Last night we had a very odd dream. No, it wasn't that we'd just jumped into a swimming pool - we haven't had one of those dreams since we were six. This dream involved X Factor hunk Shayne Ward, and he was starring in ad for a Calvin Klein perfume. He touched a lady's bottom, kissed her chesticles and then took her outside to ravish her in the rain. What a naughty scamp!

Anyway, you'll never guess what, but our dream seems to have come true...