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Fringe names best and worst festival jokes

By
Jack Whitehall

© Rex Features

The Edinburgh Fringe has revealed the best and worst jokes at this year's festival.

Quick-fire pun merchant Tim Vine won the funniest joke award, sponsored by TV channel Dave, for his one-liner: "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

The top three was completed by David Gibson ("I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.") and Emo Phillips ("I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.")

Gary Delaney was the only comedian to feature in the top ten twice with: "Dave drowned, so at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted," and: "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog."

Also appearing in the best jokes list were Jack Whitehall ("I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."), Bo Burnham ("What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.") and Robert White ("For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates: Empty.").

The worst jokes category included Sara Pascoe's "Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side", and Bec Hill's "Some of my best friends are vegan. They were going to come today but they didn't have the energy to climb up the stairs".

Dan Antopolski, who won the funniest joke award last year for: "Hedgehogs - why can't they just share the hedge?" was included on the worst jokes lineup this year with: "How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

After receiving his prize, Vine said: "I am very happy to win this award and I'm going to celebrate by going to Sooty's barbecue and having a sweepsteak".

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