[FriendlyGoat]

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months now. We haven't been going out as such, just casually seeing each other for you-know-what, and that was the agreement, that it was nothing serious, just a bit of casual sex and company. Now she is seeing another guy, dating him properly, we still talk on the internet though.

I am finding it very difficult to get over her, because I have become too emotionally attached, while she has not become attached to me. I always get into these situations, and find it difficult to move on. It's not even like I want to go out with her: she's something of a, erm, harlot it appears (like throwing a hotdog down a corridor, if you get my drift), with a lot more experience than me, but knowing some other man is touching her and being with her is what hurts.

Plus she also still talks to me online and via text, and is still flirty with me, which doesn't help. I mean, she is seeing another guy now, so what is that all about?!

I'm not sure what advice I'm after here to be honest. I suppose I just want to know how people who have been in proper relationships get over someone. I have very limited experience of this sort of thing. It will just pass, won't it? I'm not particularly attracted to her personality, so I should get over her quite quickly?

[Singlesis]

Sorry to hear your feeling so bad. I had a similar conversation this week and realised that it's the missing having someone around that hurts most. Some one you can relate to even if they don't suit your specific needs.

I'm sure it will ease soon - thats what people say init?

Go out - you'll find your okay. and you know what else i heard this week? There are 12 women to every man so your gonna be back soon riding high again.

lucky for you. not so lucky for me I dumped my man by text - very much regret it. too late now. I'm now one of the 12 vying for a great man like you!

Ok a relationship like that that was sexual rather than emotional can surprisingly mean love. You may not be "in love" but you love her beauty. Sounds silly but it is fact and can be just as bonding and meaningful as someone who loves someone emotionally and sexually, or just emotionally.

It is very painful when things are too late as it were. If you get hurt or realise late things maybe more than what they seemed it is a boot in the teeth but it makes us a bit stronger.

I have been with partners who I have been madly in love with their personality but wasn't sexually attracted to them doesn't mean I loved them any less. Same works in your situation only of course it is vice versa.

Go out find your true love. you seem like a decent bloke.

I can't say a great deal more as I am in the same boat I am single and have been ages because In my case trust is hard after all the hurt I been put through. However If i dwelled ALWAYS on what they are like anger and hurt would stop me moving on for even longer.You never get over hurt or even at times partners but it is possible to ease it to a 1% level.

[Gurgles]

I'm taking it from your post that this was a f*** buddy type relationship. Horses for courses and all that but it isn't for everyone and it doesn't sound like it's for you.

You do sound like a decent bloke; it also sounds like you lack in confidence a bit. Maybe you should work on that. Block this woman's number and concentrate on finding a girl that you click with beyond the sexual. It's a relationship you want not just a shag.

All the best to you.

[FriendlyGoat]

Originally Posted by Singlesis

Sorry to hear your feeling so bad. I had a similar conversation this week and realised that it's the missing having someone around that hurts most. Some one you can relate to even if they don't suit your specific needs.

Yes, that is very true. A lot of it has to do with missing the company as much as it is missing the sex.

Ok a relationship like that that was sexual rather than emotional can surprisingly mean love. You may not be "in love" but you love her beauty. Sounds silly but it is fact and can be just as bonding and meaningful as someone who loves someone emotionally and sexually, or just emotionally.

Yeah, I told her many times that I thought she was beautiful, and I suppose I do love her beauty, if only physically. I think that for me having sex with anyone causes me to become attached to them emotionally, whereas it seems that other people can 'just have sex' and move on. I'm just too clingy for my own good, and too emotional with it.

I'm taking it from your post that this was a f*** buddy type relationship. Horses for courses and all that but it isn't for everyone and it doesn't sound like it's for you.

You do sound like a decent bloke; it also sounds like you lack in confidence a bit. Maybe you should work on that. Block this woman's number and concentrate on finding a girl that you click with beyond the sexual. It's a relationship you want not just a shag.

I suppose it was that sort of relationship yes, I've never had that sort of relationship before, and I won't again, as it isn't something I can deal with, whereas many people obviously can.. you know, tell the difference between 'just sex' and something more.

I do lack confidence yes, how did you pick that up from my post?

[Gurgles]

Originally Posted by FriendlyGoat

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months now. We haven't been going out as such, just casually seeing each other for you-know-what, and that was the agreement, that it was nothing serious, just a bit of casual sex and company. Now she is seeing another guy, dating him properly, we still talk on the internet though.

I am finding it very difficult to get over her, because I have become too emotionally attached, while she has not become attached to me. I always get into these situations, and find it difficult to move on. It's not even like I want to go out with her: she's something of a, erm, harlot it appears (like throwing a hotdog down a corridor, if you get my drift), with a lot more experience than me, but knowing some other man is touching her and being with her is what hurts.

Plus she also still talks to me online and via text, and is still flirty with me, which doesn't help. I mean, she is seeing another guy now, so what is that all about?!

I'm not sure what advice I'm after here to be honest. I suppose I just want to know how people who have been in proper relationships get over someone. I have very limited experience of this sort of thing. It will just pass, won't it? I'm not particularly attracted to her personality, so I should get over her quite quickly?

It was the statements in bold that indicated to me that you lack confidence in yourself. I wouldn't be able to handle that sort of set up either. It seems that what you want is a relationship but you're settling for the dregs because you don't have the confidence to seek out something better.

I too have lacked confidence in myself so I tend to pick it up in others. Maybe some counselling would help you. Anyway you've learned from this to steer clear of casual relationships. You sound very nice so just work on becoming more confident as a person till you meet someone who'll appreciate your qualities.

[tuppy26]

Originally Posted by Singlesis

I dumped my man by text - very much regret it. too late now.

Are u the one that the other thread was about then?

I hate to sound boring but time really is a great healer.

Try blocking her number and msn, it will make it much easier for you to resist temptation. It can be hard to want what we can't have but when they are there all the time it is even harder to get over them.

Good luck I am sure you will get over her eventually.

[caz_1969]

Originally Posted by MissLash

I hate to sound boring but time really is a great healer.

Try blocking her number and msn, it will make it much easier for you to resist temptation. It can be hard to want what we can't have but when they are there all the time it is even harder to get over them.

Good luck I am sure you will get over her eventually.

I agree with MissLash, you have to stop talking online to make it easier for you.

Get out and enjoy yourself

[Singlesis]

It wasn't me but i think i may have to start a thread for closure

[blueblade]

Originally Posted by FriendlyGoat

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months now. We haven't been going out as such, just casually seeing each other for you-know-what, and that was the agreement, that it was nothing serious, just a bit of casual sex and company. Now she is seeing another guy, dating him properly, we still talk on the internet though.

I am finding it very difficult to get over her, because I have become too emotionally attached, while she has not become attached to me. I always get into these situations, and find it difficult to move on. It's not even like I want to go out with her: she's something of a, erm, harlot it appears (like throwing a hotdog down a corridor, if you get my drift), with a lot more experience than me, but knowing some other man is touching her and being with her is what hurts.

Plus she also still talks to me online and via text, and is still flirty with me, which doesn't help. I mean, she is seeing another guy now, so what is that all about?!

I'm not sure what advice I'm after here to be honest. I suppose I just want to know how people who have been in proper relationships get over someone. I have very limited experience of this sort of thing. It will just pass, won't it? I'm not particularly attracted to her personality, so I should get over her quite quickly?

You need to detach yourself emotionally, find another gf, and then tell this "harlot" all about her, cheerfully, online, describing how gorgeous she is.

You will find that she won't be as shallow and flirty after that. In fact I doubt she will converse at all. Trust an old expert in these matters

It's the emotional attachment which does people in. Remove that, and you won't care at all.

[malaikah]

Originally Posted by FriendlyGoat

(like throwing a hotdog down a corridor, if you get my drift)

Isn't this something more to do with the size of your d*ck

[FriendlyGoat]

Originally Posted by blueblade

You need to detach yourself emotionally, find another gf, and then tell this "harlot" all about her, cheerfully, online, describing how gorgeous she is.

You will find that she won't be as shallow and flirty after that. In fact I doubt she will converse at all. Trust an old expert in these matters

It's the emotional attachment which does people in. Remove that, and you won't care at all.

Yes, I need to try and remove the emotional attachment, which is the difficult part.

Isn't this something more to do with the size of your d*ck

The size of my package definitely wasn't the issue here. I don't want to get too graphic but yeah, she wasn't exactly a virgin.

[malaikah]

Originally Posted by FriendlyGoat

The size of my package definitely wasn't the issue here. I don't want to get too graphic but yeah, she wasn't exactly a virgin.

We only have your word for that. Somewhat immature and unneccessary to bring your opinion on her chuff into things.

[MGS4SnakeRulez]

Originally Posted by FriendlyGoat

I have been seeing a girl for a couple of months now. We haven't been going out as such, just casually seeing each other for you-know-what, and that was the agreement, that it was nothing serious, just a bit of casual sex and company. Now she is seeing another guy, dating him properly, we still talk on the internet though.

I am finding it very difficult to get over her, because I have become too emotionally attached, while she has not become attached to me. I always get into these situations, and find it difficult to move on. It's not even like I want to go out with her: she's something of a, erm, harlot it appears (like throwing a hotdog down a corridor, if you get my drift), with a lot more experience than me, but knowing some other man is touching her and being with her is what hurts.

Plus she also still talks to me online and via text, and is still flirty with me, which doesn't help. I mean, she is seeing another guy now, so what is that all about?!

I'm not sure what advice I'm after here to be honest. I suppose I just want to know how people who have been in proper relationships get over someone. I have very limited experience of this sort of thing. It will just pass, won't it? I'm not particularly attracted to her personality, so I should get over her quite quickly?

Might sound cruel but no sympathy. It was just casual sex, you got attacked and she didnt. Your problem. You say you dont want to go out with her yet you dont like the idea of someone else touching her. Just selfish if you ask me sounds like you just wanna keep her on tap for a shag whenever you feel like it. Break all contact and move on if you cant handle a bit of flirting.

[FriendlyGoat]

Originally Posted by MGS4SnakeRulez

Might sound cruel but no sympathy. It was just casual sex, you got attacked and she didnt. Your problem. You say you dont want to go out with her yet you dont like the idea of someone else touching her. Just selfish if you ask me sounds like you just wanna keep her on tap for a shag whenever you feel like it. Break all contact and move on if you cant handle a bit of flirting.

No I don't, if I want sex I can have it with someone else.

I'm just confused about my feelings I suppose. I clearly want to get past her but I am finding that difficult, I become too attached to people.