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Dance Flick

By
Dance Flick
Director: Damien Dante Wayans
Screenwriters: Keenen Ivory Wayans, Shawn Wayans
Starring: Shoshana Bush, Damon Wayans Jr
Running time: 83 mins
Certificate: 15

"From the Wayans brothers comes the most outrageous movie of the year," promises the trailer for Dance Flick. That's correct in one sense, as it's an outrage that precious reels of celluloid have been imprinted with this cheap, dire, tedious, unfunny, offensive and desperate attempt to induce laughter. Those are just a small selection of the disparaging adjectives that can be applied to this putrid tripe.

Attempting to poke fun at recent dance-orientated films, the paltry plot follows Megan (Bush), a naive young lass who enrols in 'Musical High' school to achieve her dreams of becoming a dancer. She soon hooks up with the similarly dumb street dancer Thomas (Damon Wayans Jr.) and together they aim to compete in a fiercely contested local contest to scoop some much-needed cash. Along the way plenty of jolly japes ensue, such as the death of Megan's mother in a road accident and a newborn baby being subjected to abuse. This all scrapes so far below the barrel it's hard to comprehend. Date Movie and Epic Movie feel like comparative masterpieces in the spoof genre.

Bizarrely, proceedings kick off rather promisingly. A heated dance-off between two rival groups contains a decent degree of imaginative visual humour, as the contestants unleash an array of increasingly surreal moves that make John Sergeant's recent displays on Strictly Come Dancing look textbook. Sadly, it's rapidly downhill from there.

The puerile attempts to raise laughs lack any subtlety, skilful direction or vestige of intelligence. Instead, we're treated to one supporting character who is a junior version of Ray Charles, with his blindness cruelly used as the launching pad for numerous mishaps. Similarly, another figure is a dancer who conforms to the crudest possible stereotype of camp homosexuality. He prances around singing the theme tune to Fame, changing the word 'fame' in the chorus to 'gay'. Incredible. As for the advent of stern dance instructor Ms Cameltoe, guess what folks? Yup, endless lazy close-up shots of a very beefy groin area.

At least there is one significant positive that can be extracted from the unfiltered sewage of Dance Flick - a feeling of empowerment. For should you be unfortunate enough to find yourself trapped in a cinema with this wreck unfolding in front of your eyes, then pluck up the courage to stand up, clutching your half-munched box of popcorn close to your bosom, and march out with your head held high. It's very liberating. The alternative is excruciating.


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