College Road Trip

Director: Roger Kumble
Screenwriters: Emi Mochizuki, Carrie Evans
Starring: Martin Lawrence, Raven-Symoné, Donny Osmond
Running Time: 83 mins
Certificate: U

Isn't it about time that a UN Resolution was passed to ensure that all Martin Lawrence movies contain some kind of cultural health warning before the opening titles? College Road Trip is certainly not the faded star's worst output, but it says a great deal that the movie's main redeeming feature is a chess-playing pig.

Lawrence plays incredibly overprotective father James Porter, a man desperate to ensure his 17-year-old daughter Melanie (Raven-Symoné) goes to a university as close to home as possible. The rebellious teen has other ideas of course, and the pair embark on a madcap trip across America in a bid to visit her ideal campus in Georgetown.

College Road Trip deploys an overly familiar formula in which two conflicting personalities become buddies over the course of their tumultuous adventures. It's fundamentally impossible to tap into this father-daughter relationship as Lawrence's character is so excruciatingly implausible and detached from any notion of reality. With his wild eyes, shameless facial mugging and animalistic grunts and snarls, it's far-fetched to believe this guy is a police chief and functioning human being.

Moreover, this totally makes a mockery of the predictable attempts to invoke an emotionally earnest and tear-inducing finale, in which the father finally lets go of his beloved daughter. Lawrence's agonisingly bad performance will have you reaching for the sick bag instead of the tissues.

Yet if you can overlook that dismal performance, an array of crude stereotypes and a barrage of overly signposted gaga, there are a few pleasures to be had. The aforementioned 'genius' pig, a stowaway in Porter's car (don't ask), provides the bulk of visual humour. In particular, the porcine creature's destruction of a wedding reception after taking an inadvertent caffeine overdose guarantees a few unexpected giggles.

Elsewhere, Donny Osmond exudes a sense of fun in a recurring cameo as a Ned Flanders-style good Samaritan, while Raven-Symoné manages to echo her character and break free from the shackles of Lawrence to portray Melanie as an appealing and intelligent teen on the verge of adulthood.

Running at a paltry 83 minutes, College Road Trip benefits from a snappy pace that fortunately leaves little pause for thought. For this is a film that certainly won't trouble the little grey cells, unlike the pig.

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