Steps have been taken to ensure those first two dis(s)es don't apply here. Although Aphrodite features contributions from a veritable Brits afterparty of hitmaking talent - Calvin Harris, Jake Shears, Nerina Pallot, Tim Rice-Oxley, Starsmith, the list goes on - the album as a whole has been "executive produced" by Stuart Price, a man who could now cause a stampede at the bottom of Old Compton Street merely by letting his address book slip out of his pocket. The slew of co-writing, additional production and mixing credits he earns here are reflected in a record that benefits from a similar sense of sonic cohesion to 2001's Fever.
In fact, Aphrodite could almost be too cohesive, with several tracks seeming to disappear into one another on first listen. However, after a few plays distinguishing sonic details do begin to appear - the nods towards the RedOne sound on 'Get Outta My Way', the Italo disco-inspired chorus of 'Closer', the rock guitars that underpin 'Cupid Boy', the appropriately celestial synth strings of 'Looking For An Angel' - and standout tracks assert themselves.
And what gorgeous, glittery standouts they are. Harris's 'Too Much' goes off like firework over Sydney Opera House, 'Better Than Today' is as uplifting a dance-pop ditty as we're likely to hear all year, and next single 'Get Outta My Way' finds Minogue ditching her dullard boyfriend for the delights of the dancefloor. Toppermost of the poppermost is the brilliant title track. When Minogue sings, "I am the only one to make you feel this way," on the middle 8, it's difficult not to pump your fist in the air and shout, "Amen to that sista!" (Only Dannii is actually permitted to do so.)
This all adds up to an utterly charming, consistently danceable electro-disco album that's Minogue's best effort since, well, Fever. Deep? No way Andres, but Aphrodite sure ain't dumb either. It's a record to be played as the sun sets on a secluded Mediterranean beach with a cocktail in your hand, a bowl of olives at your fingertips and a lifetime's worth of wistful-yet-optimistic thoughts in your head. That it can evoke those feelings on a muggy morning in a sticky office backing onto the Oxford Street branch of Primark is a testament to its success - oh, and a little thing called The Kylie Effect, of course.