The Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor

Director: Rob Cohen
Screenwriters: Alfred Gough, Miles Millar
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, John Hannah
Running Time: 112 mins
Certificate: 12A

"Here we go again…" utters Brendan Fraser as he steps forth to do battle with the crusty undead. The irony is that it looks as if his own earthly spirit has long since departed, leaving an empty shell of a man who briefly walked with giants like Sir Ian McKellen in the Oscar-nominated Gods and Monsters and Sir Michael Caine in The Quiet American, before being doomed to repeat the same old, same old stick-’em-and-smile routine in a pale imitation of an Indiana Jones franchise. Of course Fraser has the benefit of being much younger than Harrison Ford, so it’s not his joints you’ll hear creaking. That’ll be the script…

It begins with the bogus mythology of Emperor Han (Jet Li), a tyrant turned to stone along with the entire Chinese army by his do-gooder witch of a wife Zi Yuan (Michelle Yeoh). A couple of thousand years later, Rick O’Connell (Fraser) and wife Evelyn (Maria Bello) are also having a few marital problems - not quite on the same earth-shattering scale as Han and Zi Yuan, but just as trite and predictable. Their son, all grown up (Luke Ford), exacerbates the situation by trying to prove to dad that he’s just as much the bold adventurer. With the reckless abandon of youth, he goes digging in China and uncovers the tomb of Emperor Han.

Still, Han doesn’t wake up for an awfully long time, which is surprising given all the bickering between the O’Connells. Bello is especially grating as mommy with her vacant expression and mindless platitudes. It is difficult to believe this is the same actress who delivered such gutsy performances in A History Of Violence and The Cooler. She brings none of that to the role of Evelyn, or even a hint of the sassy charm that Rachel Weisz gave it in the previous two instalments. That said, she is badly short-changed by a script which gives precedence to CG monsters, the foremost being the eponymous Emperor.

Even when Han does eventually rise from the tomb, breathing fire, the action feels lifeless. A chariot chase through Shanghai boasts almost as many thrills and spills as a night out at the local Mongolian barbecue. And frankly, Emperor Han, with his clay face and lava blood, is still only about as terrifying as a lump of smouldering coal. Martial arts maestro Jet Li is relegated to the sidelines far too often in favour of this digitised dummy mummy. That’s one of many missteps by director Rob Cohen who takes the reins from series creator Stephen Sommers.

At least Yeoh gets a little more face time, lending a touch of class when things gets really silly; for instance, when O’Connell and co. are guided through the Himalayas by friendly Yetis… Those furry beasties almost upstage John Hannah (returning as the O’Connells’ superfluous sidekick) but in the end he wins the fluff award with oneliners like, "I hate mummies!" There are no memorable moments of derring-do for Fraser. Instead, Yeoh’s final showdown with Jet Li - mixing swordplay and hand-to-hand combat - is the highlight of the film. Cohen doesn’t even do the scene full justice and yet it’s enough to put 10,000 CG stone warriors in the shade. That also serves as testament to the lacklustre effects work.

Clearly, the Emperor’s minions are a twist on the Terracotta Army, one of the most awe-inspiring archaeological discoveries of the last century. It’s a terrible shame that in making such a radical departure from the true story of the First Emperor, Cohen manages to kill all the magic and mystery surrounding this ancient wonder. What he offers us instead are the dusty remnants of a dated popcorn movie franchise, all of it embodied by the unstoppable alter ego of Brendan Fraser - that is to say, big and dumb. He should have let it lie.


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