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Screenwriters: Kristofor Brown, Seth Rogen, John Hughes
Starring: Owen Wilson, Nate Hartley, Alex Frost, Leslie Mann
Running Time: 102 mins
Certificate: 12A
Since 2004's Anchorman, Judd Apatow's name has been plastered on ten different comedy films in some capacity. Remarkable considering his ventures into television frequently ended in abrupt first season cancellation. Apatow has four movies out this year, of which Drillbit Taylor is first to roll into town on the comedy overlord's bandwagon.
Directed by Steven Brill, written by Kristofor Brown, Seth Rogen and John Hughes (using the pseudonym Edmund Dantes) and produced by Apatow, Drillbit Taylor focuses on three freshmen high-schoolers who hire a low-budget bodyguard to protect them from bullies.
Committing the first-day faux pas of wearing the same shirt, best friends Wade and Ryan (or T-Bone, as he prefers) immediately find themselves the target of school bully Filkins and his lackey Ronnie. When Wade dares to stand up to the pair after they throw the helium-voiced Emmit into a locker he virtually seals his and his friends' fate as perpetual bullying victims. Before long, they realise drastic action needs to be taken - they decide to hire a bodyguard.
After meeting several unsuitable and overpriced candidates all hope seems lost until the arrival of Drillbit Taylor (Owen Wilson). Drillbit swaggers in to his interview telling his potential employees he's a war veteran, recently discharged for "unauthorised heroism", and former security guard to Sylvester Stallone. What they don't realise is he's actually a homeless army dropout with no bodyguard experience. Nevertheless, Drillbit is able to convince the naïve youngsters he's the man for the job. "See this?" says Drillbit stretching out his arm. "This is my wing, I'm taking you under it."
There is nothing drastically terrible about this film. It trundles along at a fair clip, the one-liners hit the mark more often than not and Wilson shows brilliant restraint in the lead role. A wacky performance from a Sandler or Ferrell may have pushed the character over the edge; Wilson is subtle, dialled down. His relaxed charm grounds the film, making the events that unfold seem genuine. Drillbit fails on account of its predictability; the plot is so telegraphed you can spot each twist and turn coming a mile away. If you've ever seen an American high school comedy - if you've seen any comedy - then this will hold few surprises.
As the film unfolds its feels a lot like a Superbad prequel, minus the machine-gun, profanity-strewn dialogue. The three high-schoolers are all younger versions of that movie's teenage trio. There's a round, loud one (here played by Troy Gentile, in Superbad Jonah Hill), a gawky elongated one (Nate Hartley standing in for Michael Cera) and the "McLovin" character who's possibly creepier than the other two combined (David Dorfman playing Emmit).
School of Rock springs to mind when Wilson poses as substitute teacher "Dr. Illbit" to keep tabs on the bullies. Wearing one of Wade's father's suits and holding a cup of coffee to get into the teacher's staff lounge ("as long as you’ve got coffee nobody says anything"), Drillbit is able to move through the school helping the bullying victims exact their revenge.
Wilson aside, the film's strong cast members aren't utilised. Leslie Mann, one of the best things about Knocked Up, is reduced to a swooning love interest, while bullies Filkins and Ronnie are snarling clichés. The film is far from a failure, though. An 8 Mile-esque rap-off between Ryan and Filkins provides the most memorable scene in the film, while Wilson's cringe-worthy one-liners during his staff room seduction of Mann's English teacher are hilarious.
Drillbit Taylor is essentially a fast food comedy. You know exactly what to expect from it, know it'll dull a hunger, but ultimately you're aware there’s probably something healthier and more rewarding out there.
