Moby

Witty, self-deprecating, not afraid to speak his mind - he recently expressed a desire to marry Britney Spears - there's plenty to love about Moby. His music, most notably the era-defining smashes 'Porcelain' and 'Natural Blues', can be pretty ace too. However, for some strange, unknown reason, the world's most famous vegan dance artist has a tendency to get up peoples' noses. Why does he think this is? Does it bother him? We gave him a call to find out.

Last Night is your ninth album. Are you starting to feel like a bit of a veteran?
"It's strange because I really never expected to have a record contract. I thought I'd spend the rest of my life making music in my bedroom that nobody would ever hear. When I released my first record back in the early 90s, I thought I'd be lucky to have a career that lasted a year or two, so the fact that I've been making records for nearly 20 years really baffles me."

What were your aims when making this record?
"I know I sometimes have a tendency to take myself a little too seriously, so with this record I wanted to make something that just sounded like a night out in my neighbourhood. I live on the Lower East Side in Manhattan and there are about 500 bars, clubs and venues nearby. It's a difficult place for anyone to live unless they're comfortable being an alcoholic who never gets any sleep."

You've said in the past that people tend to take against you for no real reason. Have you figured out why that is?
"I wish I knew because I'd like to fix it. It's really bizarre being hated by so many people I've never met. It mystifies my friends more than it mystifies me, because I'm a relatively inoffensive person: I'm not very tall, I'm not very big, I'm not very bright. I don't know how I manage to annoy people so much. Maybe it's because I've been outspoken on certain issues? I do sometimes think I should go to school to become a shy, retiring, esoteric musician - the Kate Bush and Thom Yorke school of how to be a rock star."

People can't be annoyed by a recluse...
"Yeah, I could keep myself hidden away and almost never say anything in public. When I did say something it would be so vague that no-one could ever latch onto it, as opposed to me saying that as Britney gets fatter I have more of a crush on her."

Has Britney been in touch since you said that?
"No, I don't think I'm her type. She tends to go for dancers in Vegas rather than middle-aged bald guys from the Lower East Side."

But she needs a more dependable guy at the moment, I think.
"You know, I go out drinking four or five nights a week so I might not be the best influence. I think she probably needs someone who's going to AA or NA meetings eleven times a week, not some guy who's going out to dive bars and getting drunk at four in the morning."

You opened a tea shop in New York a few years back. How did it go?
"I opened it with an ex-girlfriend of mine, and I learned a few things through my tea shop: one, I learned that I'm a terrible businessman; two, I learned that when public figures think they can open a business even though they've got no business experience, it's a bad idea; three, I learned that it's always a bad idea to start a business venture with a romantic partner. You know, it's still open and it does very well, but it's nothing to do with me any more."

So it was your first and last excursion into the hospitality industry?
"If I was to open anything else, it would be a sleazy dive bar. Beer and tequila never go bad, but the problem with opening a restaurant is that everything has a shelf life of about six hours. The thing with bars is that people drink when they're happy and they drink when they're sad. You're never going to get rich opening a dive bar, but the chances of failure aren't that great either."

Moby's new album Last Night is out now.