Katie Price: 'Free To Love Again'

Earlier this week, Katie Price claimed that her only regret in life was her notorious 2005 Eurovision flop. After performing the oh-so unmemorable 'Not Just Anybody' dressed in an oh-so memorable pink latex catsuit on the BBC's trial show, the British public snubbed her in favour of Javine and her heavily (self) hyped pop career fizzled out like a cheap disposable barbecue in a summer downpour. While many would argue that there are bigger crimes on The Artist Formerly Known As Jordan's CV, the glamour model / reality star / cash cow clearly has her G-string in a twist about it - so much so, in fact, that she's launching another assault on the charts.

Well, Price's latest bid for pop stardom is certainly an improvement on the musical monstrosity that was her 2006 Disney cover-cum-Peter Andre duet, 'A Whole New World'. However, drawing this comparison is a bit like saying you're grateful to have contracted chlamydia because, well, at least it's not gonorrhoea. Put simply, the retro-flavoured dance cheese of 'Free To Love Again' sounds like the worst track on every single Now! compilation between 1991 and 1994. Price's vocals are propped up by more effects than the average Hollywood blockbuster, so we probably ought to be grateful for small mercies, but this slab of phoned-in, emotionless pop trash still makes her ex-hubbie's recent output sound like the work of a modern-day Elvis. Our advice to Katie? Stick to the day job… whatever that might be.