Chanelle Hayes: 'I Want It'

For some reason Big Brother and pop music don't mix. A handful of former housemates have tried their hands at a singing career, but every single one of them has proved a disaster. Chanelle Hayes, a Victoria Beckham obsessive from the eighth incarnation of the Channel 4 reality show, is the latest wannabe trying to buck the trend. Willing to simulate sex with puppets in a publicity stunt and strip off to her undies for the video, there's little she won't don't do to extend her five minutes of fame. Unfortunately, unless you're an avid Nuts reader, that won't make this single any more palatable.

'I Want It' is as trashy as a night down China Whites with a Daily Star cover girl and three bottles of Lambrini. Full of cheap vocal effects and clunky bargain bucket production, this is an aging record exec's idea of futuristic pop. There's also some insipid lyrics ("I'm a sexy lady, drive you crazy, make you beg for more") that completely fail in their bid to sound sexually provocative and a (vague excuse for a) tune that a Latvian Eurovision hopeful would dismiss as tacky. Our conclusion: Iceland better have some shelf-stacking jobs left because Chanelle's music career is doomed.