Samanda: 'Barbie Girl'

In the history of horrendous, unforgivably awful pop songs - that probably began with Russ Abbot's 'Atmosphere' in 1984 before passing through the works of Lou Bega and Eiffel 65, and hit a nadir with the collective solo material of Brian McFadden - the new Samanda single probably comes out somewhere near the the top. With what must surely have been the brainchild of some Simon Cowell/Pete Waterman/George Bush conglomerate of evil they've managed to take the plastic cheese-fest of Aqua's 'Barbie Girl' and smother it in Dairylea, brie and Cheesestrings for those who found the first version, well, a little too challenging.

Disappointingly, the powers in charge haven't even had the imagination to alter any of the lyrics from the original, which could have provided at least a couple of seconds' amusement as the pink pair giggled about Ziggy, Chanelle, Brian and co. In fact the squawking blonde pair are hardly recognisable at all after they've been mangled through a Cher vocoder effect and hidden behind layer upon layer of computerized effects, switches and glitches. Trashier than a night down the local kebab house after 15 bottles of Hooch with Big Brother's Charley, Samanda find themselves joining the illustrious company of Nichola Holt (WHO?), Nadia Almada (When?) and Craig Phillips (How?) in the list of Big Brother musical spin-offs that are best forgotten.