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Ouch! The worst album titles of our times
Published Friday, Mar 21 2008, 12:45 GMT | By Nick Levine | 15 comments
Madonna and Coldplay may have failed to come up with crackers for their new album titles, but the likes of "Hard Candy" and "Viva La Vida" seem positively inspired compared to these monstrous monikers. Read on for our list of the worst album titles in recent memory.
10. Sugababes: Taller In More Ways (2005)
However much you think about it, this title never quite makes sense.
9. Steps: Steptacular (1999)
Obvious, clunky and, worst of all, it probably kept Pete Waterman chuckling for days.
8. Michael Jackson: HIStory: Past, Present and Future - Book I (1995)
Translation: a shoddy new studio set coupled with an essential greatest hits collection in one prohibitively expensive package.
7. Sum 41: All Killer No Filler (2001)
If only the Canadian pop punkers had the tunes to back up their bravado...
6. Ozzy Osbourne: Ozzmosis (1995)
Actually, on second thoughts, we quite like this punning title.
5. Blink 182: Enema of the State (2001)
Unlike this one, which is a touch too scatological for our tastes.
4. Alanis Morissette: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie (1998)
If you think the title's a bit wordy, just wait 'til you hear her lyrics.
3. Limp Bizkit: Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water (2000)
Crass, puerile and thoroughly unamusing: like band, like album title, eh?
2. Beyoncé: B-Day (2006)
The French are particularly tickled by her inadvertent double entendre, we presume.
1. Fiona Apple: When The Pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king, what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight, and he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring, there's no body to batter when your mind is your might, so when you go solo, you hold your own hand, and remember that depth is the greatest of heights, and if you know where you stand, then you know where to land, and if you fall it won't matter, cuz you know that you're right (1999)
Unsurprisingly, the record company tended to shorten it to "When The Pawn...".
Have we forgotten any truly terrible album titles? Do you disagree with any of our selections? Just hit the usual button to have your say!
10. Sugababes: Taller In More Ways (2005)
However much you think about it, this title never quite makes sense.
9. Steps: Steptacular (1999)
Obvious, clunky and, worst of all, it probably kept Pete Waterman chuckling for days.
Translation: a shoddy new studio set coupled with an essential greatest hits collection in one prohibitively expensive package.
7. Sum 41: All Killer No Filler (2001)
If only the Canadian pop punkers had the tunes to back up their bravado...
6. Ozzy Osbourne: Ozzmosis (1995)
Actually, on second thoughts, we quite like this punning title.
5. Blink 182: Enema of the State (2001)
Unlike this one, which is a touch too scatological for our tastes.
4. Alanis Morissette: Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie (1998)
If you think the title's a bit wordy, just wait 'til you hear her lyrics.
Crass, puerile and thoroughly unamusing: like band, like album title, eh?
2. Beyoncé: B-Day (2006)
The French are particularly tickled by her inadvertent double entendre, we presume.
1. Fiona Apple: When The Pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king, what he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight, and he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring, there's no body to batter when your mind is your might, so when you go solo, you hold your own hand, and remember that depth is the greatest of heights, and if you know where you stand, then you know where to land, and if you fall it won't matter, cuz you know that you're right (1999)
Unsurprisingly, the record company tended to shorten it to "When The Pawn...".
Have we forgotten any truly terrible album titles? Do you disagree with any of our selections? Just hit the usual button to have your say!
Your Views
15 Comments
Your Responses
C., South End, on April 6th, 2008
Yeah, Fiona's title is pretentious, stupid and dull. Like band, like album title. Much as I love that album, "Second Coming" is a horrible title. I think that's why everybody s**t on it when it came out... or something. I'm not big on "Democrazy". "Never Say Die!" is ironic in light of what happened to Black Sabbath. "The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society" is dumb and insanely overrated, what a crappy album... All Oasis albums since "What's the Story?" have tended towards unintentional hilarity. "E=MC2" is starting to get really hyped, so might as well point out that it's pathetic. Bow Wow Wow (much as I like them) are also guilty of the old impossibly long album title. Anyone remembers "See Jungle!..."? Thought not. "Big Blue Ball". Yet again, unintentionally hilarious. Peter Gabriel probably got bored with the insanely short titles. Smiths albums don't do a lot for me, but they're not truly terrible - just weak. Just like "Ummagumma". That's all I can think of now...
Yeah, Fiona's title is pretentious, stupid and dull. Like band, like album title. Much as I love that album, "Second Coming" is a horrible title. I think that's why everybody s**t on it when it came out... or something. I'm not big on "Democrazy". "Never Say Die!" is ironic in light of what happened to Black Sabbath. "The Kinks are the Village Green Preservation Society" is dumb and insanely overrated, what a crappy album... All Oasis albums since "What's the Story?" have tended towards unintentional hilarity. "E=MC2" is starting to get really hyped, so might as well point out that it's pathetic. Bow Wow Wow (much as I like them) are also guilty of the old impossibly long album title. Anyone remembers "See Jungle!..."? Thought not. "Big Blue Ball". Yet again, unintentionally hilarious. Peter Gabriel probably got bored with the insanely short titles. Smiths albums don't do a lot for me, but they're not truly terrible - just weak. Just like "Ummagumma". That's all I can think of now...
Brian, USA, on April 2nd, 2008
Peter Himmelman - "Synesthesia"
Peter Himmelman - "Synesthesia"
Will, Columbus OH, on April 2nd, 2008
I like the Fiona Apple title. It's a total rule-breaker, but it's not arbitrary. It's well-chosen for the album itself, and yet it's trippy and provocative in its own right. If Herman Melville had been a pop musician, then I think he could easily have gone in a similar direction with the album-title form. (But I admit that his title would have been better better-metered.) And It makes perfect sense that she would be attacked by self-styled taste-makers. They're innately conservative, and they don't know what else to do when a rebellious artist strays too far from formal conventions.
I like the Fiona Apple title. It's a total rule-breaker, but it's not arbitrary. It's well-chosen for the album itself, and yet it's trippy and provocative in its own right. If Herman Melville had been a pop musician, then I think he could easily have gone in a similar direction with the album-title form. (But I admit that his title would have been better better-metered.) And It makes perfect sense that she would be attacked by self-styled taste-makers. They're innately conservative, and they don't know what else to do when a rebellious artist strays too far from formal conventions.
Simon, Brighton, on March 26th, 2008
What about the Outhere Brothers album: 1 Polish, 2 Biscuits & a Fish Sandwich??
What about the Outhere Brothers album: 1 Polish, 2 Biscuits & a Fish Sandwich??
Gareth, Birmingham, on March 24th, 2008
"10. Sugababes: Taller In More Ways (2005) However much you think about it, this title never quite makes sense." ...unless you actually LISTEN to 'Ugly' on the album, in which one of the girls sings about being picked on for being short. She realised that she couldn't actually do anything about her height, but by rising above it and not fighting back she grew ''taller than them in more ways". So yes, it makes perfect sense. It's still a bit of a shoddy title though.
"10. Sugababes: Taller In More Ways (2005) However much you think about it, this title never quite makes sense." ...unless you actually LISTEN to 'Ugly' on the album, in which one of the girls sings about being picked on for being short. She realised that she couldn't actually do anything about her height, but by rising above it and not fighting back she grew ''taller than them in more ways". So yes, it makes perfect sense. It's still a bit of a shoddy title though.
Nick, Brighton, on March 23rd, 2008
Oasis 'Standing on The Shoulder of Giants' gets my vote. And of course Coldplay's new album which probably inspired this article in the first place!
Oasis 'Standing on The Shoulder of Giants' gets my vote. And of course Coldplay's new album which probably inspired this article in the first place!
Damien Mannix, Warwickshire, on March 22nd, 2008
I Disagree with the number 8 choice HIStory is a great album very far from shoddy great album
I Disagree with the number 8 choice HIStory is a great album very far from shoddy great album
Chris, Portsmouth, on March 22nd, 2008
take that and party - as much as i loove tt, its a pretty terrible name!
take that and party - as much as i loove tt, its a pretty terrible name!
JRC, Cardiff, on March 22nd, 2008
Well, I also love that Fiona Apple album but it is a dreadful title. I was expecting it when I scrolled down to be honest. Just way too pretentious.
Well, I also love that Fiona Apple album but it is a dreadful title. I was expecting it when I scrolled down to be honest. Just way too pretentious.
John King, Southport, on March 22nd, 2008
Forget the worst -- surely "There's A Whole Lalo Schiffrin Goin' On" must be the best album title ever!
Forget the worst -- surely "There's A Whole Lalo Schiffrin Goin' On" must be the best album title ever!
Lilly, Nottingham, on March 22nd, 2008
When the pawn... is an AMAZING album. I understand why it made your list, but I love the title (fiona's poetic attack at her critics), the album and the artist!!!
When the pawn... is an AMAZING album. I understand why it made your list, but I love the title (fiona's poetic attack at her critics), the album and the artist!!!
Stdaf, Washington, on March 22nd, 2008
I disagree with your #1 pick. Not only is the title great, but the cd is one of the best that I have ever heard
I disagree with your #1 pick. Not only is the title great, but the cd is one of the best that I have ever heard
Rach, York, on March 21st, 2008
Pretty. Odd. is a ridiculous title for an album, or for anything. The grammar alone makes me have convulsions.
Pretty. Odd. is a ridiculous title for an album, or for anything. The grammar alone makes me have convulsions.
Tony, Coventry, on March 21st, 2008
I always thought the China Crisis album called "Difficult Shapes & Passive Rhythms (Some People Think It's Fun To Entertain)" was particularly bad, although whether it deserves to make the top 10 is debatable ...
I always thought the China Crisis album called "Difficult Shapes & Passive Rhythms (Some People Think It's Fun To Entertain)" was particularly bad, although whether it deserves to make the top 10 is debatable ...
This has to be the best page about albums ever! I mean nuber one is just the most incredibily rediculous thing I've ever heard, but as for Beyonce's album, I had to think for a minute then it came to me!!! Strangely speaking French myself and it didn't click!!!!