Feeds
The glitter-drenched, sequin-encrusted, off-their-tits-on-amyl results make Jo Whiley's Live Lounge look as musically innovative as the Last Night of the Proms. But Gay Spy: The Album isn't just about pushing pop's boundaries and raising the odd right wing eyebrow; it's also about making lots of money for charidee. Every penny of profit will go to the London Union for Boys' Entertainment (L.U.B.E.), an organisation that funds nights out for gay teenagers who are a bit shy about popping on their dancing shoes. Hurrah!
Gay Spy: The Album's tracklisting is as follows:
1. Jodie 'n' Jordan: 'All The Things She Said'
The nation's favourite nipple-flashers managed to overcome their differences for this sexually-charged Sapphic duet. In fact, mademoiselles Marsh and Price are so excited about the track that they've decided to shoot a video! "The theme is Prisoner Cell Block H crossed with 'Dirrty' by Christina Aguilera," teases Jodie. "But much less subtle."
The king of quips originally intended to duet with US choreographer Brian Friedman, but the flamboyant American wasn't able to hit the notes that Simon wanted. "I never thought I'd say this, but I really missed the dulcet tones of Louis Walsh," Simon admitted. Walsh, who needed no persuasion to trade warbles with his reality TV colleague, is delighted with the results, saying: "We're really good. I think we could win The X Factor."
3. A Quintet of Anonymous Hollywood Actors: 'I'm Coming Out'
None of the stars involved was willing to comment on this recording, but each was keen to emphasise that he's a decent, God-fearing family man who enjoys beer, baseball and Baywatch.
4. Sienna Miller: 'So Many Men, So Little Time'
The model/actress/style icon relished the opportunity to send up her promiscuous image on this spirited rendition of Miquel Brown's HI NRG floor-filler. "It's actually very tongue-in-cheek because I never sleep around," she insists. "It's just a laugh because I live like a nun and I'm not a slag, honest."
5. The Primrose Hill Kinkettes: 'Boys (And Girls) Keep Swinging'
This fun-loving four-piece - comprising a Hollywood actor, his dress-doodling ex-wife and a pair of oft-forgotten Britpop survivors - refused to discuss their contribution to Gay Spy: The Album. However, an insider revealed that they had "a lot of fun" in the recording studio. Oo-er!
The outspoken politician leaped at the chance to put a swing spin on George Michael's lust-fuelled paean to cruising. "I can really relate to the lyric," the Conservative crooner gushes. "I've serviced the community for two decades - not in a sexual sense, of course, but as the Member of Parliament for Maidstone and the Weald."
7. Richard Hammond: 'I Will Survive'
We allowed Top Gear's resident chassis-crusher to cover the Gloria Gaynor classic on one condition - he took a taxi to the recording studio.
8. Jim Davidson: 'Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)'
At first, the Hell's Kitchen survivor was reluctant to show off his singing skills, but his fervent belief in the importance of L.U.B.E loosened up his pipes a treat. "My agent threatened to quit if I didn't record a song for Gay Spy: The Album," he enthuses. "But actually, I f**king hate Abba - I'm more of an Eric Clapton man, myself."
9. Ruth Watson: 'Y.M.C.A.'
The Hotel Inspector insists that her involvement in this project isn’t as unlikely as we might think. "The importance of clean, affordable dormitory accommodation shouldn't be underestimated," the nation's foremost scrutiniser of bed-stock says. "I agreed to record this song because I imagine it really would be fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A."
The charity campaigner managed to squeeze in a few singing lessons while filming Dancing With The Stars, the stateside equivalent of Strictly Come Dancing. "I've already saved the world's animals, so now I'm doing something for the gays," she boasts. "I've made a good start, actually - my estranged husband Sir Paul McCartney says he'll never touch a woman again after being married to me."
UK Bonus Track:
11. The Gay Spy Choir: 'I Am What I Am'
All 19 celebrities who contributed to Gay Spy: The Album lent their vocal talents to this disco rendition of the Cage Aux Folles show-stopper. Honest to goodness, it wasn't easy to handle all those rampaging egos, especially when Louis Walsh and Ruth Watson began to argue about who got the "each sparkle and each bangle" line. Shame on the pair of you!
Gay Spy: The Album is released on April 1, 2008.
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