"Let the rain come down and wash away my tears; let it fill my soul and drown my fears," Celine Dion once commanded. "Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun. A new day has come." While we appreciate the sentiment, we can't help thinking the Celster's being a touch unrealistic. For a more modest change to your lifestyle, why not take some cues from Gay Spy's seven-day entertainment guide? It offers something for your ears, something for your feet and something for your wallet… even if the walls, regrettably, have to stay standing.

Monday

What's happening? Kylie releases X on CD and download.

Why should you care? Kylie's tenth album isn't the finest of her two-decade career, but it contains enough gleaming pop nuggets ('The One', 'Wow', 'In My Arms') to keep the little Aussie pop rocket dear to our hearts.

Tuesday

What's happening? Manchester's New Union Hotel hosts a karaoke night.

Why should you care? Come on, everyone likes a sing-song! What do you mean you're shy? Don't be ridiculous! Honest to God, you can't be any worse than us.

Wednesday

What's happening? ITV2 screens the American Music Awards at 9pm.

Why should you care? With performances from Alicia Keys, Mary J. Blige and Celine Dion (her again), this LA gongathon manages to out-diva ITV1's recent Saturday Night Divas special. Plus, Myleene Klass won't be on hand to sully proceedings.

Thursday

What's happening? The Gay Business Association examines the impact of the internet on gay commerce.

Why should you care? Business seminars aren't normally our bag, but this one covers a very important issue facing Gay Spy, and all of us, today: do we buy our cheeky DVDs online or from a naughty store in Soho?

Friday

What's happening? It's reality TV grand final night, as Dancing With The Stars concludes at 8pm on UKTV Gold and I'm A Celebrity draws to a close at 9pm on ITV1.

Why should you care? It's getting awfully cold outside, isn't it? An evening of trashy telly has got to be better than painting the town a particularly icy shade of pneumonia blue.

Saturday

What's happening? London's G-A-Y club night celebrates its 15th birthday and commemorates 20 years of World AIDS Day, all on the same night.

Why should you care? Hosted by Sharon Osbourne, this megabash features appearances from Girls Aloud, Sugababes, John Barrowman, Gabrielle and Alison Moyet. At least £10k will be donated to the Elton John AIDS foundation, so the whole shebang is worthy as well as wonderful.

Sunday

What's happening? Alan Carr guests on Graham Norton Uncut, airing at 10.50pm on BBC Two.

Why should you care? Well, it's not unreasonable to suggest that Carr + Norton = non-stop laugh-o-rama, is it?