Feeds
Michael and Emily Eavis tend to base their lineups on whoever Jo Whiley has deemed "really fantastic" in the last six months (The Kooks - yawn! Kasabian - boo! Razorlight - hiss!), wheeling out Radiohead every three or four years, so we thought we'd offer a few suggestions.
Michael Eavis isn't averse to a bit of melodramatic warbling - he booked the English National Opera to play in 2004 - so why not stick everyone's favourite X Factor loser in the acoustic tent? After a few cans of pear cider, the white-haired Welsh weirdo might just morph into a festival hero. Hell, 'Phantom of the Opera' could even become this year's unlikely Glasto anthem.
There's nobody better to get our wellies tapping on a Saturday night than the ultimate camp disco duo. With a crate-load of walloping beats and anthemic choruses, they'd make a nice change from the usual 5000-beats-per-minute electronica that keeps the pill-poppers bopping in the Dance Village. An easy-to-copy dance routine for 'Go West' wouldn't go amiss either.
Alright, alright, they're not technically a new act, but the Eavis clan would surely bend the rules if it meant getting this pair to perform together . The conditions? One: Blake Fielder-Civil and Kate Moss are banned from the VIP section. Two: all drugs are confiscated at the super-fence. Altogether now: "They tried to make us go to rehab...."
Forget about this Kylie nonsense (we've heard her new album's a bit bleh anyway) and get the kings of pop to provide the glitz and glamour come Sunday evening. While the crusties and Levellers fans are off consoling themselves at the Jazzworld Stage, we'll be whipping out the 'I Heart Mark' banners that we last used in 1995.
It's 10 o'clock on Sunday night. You've lost your friends and your tent. You've just stood on something sticky and yellow in the portaloos. Who better than the little kinky fella to round off the wildest weekend of your life? Imagine the Pyramid stage splattered with purple, the most sex-obsessed man in pop tickling the fancy of 80,000 punters and the guitar solo to 'Purple Rain' booming out into the Vale of Avalon and you'll see why Prince has to headline.
Paul McCartney, Brian Wilson, Shirley Bassey, Rod Stewart, Johnny Cash... pah! None of them have got a patch on the Quo when it comes to reeling out 'The Hits'. Rossi and Parfitt know how to command a stage and their absence was the main reason Live 8 paled in comparison to Live Aid. The thought of several thousand people dressed in stone-washed denim air-guitaring to 'Rockin' All Over The World' fills our hearts with joy. Come on Michael, you know you want to!
Who do you want to see at this year's Glastonbury? Hit the usual button to let us know.
