 'living and learning' all the time, and the more knock backs we have...the more we are able to cope with these situations and bounce back. Feeling sorry for yourself is simply NOT an option because you either sink or swim in this life and there is only ONE person who can do something about your life and that is 'YOU' as a person.

Sorry you cannot get the job of your dreams back...so now what do you do? sit there in self pity and whinge on an internet forum of how life is treating you? or do you pick yourself up and start again with a different career and then return to these forums with good advice to everyone else of how you have picked yourself up again from one of life's knock-backs? (I am sure many would appreciate this to be honest)

Stop being so 'choosy' and take what is going on the job front...as for the music, take that as a hobby and see how it progresses...and stop feeling sorry for yourself! Sometimes in life we have to accept the inevitable although it may not be perfect.

Straight talking - Nice one!

Well I've got an interview at 2pm, which I'm actually gonna go to - so it's a good start

You're correct though - I am whinging and feeling sorry for myself, when realistically I should appreciate the positive things in my life and get back into swing.

I suppose I'm still quite bitter about never making it into the music industry, at heart, which was always my dream, but life often doesn't go to plan, as you said.

I'll see what happens today anyways - You never know whats around the corner I guess.

[Matty J]

So how did the interview go mate?

[Andy Carlton]

Originally Posted by Jay Bigz

Straight talking - Nice one!

Well I've got an interview at 2pm, which I'm actually gonna go to - so it's a good start

You're correct though - I am whinging and feeling sorry for myself, when realistically I should appreciate the positive things in my life and get back into swing.

I suppose I'm still quite bitter about never making it into the music industry, at heart, which was always my dream, but life often doesn't go to plan, as you said.

I'll see what happens today anyways - You never know whats around the corner I guess.

Firstly...I am glad my reply has at least attempted to wake you up to some form of reality! (I do tell it how it is...and many hate me for it)

I can understand how you feel as I (like many) have been there and got through these issues more than once, and there is only yourself that can do something about your own situation - no one else. Asking for advice in your position only confuses the issue even further.(resulting in being torn between several options of which does not really help yourself as such)

It is obvious that you are into making music and I guess your end ambition is to make it as a band or artist within this category...well....DON'T give this up...BUT at the same time DON'T priorotise it because firstly you need a full time job with a decent income, and then when this is sorted and you are financially stable...then carry on with the music as a second option and see where you go from there.

If you have already written tracks and you have the ambition and have recordings of your works...then you could always send your demo's into 'kerrang Radio Unsigned' where your tracks get national air-play with the hope of a positive result. (you will need to go to the Kerrang radio website and see how to to this) - just giving you positive options here with your ambition.

Put your career FIRST though... and life doesn't always go to plan unfortunatley...but the more you put into what you want to achieve - the better the results! (honestly) We cannot always have what we want in life, so we have to build on 'second options' of which may (or may not) lead us to where we want to be in life.

Life itself can deliver cruel blows at times and we have to overcome this by being ambitious and considering alternative options to get where we want to be. You seem ambitous, but please do not let life's negative fall-backs put you into a situation where you want to give up. You are young, ambitious and probably feel rather down on life...but things will pick up if you want them to because one door opens another - only providing you make the first step.

I wish you the best of luck on the career front, and don't give up on the music scene...but as I say - don't prioritise this...but work with the music as a second possible option.

You are young...just go forward in what you can and don't waste your life by thinking 'self pity' because of one of life's let down's. (we have all been there)

Be positive, and don't be so choosy in life...but be greatful for ANY opportunities that come along and grab them with both hands!

[Jay Bigz]

Originally Posted by Matty J

So how did the interview go mate?

Yeah it went pretty well thanks mate - I've been invited back for a second interview this week, so fingers crossed on that one!

Originally Posted by Andy Carlton

Firstly...I am glad my reply has at least attempted to wake you up to some form of reality! (I do tell it how it is...and many hate me for it)

I can understand how you feel as I (like many) have been there and got through these issues more than once, and there is only yourself that can do something about your own situation - no one else. Asking for advice in your position only confuses the issue even further.(resulting in being torn between several options of which does not really help yourself as such)

It is obvious that you are into making music and I guess your end ambition is to make it as a band or artist within this category...well....DON'T give this up...BUT at the same time DON'T priorotise it because firstly you need a full time job with a decent income, and then when this is sorted and you are financially stable...then carry on with the music as a second option and see where you go from there.

If you have already written tracks and you have the ambition and have recordings of your works...then you could always send your demo's into 'kerrang Radio Unsigned' where your tracks get national air-play with the hope of a positive result. (you will need to go to the Kerrang radio website and see how to to this) - just giving you positive options here with your ambition.

Put your career FIRST though... and life doesn't always go to plan unfortunatley...but the more you put into what you want to achieve - the better the results! (honestly) We cannot always have what we want in life, so we have to build on 'second options' of which may (or may not) lead us to where we want to be in life.

Life itself can deliver cruel blows at times and we have to overcome this by being ambitious and considering alternative options to get where we want to be. You seem ambitous, but please do not let life's negative fall-backs put you into a situation where you want to give up. You are young, ambitious and probably feel rather down on life...but things will pick up if you want them to because one door opens another - only providing you make the first step.

I wish you the best of luck on the career front, and don't give up on the music scene...but as I say - don't prioritise this...but work with the music as a second possible option.

You are young...just go forward in what you can and don't waste your life by thinking 'self pity' because of one of life's let down's. (we have all been there)

Be positive, and don't be so choosy in life...but be greatful for ANY opportunities that come along and grab them with both hands!

Thanks again for the sound advice Andy!!

I'm in the process of psyching myself up at the moment, with a second interview next week for a decent job - If I don't manage to bag that one, I'm just going to have to take what evers on offer for the christmas period, and do some kind of temp work (sucks, but gotta be done), and hope for a fresh start in the new year!

I have albums worth of music material from over the last few years, but have never really made a major effort to distribute it, just thinking that an opportunity would fall in my lap, and it didn't....At 25, I kind of feel like I'm too old to be chasing that music dream, but I will always always make music, as that is what I love, and if anything ever does happen, then cool - I'm more concerned with a stable career right now, and making money.

My life has always been a rollercoaster of ups and downs, incredible luck, and hard falls - I always seem to pull through and come out ok, so I just need to bring the positivity back into play and stop whining really!

[mumbles26]

hang in there Jay. You sound like a really level headed, strong person so you'll be ok I'm sure.

You're never too old to 'chase a dream', you sound like you have the oomph to go for it, even though you are struggling at the moment.

good luck

[slipstream42]

Hi Jay

Im in the same situation but so far I have had no luck of even getting as far as an interivew! I used to work in admin then lost my job becuase of the credit crunch. Ive been out since the start of 2009 but I still keep hammering away. Ive even gone for shelf stacking and shop floor work which I would hate but hey its money!

As for the music dont ever give that up! I have a mate who produces dance music and he is in the same situation as me on the dole and scrabbling around for work. Luckily he as the chat to get in places and get advice on lots of stuff, he has lots of accounts all over the internet and has received radio 1 airplay, internet radio etc etc. He is still keeping the dream alive whilst looking for work, when i speak to him he always says music is an escape and always helps to calm him down when in trouble or worried.

My advice is keep plugging away with trying to get jobs and also keep at your music cos you never know when you will make. You gotta believe that you wil do it cos if you dont it wont happen

[Jay Bigz]

Originally Posted by mumbles26

hang in there Jay. You sound like a really level headed, strong person so you'll be ok I'm sure.

You're never too old to 'chase a dream', you sound like you have the oomph to go for it, even though you are struggling at the moment.

good luck

Thanks mumbles - Appreciate the kind words!

Originally Posted by slipstream42

Hi Jay

Im in the same situation but so far I have had no luck of even getting as far as an interivew! I used to work in admin then lost my job becuase of the credit crunch. Ive been out since the start of 2009 but I still keep hammering away. Ive even gone for shelf stacking and shop floor work which I would hate but hey its money!

As for the music dont ever give that up! I have a mate who produces dance music and he is in the same situation as me on the dole and scrabbling around for work. Luckily he as the chat to get in places and get advice on lots of stuff, he has lots of accounts all over the internet and has received radio 1 airplay, internet radio etc etc. He is still keeping the dream alive whilst looking for work, when i speak to him he always says music is an escape and always helps to calm him down when in trouble or worried.

My advice is keep plugging away with trying to get jobs and also keep at your music cos you never know when you will make. You gotta believe that you wil do it cos if you dont it wont happen

Times can be hard - I guess we just have to keep the head up high to get through it!!

Regarding the music, its definitely a form of escapism for me too!!

You can check out one of my new tracks if you want...

http://www.zshare.net/audio/684785790630c04f/

Obviously, this one was made when I was in a more 'upbeat' mood