Best ever newspaper headlines - Print Media

jojo01 · 01-07-2006, 11:03

I've just seen on another thread the 'Your country needs Roo' headline on both the Sun and the Mirror. Mildly amusing I grant you, but not the best ever. So, what's the best ever newspaper headline you've seen?

My favourite was last year during Jacko's trial - he turned up to court one day in his nightwear and there was a photo on the front page of The Sun - the headline was "Bananas in Pyjamas"

There was also one a fair few years ago on the back of the Evening Standard where they used to have snippets of late news. The headline read "Sticky Buns kill 31 in China" (I was almost disappointed to read that the buns hadn't gone on a rampage in the bakery, but it was food poisoning).

Your turn

craigr98 · 02-07-2006, 14:02

"Tony Blair leaves No10 for the final time". Daily Telegraph 03/07/06

Dewain deBley · 02-07-2006, 14:14

Margaret Thatcher ousted in Coup - Daily Mail November 1990

And that wasn't a fantasy - Hurrah !

Oh Happy Day - when Margaret walked - Oh Happy Day !

Joe'sgirl · 02-07-2006, 14:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewain deBley

Margaret Thatcher ousted in Coup - Daily Mail November 1990

And that wasn't a fantasy - Hurrah !

Oh Happy Day - when Margaret walked - Oh Happy Day !

Next year you can change Margaret to Tony - or Gordon - neither will survive the next election...and stop copying me please. that is MY tune.

If you want to have a pop at someone, be original...if you can.

Pencil · 02-07-2006, 14:38

"John Prescott Ate My Hamster"

Or was that someone else?

kimindex · 02-07-2006, 14:40

About lack of library services in Essex:

Book Lack in Ongar

and, of course:

Super Cally are fantastic; Celtic were atrocious

about a football match.

Dewain deBley · 02-07-2006, 15:01

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe'sgirl

... and stop copying me please. that is MY tune.

If you want to have a pop at someone, be original...if you can ...

Actually Dear Heart, I think you will find that you have unbeknowingly, in a subliminal sense, copied me ! I used this very song, by the Edwin Hawkins Singers, on a thread several weeks ago: one about mishearing, or misunderstanding the lyrics of a song.

I have seen several occasions when people have later used the very same phrases as my brilliant, witty self, and if confronted, would resolutely claim that it just popped into their very own little head. The workings of the human mind are indeed mysterious !

Pray be original next time - if that is ever possible, for a Tory, who is so beholden to the past !

02-07-2006, 15:23

A picture of Neil Kinnocks face inside a huge lightbulb with the words,.....If Labour win tomorrow will the last person to leave this country please turn out the lights.

Joe'sgirl · 02-07-2006, 15:30

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dewain deBley

Actually Dear Heart, I think you will find that you have unbeknowingly, in a subliminal sense, copied me ! I used this very song, by the Edwin Hawkins Singers, on a thread several weeks ago: one about mishearing, or misunderstanding the lyrics of a song.

I have seen several occasions when people have later used the very same phrases as my brilliant, witty self, and if confronted, would resolutely claim that it just popped into their very own little head. The workings of the human mind are indeed mysterious !

Pray be original next time - if that is ever possible, for a Tory, who is so beholden to the past !

Well you certainly like to leave your past behind...do you not?

Your style, florid choice of words, format of your user name. You are either a born again FM, or a copycat!

nathanbrazil · 02-07-2006, 18:29

The best headlines we never got to see...

'Princess Diana's Black Baby'

'Sworded Sven Sacked'

'Blair Admits, I'm a lying git'

02-07-2006, 19:30

When Terry's chocolate factory passed into new ownership our local paper had "Terry's all sold"

handymelon · 02-07-2006, 20:01

Two historical ones which I love dearly.

On the wartime Prime Minister returning to the front line by air:
CHURCHILL FLIES BACK TO FRONT

On the polar explorer, Dr Vivian Fuchs, setting off on a new expedition:
DR FUCHS OFF TO THE ANTARCTIC

Both real, I promise!

02-07-2006, 23:29

"UDDER ATTACK- MILK DEMONSTRATION TURNS SOUR".

Can't remember what it was about, but it tickled me!

Paul254 · 03-07-2006, 10:05

KNOB OF BUTTER!-kid finds image of penis in a tub of butter.

TARA RAW BUM DISPLAY- TPT's ass all over Sun.

steviem · 03-07-2006, 11:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimindex

About lack of library services in Essex:

Book Lack in Ongar

and, of course:

Super Cally are fantastic; Celtic were atrocious

about a football match.

The actual headline was even better, it was after Inverness Caley beat Celtic in a cup match.
Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic are Atriocious.

tanstaafl · 09-07-2006, 11:58

Fog in the Channel. Continent cut off.

Babe Rainbow · 09-07-2006, 12:22

Di Doe-Eyed over Dodi

Sven945 · 10-07-2006, 12:01

"Diana fund pays out to Gypsies and Asylum Seekers".

Ticks all three boxes for the Express's favourite things. PLUS there was a headline above it saying "Yes, it's hard to believe, but now Santa AND Christmas Lights have been banned". Tick's the final box for the Express's obsessions.

jack

ajdal · 10-07-2006, 12:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by steviem

The actual headline was even better, it was after Inverness Caley beat Celtic in a cup match.
Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic are Atriocious.

remember it well - absolutley awesome !!!. The sun guy who thought it up should have been knighted.

soapboyz2005 · 11-07-2006, 11:48

After England lost to Sweden at football.

Swedes 1
Turnips 0

Not sure I have the goals correct, but hey.

mikw · 11-07-2006, 12:48

For me the best one was in the sun. It was about a policman who became a policeWOMAN and wasn't sacked.
The Headline read:

"NO KNOBBIE BOBBY KEEPS JOBBY".

kimindex · 11-07-2006, 12:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by steviem

The actual headline was even better, it was after Inverness Caley beat Celtic in a cup match.
Super Cally Go Ballistic, Celtic are Atriocious.

Ah, yes! That is better!

dvboy · 11-07-2006, 15:20

The Indy had a good one last week, in Mrs Merton style:

"So, Mr Prescott, what first attracted you to the billionaire, Philip Anschutz?"

Paul_7 · 11-07-2006, 20:19

"ZIP ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO"

fletchem · 13-07-2006, 08:19

An ex colleague used to work on an industry title. He covered an article about a new computer system at Estee Lauder and his headline was "Scents and Sensible IT" - I thought it was clever.

01-07-2006, 11:03	#1
jojo01 Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Services: VM BB, TV & Phone Posts: 4,310	Best ever newspaper headlines I've just seen on another thread the 'Your country needs Roo' headline on both the Sun and the Mirror. Mildly amusing I grant you, but not the best ever. So, what's the best ever newspaper headline you've seen? My favourite was last year during Jacko's trial - he turned up to court one day in his nightwear and there was a photo on the front page of The Sun - the headline was "Bananas in Pyjamas" There was also one a fair few years ago on the back of the Evening Standard where they used to have snippets of late news. The headline read "Sticky Buns kill 31 in China" (I was almost disappointed to read that the buns hadn't gone on a rampage in the bakery, but it was food poisoning). Your turn

02-07-2006, 14:02	#2
craigr98 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: London Services: Virgin Broad0band 8MB, T-Mobile Solo 15, Humax 9200T Posts: 646	"Tony Blair leaves No10 for the final time". Daily Telegraph 03/07/06

02-07-2006, 14:14	#3
Dewain deBley Banned User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra Services: Somewhere betwixt Heaven & Hell Posts: 793	Margaret Thatcher ousted in Coup - Daily Mail November 1990 And that wasn't a fantasy - Hurrah ! Oh Happy Day - when Margaret walked - Oh Happy Day !

02-07-2006, 14:38	#5
Pencil Forum Member Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Essex Posts: 2,097	"John Prescott Ate My Hamster" Or was that someone else?

02-07-2006, 14:40	#6
kimindex Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Cornwall (ex-London) Posts: 39,651	About lack of library services in Essex: Book Lack in Ongar and, of course: Super Cally are fantastic; Celtic were atrocious about a football match.

02-07-2006, 15:23	#8
Jim Posts: n/a	A picture of Neil Kinnocks face inside a huge lightbulb with the words,.....If Labour win tomorrow will the last person to leave this country please turn out the lights.

02-07-2006, 18:29	#10
nathanbrazil Forum Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Isle of Wight, UK Posts: 4,866	The best headlines we never got to see... 'Princess Diana's Black Baby' 'Sworded Sven Sacked' 'Blair Admits, I'm a lying git'

02-07-2006, 19:30	#11
Yorkdel Posts: n/a	When Terry's chocolate factory passed into new ownership our local paper had "Terry's all sold"

02-07-2006, 20:01	#12
handymelon Forum Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Cloud Cuckoo Land Services: Holy Communion Posts: 4,133	Two historical ones which I love dearly. On the wartime Prime Minister returning to the front line by air: CHURCHILL FLIES BACK TO FRONT On the polar explorer, Dr Vivian Fuchs, setting off on a new expedition: DR FUCHS OFF TO THE ANTARCTIC Both real, I promise!

02-07-2006, 23:29	#13
Sirius Posts: n/a	"UDDER ATTACK- MILK DEMONSTRATION TURNS SOUR". Can't remember what it was about, but it tickled me!

03-07-2006, 10:05	#14
Paul254 Forum Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 303	KNOB OF BUTTER!-kid finds image of penis in a tub of butter. TARA RAW BUM DISPLAY- TPT's ass all over Sun.

09-07-2006, 11:58	#16
tanstaafl Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Gender: Male Location: London Services: ntl telephone, tv & broadband Posts: 8,338	Fog in the Channel. Continent cut off.

09-07-2006, 12:22	#17
Babe Rainbow Forum Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Gender: Female Posts: 14,693	Di Doe-Eyed over Dodi

10-07-2006, 12:01	#18
Sven945 Forum Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,066	"Diana fund pays out to Gypsies and Asylum Seekers". Ticks all three boxes for the Express's favourite things. PLUS there was a headline above it saying "Yes, it's hard to believe, but now Santa AND Christmas Lights have been banned". Tick's the final box for the Express's obsessions. jack

11-07-2006, 11:48	#20
soapboyz2005 Forum Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Greenwich Services: Soaps Galore Posts: 4,673 Blog Entries: 20	After England lost to Sweden at football. Swedes 1 Turnips 0 Not sure I have the goals correct, but hey.

11-07-2006, 12:48	#21
mikw Forum Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 14,366	For me the best one was in the sun. It was about a policman who became a policeWOMAN and wasn't sacked. The Headline read: "NO KNOBBIE BOBBY KEEPS JOBBY".

11-07-2006, 15:20	#23
dvboy Forum Member Join Date: May 2002 Location: Wolverhampton, West Midlands Services: DTT (Wrekin) Posts: 2,609	The Indy had a good one last week, in Mrs Merton style: "So, Mr Prescott, what first attracted you to the billionaire, Philip Anschutz?"

11-07-2006, 20:19	#24
Paul_7 Forum Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: London / Herts Posts: 270	"ZIP ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO"

13-07-2006, 08:19	#25
fletchem Forum Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Gender: Male Location: Kent, UK Services: SkyHD¦Virgin20MbBB¦40" 1080P LCD¦N900¦BFO LPG V8 Discovery Posts: 1,505	An ex colleague used to work on an industry title. He covered an article about a new computer system at Estee Lauder and his headline was "Scents and Sensible IT" - I thought it was clever.