The Sheilas: '(I'm So) Happy Happy (You're Mine)'

Only Pete Waterman could watch a God-awful car insurance advert with an intensely irritating female trio howling about the "cheapest wheels" and start seeing dollar signs and potential single flash up in his mind. Most of us would reach for the remote or, even worse, the shotgun. But alas, he is at it again, providing us with more plastic, shiny, pristine pop to whack into our eardrums until we presumably submit and confess that, yes, he truly is a music genius.

Following in the illustrious footsteps of Howard from the Halifax adverts, The Sheilas make the transition from annoying advertising gimmick to even more annoying musical artistes with their debut single '(I'm So) Happy Happy (You're Mine). With a lyrical mundanity that would embarrass The Vengaboys, the trio of Emma, Carly and Cathi, squawk about "sunshine", "blue sky", "your love", "rain" and "pain", with the latter being the predominate emotion felt by the listener. With more computer systems than the Starship Enterprise working overtime on the production and girls' voices, the tune's got the soul of a twig and the irritation levels of 77 Janet Street Porters locked in a small room.

A truly abysmal single that we can only hope and pray doesn't lead to some sort of Waterman craze for advertising spin-offs. Saying that, the Gorilla in the Cadbury's Dairy Milk advert is looking for a deal, I hear.