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"With a great track pumpin', everybody's jumpin'," Mary J. Blige once noted. "Go ahead and twist your back and get your body bumpin'." But what if you don't want to "twist your back"? What if your chiropractor's had enough of manipulating your spine already? Well, worry not, because Gay Spy's compiled a week of activities that keeps musculoskeletal stress to a minimum. You and your doctor can thank us later.
What’s happening? Girls Aloud release 'Sexy! No No No...' on CD single and download.
Why should you care? The pop harlots restyle themselves as teasing minxes on the first single from their eagerly-anticipated fourth album. "For a while I dropped that d-d-dirty style," Nadine Coyle coos. "And I discovered that it's sexy, sexy." Sexual restraint has never sounded so appealing.
What’s happening? Andrew and Jeremy Get Married on BBC Four at 11.20pm.
Why should you care? This blubtastic documentary traces the unlikely love affair between a bus driver from Croydon and a retired teacher from Chelsea. Our advice? Make sure your hanky's freshly-laundered before you park yourself on the sofa.
What’s happening? Elton John brings his Red Piano tour to London's 02 Arena.
Why should you care? This show marks the European premiere of Elts’ glitzy, gaudy Las Vegas spectacular. Watch out for Elts barking out 'The Bitch Is Back' while Pamela Anderson pole-dances on the big screen behind him.
What’s happening? London's Garrick Theatre presents a charity gala performance of Bad Girls - The Musical in aid of Stonewall.
Why should you care? Well, how often do you spend the evening feeling cultural and worthy? Plus, you'll be given the chance to get plastered with the cast after the show.
What’s happening? The Gossip play the Birmingham Academy.
Why should you care? Beth Ditto bared all during the Arkansas rockers' recent Reading set. Don't you want to see if she'll strip off again?
What’s happening? ITV1 celebrates the 60th birthday of Marc Bolan at 11.10pm.
Why should you care? The 20th century boy had it all: storming tunes, boundless charisma and a dress sense so flamboyant he made Elton John look like a 1950s bank manager.
What’s happening? BBC Four screens Consenting Adults at 10pm.
Why should you care? In 1953 Jack Wolfenden was asked to prepare a Home Office report on the possible decriminalisation of homosexuality. Then his son came out. This gripping drama chronicles his struggle to reconcile politics with family.
