Michael Bublé: 'Hollywood'

Famous-for-being-famous... we all know the types. We won't mention any names, but the pop charts are littered with delusional try-hards and wannabes. They float on a sea of marketing cash, teenage tears and reality TV showreels. Shouldn't music be about what's inside? Shouldn't we instead celebrate genuine talent, keepin' it real and all that stuff? That seems to be the gist of Michael Bublé's new track 'Hollywood', sliced from the obligatory cash-in reissue of his last album Crazy Love.

As he warbles his cautionary tale ("Remember when you're rich / That you sold yourself for this / You'll be famous 'cos you're dead"), you realise that the reason we need the tacky, trashy artifice of modern pop is to save us from the po-faced preachiness of Michael Bublé. The tune? Cross Lennon/McCartney's 'Do You Want To Know A Secret?' with Cee-Lo's single-of-the-year 'F**k You', take out all the wit, fun, soul, energy and naughtiness, and you're pretty much there. The icky sentiment? "Keep on loving what is true / And the world will come to you / You can find it in yourself." Sign us up for a meat dress, floppy blonde fringe, brandy glass and one thousand brown M&Ms, please.