Girls Aloud: 'Sexy! No No No...'

The miracle, of course, is that they're still around. Half a decade after they were thrust together on Popstars: The Rivals, Girls Aloud stand defiant against the incoming tide of self-obsessed guitar-strummers, brazen R&B bum-wigglers and skinny indie boys in brightly-coloured jeans. In fact, they've managed to locate the holy grail of the manufactured pop group: that elusive fourth album.

'Sexy! No No No...', the first single from the album-that-should-never-have-been, is a noisy riot of multi-layered guitar riffs, whipcrackin' call-and-response vocals and euphoric "woo woo-oo" harmonies. As ever, the Xenomania hitmaking team sacrifices conventional song structure in the name of keeping those hooks coming thick and fast - and quite right too. The feisty five, meanwhile, restyle themselves as teasing minxes, claiming that they’ve “dropped their d-d-dirty style”. Hmm. Do we really believe that Sarah Harding and co are capable of sexual restraint?