"In Burlesque Christina Aguilera is backed up by Cher for a relentlessly razzle-dazzle campfest that displays her considerable pipes and questionable acting range. The result is something that's both watch-through-your-fingers awful and dementedly entertaining - so bad it could almost be Showgirls." [SR]
"It's about time the world experienced a technological regression with the creation of 1D screens to allow for movies like Clash Of The Titans. Such is the wafer-thin characterisation and uninvolving nature of this soulless remake, affording it anything more than a solitary dimension is more than it deserves." [BRJ]
"Abs! Lots of lovely, beautifully-toned abs that just have to be admired. And some of the dancing is, obviously, great... Every move and shot is designed with that extra dimension in mind, but instead of immersing you in the experience, all that means is loads of tacky balloons/bubbles/water droplets/pointy sticks/waving arms getting in your way as part of a contact lens-twitch-inducing yawnfest." [MN]
"A hellish rom-com bereft of chuckles and charm. A good screwball comedy should have laughs, heart, sexiness, rapid-fire banter and, most importantly, chemistry between its two leads - Did You Hear About The Morgans? has not one of these things... a lazy, witless and boring comedy." [SR]
"After getting her happy ending in the first film outing of Sex And The City, it seemed there was nowhere else to go for relationship columnist Carrie Bradshaw. This sequel proves the point as writer-director Michael Patrick King drops the 'girls' in the middle of the desert in Abu Dhabi where nothing much happens except that Samantha (Kim Cattrall) gets a little more hot and bothered than usual." [SP]
"The Strauses squeeze the action into a three-day time frame, yet the film's still crippled by inertia for the most part as they fail to create any tension within the group or crank up the stakes in the high-rise building... Skyline packs some impressive money shots; however, with its tracing-paper-thin script, there's not enough propping up these whizz-bang set pieces." [SR]
"Burke & Hare is so pitiful that it leaves one yearning for an early grave throughout its duration. That may sound harsh, but the production fails on just about every conceivable level. It's pure misfire from the uninspired script upward, incorporating John Landis's leaden direction, cinematography that disregards atmospherics and a range of performances that cannot belie the embarrassment of the cast." [BRJ]
"Morgan shouts, overreacts and has toddler tantrums at every turn, while Willis oscillates between parenting him and sitting back with a slight smile as if to say 'this trainwreck is nothing to do with me'. There is no sense of either aggravation or friendship, only apathy. This lack of any real spark is not limited to the pair's relationship with one another as, dull as they are together, apart they fare no better." [PW]
"The central idea is certainly an intriguing one - a 12-year-old 'Avatar' named Aang (Noah Ringer) is capable of controlling air, water, earth and fire, and must protect various tribes from the evil Fire Nation - yet its storytelling is executed at such a familiar, basic level, the dialogue bad to laughable and the acting not much better, that it's a completely squandered opportunity all round." [SR]
"Every second of the 83 minutes in Fred's company is an unbearable one. This is a spectacularly terrible slapstick concoction that strives for laughs by getting its protagonist to screech dialogue like a chipmunk (mercifully Cruikshank isn't cursed with that voice, Fred-speak is digitally processed), gurn endlessly for the camera and find ever-more cruel ways to shed dignity. It's utterly bewildering from start to finish." [SR]
Review excerpts by Simon Reynolds, Ben Rawson-Jones, Stella Papamichael, Mayer Nissim and Philippa Warr
What do you make of our choice for 2010's cinematic howlers? Leave your comments in the space below!
