It doesn't feel like a week has passed since One Direction Overload Generation and Blonde Electra said their goodbyes, but it's time for two more solid hours of Saturday night-in entertainment with The X Factor.
The remaining 14 acts will sing their hearts out to earn the praise of the judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Fernandez-Versini, Mel B and Louis Walsh, as well as the millions watching at home, complete with five free votes each should they wish.
22:01Kermit doesn't like it, but Simon says she's absolutely wrong. Have to admit, of all tonight's performances - that was one that I actually enjoyed a bit, they're making the 1980s seem rather dull tonight.
21:59Unnecessary skateboarders in the background. Pleasant enough, and Mel surprisingly LOVES it.
21:57They're losing points because they're dissing 'Come On Eileen' left, right and centre. Kevin Rowland must be bloody furious.
21:56Forgot they existed - but here's Only the Young next...
21:16Now this is the baffling bit of the night. Lola Saunders is singing John Lennon's 'Imagine' - yeah, that amazing classic 1980s song that came out in 1971. Unless they mean the 1980 re-release when he died? Either way, a bit weird.
21:09Cheryl is now nicknamed Squiddly Diddly - does Simon mean the squid or his dogs?
21:08Mel's got a good point when she says they need to harmonize on an acapella track, so we can actually hear which one's doing what. Cheryl says she doesn't feel the usual boyband hysteria for them. Simon believes in them, for some strange reason.
21:06Do they honestly need eight of them? Anyway, their performance is alright, saved considerably by the awesome proper classic 1980s song.
21:04The haircut collective's attempt at Elton John didn't work, so now they're going to try Don Henley's 'Boys of Summer'. They hadn't heard of the song, not even the DJ Sammy version - christ, how young are they??
21:02It's Stereo Kicks next. I'm pretty sure you could replace five of them with other boys and no-one would notice.
21:02Mel gets all shirty about "cheating" backing vocals, much to the annoyance of Simon. She seems even more genuinely scary than ever tonight. What is she going to be like in the finale? Calm down.
20:58Fleur is performing a quite impressive rap though, which is extremely rare for X Factor.
20:57Honestly - why bother doing a theme if you're just not going to stick to it. Just call it 'songs week'.
20:57All About that Non-Bass, it's Fleur East, with 'It's a Shame (My Sister)' by Monie Love - which CAME OUT IN 1990!
20:14Already we have our first AD BREAK. The first of about 27 tonight.
20:12Louis says Jack's done a ruddy good job, while Simon says he's one of his favourites, though the vocal wasn't 100% there. Mel does her thing of giving praise but still managing to make it sound like a telling off.
20:10Jack is tackling 'Straight Up' by Simon's old pal Paula Abdul. A bit more upbeat for him, and it's not a bad job. What do you reckon?
20:08Jack gets some advice from Louis Tomlinson, the pop genius himself. Plus, Jack loses points by saying he doesn't know much about 1980s 'cos he wasn't born. I wasn't born in the 60s mate, but I know enough.
20:07First up... Jack Walton - he's the one with the guitar and that.
20:07Right, he did do a bit of a fall over. But we don't even care a little bit because that was brilliant and definitely the best dance of the night. Uh-ma-zing!
20:05"Some of the EastEnders cast." Errr, really? We must've missed 'em.
20:04Wahey, Jake Wood! We won't faff about here. He's definitely our favourite. Partly because he's brilliant at dancing, but mainly because he always seems grumpy while saying he's having the time of his life.
20:00Iveta is channelling early Mad Men and Thom looks daft - although he wouldn't look out of place in a Hoxton coffee bar. The dancing is competent and all, but definitely didn't knock our socks off - as Len would say.
19:58The concentration on Thom's face when he was delivering those lines was priceless.
19:57Um, what has happened to Thom Evans? Did he get accidentally locked in the tanning booth after everyone went home?
19:56Sunetra's easily pleased. The highlight of her week is that she's been lifted up.
19:55We don't think we want to see Brendan's bongos or glitterballs, thank you very much.
19:55Brendan, meanwhile, has split his trousers - and Kevin did the same last week! Dare we suggest that wardrobe are making weak crotches (cough) deliberately to boost ratings? Conspiracy!
19:53The lyric 'Upside Down' as Sunetra went....upside down. The choreographers have enjoyed a word / move match or two tonight.
19:52Sunetra's up next! We hate to say it, but if you've been busting for a wee, cup of tea or both, you might want to indulge now. Unless you're a huge Casualty or Holby fan (which is she in again?) we're not sure how exciting this is!
19:49Tim can't help but leap up those stairs and put his arm around Natalie and Claudia's waists. It's like he can't get out of Bargain Hunt presenting mode. They're not the Red and Blue teams, Tim!
19:48We definitely didn't miss Tim's pelvis undertuck, Darcy. Barf.
19:12Extra props to the amended lyrics. We definitely don't think Craig can handle this...
19:12We basically think the less said about this VT and the cardboard Jay-Z the better. But at the end of the day, Alison is one of our favourite people - let alone favourite dancers. What a truly lovely lass.
19:11Still to come, says Claudia.... 'Dancing!'. Just making sure everyone knows they're watching Strictly instead of X Factor.
19:09Birdy flap? Trucking steps? Are we sure Craig doesn't just make this stuff up as he goes?
19:08Len's walnuts have been pickled so many times over the years they must be going off by now.
18:58This isn't her best or worst dance in our very unimportant opinion. But we reckon it's the Anton Fan Club who've kept this pair in the competition thus far...
18:56Whoops - think there's been a bit too much waxing of the floor going on. Instead of a graceful bum slide, Judy ended up looking like she fell over on an ice rink.
18:56We've been waiting four weeks to see Andy Murray in the audience, and the best we get is a Skype call. But heck, we'll take it. And like any son, he's revolted at the thought of his mum being all sexy over primetime BBC One telly.
18:55Judy and Anton are facing up to the tango next. Here's hoping she's lost her case of rigamortis.
18:53Len uses the word "mincified" to unanimous bafflement. And then harps on about being a pensioner.
18:51Yeah, we were also appalled by Mark's flat hands. Obviously.
18:49We know Mark's from Essex, but that amount of white attire is ridiculous. Saying that, his dancing is coming on leaps and bounds every week. Could he be a finalist? We wouldn't want to bet against it.
18:48Tick "I want to make my nan proud" off your reality TV bingo sheet, everyone...
18:47Mark is doing a Christopher Maloney here and wheeling out his nanna. And her sausage plait.
18:46Mark Wright has most certainly gone up in our estimations after that Superman routine last week. His flying almost topped Widdy's.
18:45Claudia's just saying what we're all thinking. Nope, Donny's 10 didn't really count last week. And it definitely doesn't count now.
18:45Claudia loves threatening to eat people. Or their eye make-up.
18:44We hope Kevin got some blotting paper for his forehead for his birthday.
The Big Brother house has been Hoovered, the Diary Room has had a lick of paint and Emma Willis has bought a new frock.
Tonight, a whole new bunch of desperate fame-hungry celebrities will be waving their way down the aisle and over to the slidey doors of doom as they enter this series of Celebrity Big Brother.
Paul Daniels? Maybe. White Dee? Possibly. Someone we've literally never heard of from a soap? Definitely.
Tune into Channel 5 from 9pm with Digital Spy, as we watch the CBB circus roll into town...
23:13Thanks for joining Digital Spy, and remember - don't have nightmares. G'night!
23:13So, did you recognise all of the housemates? Most of them? Three of them? None of them? We have to admit, it doesn't look great. But the main thing is, there's potential. And who knows what the next four weeks will hold...
22:50At this point, we do have to give a massive shout out to Rock of Love, Bret Michaels and his ludicrous wigs and bandana combos. 'Frenchy' was a contestant, and that show was bloody wicked. As was Flavour of Love.
22:49"Obviously, I love cock". Oh dear Lord. And she looks exactly like Donatella Versace.
22:48No, we've never heard of her either. It's Angelique 'Frenchy' Morgan. Umm..
22:41But this man has won an Emmy for flip's sake. AN EMMY.
22:41Leslie's done communal living and describes himself as "damaged goods". He's also unaware that he's currently outdoors, and is scared of farting in the house.
22:40Now that YouTube is "a thing", we have less and less sympathy for Americans who go into CBB and have never seen it before.
22:19It's Ricci Guarnaccio! And the sixth word out of the former Geordie Shore star's mouth was "mortal".
22:18Celebrities are just like us really. Put in a room of strangers, and stilted, awkward chit chat will follow.
22:17Strangest celebrity fact so far: Edele buys Lauren Goodger's range of eyelashes.
22:17Did Edele, B*Witched sister Keavy and brother Boyzone's Shane (who's in the crowd!) ever form a supergroup? If not, we're calling Louis Walsh with that plan first thing in the morning. He's going to be all bloody over that.
22:16Edele gives us an update on her menstrual cycle before heading up the stairs. Well, going into CBB is one terrible decision she can't blame on the weatherman. But hey, c'est la vie. (We're VERY sorry)
22:14It's SO sad to hear that The Big Reunion trashed B*Witched. That show might have given us so much, but it's taken away a bit of our soul.
22:13So, um, the B*Witched reunion went well then. Here's Edele Lynch!
22:03When it comes to this next housemate, this really is television eating itself. What the heck is going on here?
22:02Speaking of that sex tape, we can't help think Goodger had something to do with it. "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about" to quote Oscar Wilde. Not sure those two will ever be mentioned in the same breath again.
22:01Doing anything in a pub car park is pretty naff, but getting engaged to Mark Wright in one is not cool.
22:00Loz is "s**tting herself", while we give her 48-hours before she's blubbing in the Diary Room.
21:59Pouty of face, big of boob, she of six-second sex tape. "It's going to be absolute banter". Sometimes, we hate what society has become...
21:57The Only Way is Elstree. It's Lauren Goodger.
21:45Poor Kellie seems genuinely terrified and nervous. And asks James Jordan if he's "that dance coach". Ouch.
21:44Kellie gets the best reaction out of the lot so far this evening! Although we can't help but think Emma is being a bit of a cow by saying it will all be "fun and games". Not like every other series of CBB then, which have all been "stressful and traumatic"?
21:42Up next is Kellie Maloney - formerly known as boxing promoter Frank!
21:37OK, so Dee - or Deirdre, the Duchess of Solihull, 21st in line to the throne - is off for a "regal revamp" as she has to convince the next three housemates - who are all American - that she's genuine royalty for 24 hours. This is gonna be ace.
21:35Well this is a terrifying vision of the future. White Dee becomes a member of the Royal family, living in Buckingham Palace with Fungi.
21:32Only four housemates in, and Dee is called to the Diary Room. And it's had a makeover. Three words: gold, gold and gold.
21:29OK, we had never heard David speak before. And after 2 and a half minutes, we want to push him down the CBB stairs. Kelly, seriously, WHAT are you thinking?
21:28Even a character from Hollyoaks would look at David's backstory and deem it implausible. But, and this is all true, he used to be a Royal Marines Commando serving in Iraq, Afghanistan and Somalia, he was 'Tornado' on Sky1's Gladiators, he's engaged to a gorgeous model and earlier this year, he crashed said van carrying said load of dead badgers after falling asleep at the wheel.
21:26And on we go! Eek. Kelly Brook, turn off your television NOW. And keep it off for the next few months.
21:25The former Emmerdale actress also has two TV Quick Awards under her belt. Alan Partridge, eat your heart out.
21:24Claire can't stop saying the words 'bitch' and 'super bitch'. Anyway, she also says that she'd be frustrated by housemates who 'claim off the system' and is a grumpy old woman. Place your bets, people...
21:21Here's the obligatory soap 'star' - Claire King!
21:18We have also just noticed that CBB has made the very brilliant decision to ditch the name tags, so no-one has a clue who anyone is. Amazing. Bring on the awks.
21:16"How was your stay?" - what the heck? What's so funny? Eh? EH?
21:15Hmm, we're beginning to think that maybe his former Strictly partner Vanessa Feltz persuaded him to do it and told him that doing CBB was amazing. Just to get her sweet revenge.
21:14Has James come in fancy dress as Jason Gardiner or summat?
21:13If he can't handle the odd crap comment from Craig Revel Horwood, how the hell will he cope with CBB?
21:12James does promise a glimpse of buttock if he gets drunk. Right Dee, crack out the Lambrinis. Pronto.
21:12It's Strictly Come Dancing's James Jordan, who obviously couldn't bear the thought of an autumn without starring on a reality TV show. So after getting the boot from BBC One, he's come to the dark side.
21:07White Dee! Fresh from Magaluf and pissing off David Cameron (yes, really) she's spoiling for a fight two minutes into CBB. She's said the F-word about 57 times, says she's going to miss the fags and tea and comes out to a wall of booing.
21:06Woah, no messing. It's straight up with the first housemate. And it's...
21:05It's the very awesome Emma Willis! We haven't seen her for a whole weekend, we were beginning to get withdrawal symptoms. Although she does seem to have forgotten what programme she's presenting. "Celebrity Big......Brother!"
21:04Gooood evening CBB fans. Before we get on with the main event tonight, we just have to say... How flipping awesome does Gotham look?! Ryan - sorry, Ben McKenzie - we've missed you on our tellybox.
Mel B was confirmed as the fourth X Factor judge this morning - but it's not going to be her first go at starring on a Simon Cowell show. Not only did she pop up as a guest on The X Factor UK back in 2012, but she was a fixture of the Australian version show, too - and she's on America's Got Talent.
With that in mind, we figured that we could probably work out what kind of judge she's going to be by poring over old footage (or, er, spending all morning on YouTube.) Read on for 10 things we can expect when Mel B joins The X Factor...
1. Performances of classic Spice Girls songs. Right, so we're sold already. Admittedly, this was when Mel was just a guest mentor on the Australian X Factor, but it's bloody amazing. She joins the top five for a virtuoso performance of 'Stop' - which, by the way, we're still furious peaked at number two (it has number one written all over it and its amazing dance routine.) If this gets repeated during a live show - get Dermie involved! - we'll be very pleased indeed.
21:04So that's it! Jermain is crying his way through 'And I Am Telling You'. We've got over the shock - isn't Jermain a sweetie? But look, we have an Eoghan Quigg-style stage invasion with all the contestants running on stage! There's confetti. The credits cut in over the top. WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BBC ONE?
21:02Jermain thanks Will, his family and friends and says this is an achievement "for every single person around the world - especially in the UK" who has had a dream and worked for it. He tells everyone to fight for their dreams. So that's nice.
21:01Will gets the party started by saying that Jermain "has a lot of work to do". Way to go, Will. But he says the victory is more than him singing - it's "direction and guidance" for the rest of his life. Deep.
21:00What do you think? Are you happy? Are you shocked? Are you outraged? Are you baffled? Let us know...
20:59There is shock in our living room. Not the Digital Spy favourite. Not the bookies' favourite (they will be fuming). The Voice has an unpredictable winner yet again!
20:59So. The winner. Of The Voice. 2014. IS... JERMAIN JACKMAN!
20:58OH MY GOD. The finalists are on the stage. IT'S TIME.
20:42Right, that's it - everyone's performed for the final time. So who's going to win? Who are you voting for? Let us know!
20:42Will says he's emotional because Jermain is getting in to music to do good: "I wanna be down with you for the rest of your career." Apparently even Will's grandma in heaven will be rooting for Jermain.
20:40Will is only crying! Goodness me. Is there something in the water? The crowd is going wild, too. Could Jermain be a surprise winner?
20:39Jermain hasn't had the strongest night, to be honest, but this is pretty great. And he holds the huge note like nobody's business. He's doing really well, here. What do you think?
20:37Finally - yes, the final competitive song of the competition, waaaah - it's Jermain with his repeat of 'And I Am Telling You'... Will says he wants Jermain in his life but that might just be because he likes saying "Jermain".
20:36Well, the judges loved Sally, but what did you think? One thing is for sure, Damahepa down in the comments is very unhappy that Jamie has gone home. What about you guys?
20:34You might not think Olly Murs and Sally Barker would be natural bedfellows but somehow this song just plays to her strengths, doesn't it?
20:21Waaaaah, someone is about to be eliminated! Who do you think it will be? Get your final predictions in...
20:19So much love for Bob Blakeley in this recap. Good on The Voice for reminding us of all the people that probably should have gone through...
20:17We're getting an extended recap of the series, but it did have a fishmonger describing Will as "bananas", while holding a massive fish. So that was nice. At least this is quite a light-hearted look at the past few weeks. It's much better than your standard 'reality show final recap'.
20:15Right everyone, this is serious - the vote is now frozen. Who do you think is about to have their dreams dashed?
20:09Everyone just had a bit of an impromptu singalong. We're concerned. Christina Marie says her favourite boyband is the Kaiser Chiefs. Way to dodge the question and simultaneously accidentally insult Ricky in one fell swoop.
20:08The coaches are in the V Room now (hehe). There are important viewer questions, like who smells better - Sir Tom or Marvin. Kylie says Marvin, Sir Tom gets all aggressive, and it's amazing. (We think Marvin made that question up so Kylie would sniff him.)
20:05Right, all of the finalists have performed twice now - so who are you backing?
20:02They're doing 'There Must Be An Angel (Playing With My Heart)'. It's fine but they're not clicking their fingers and disappearing, are they? Still, Jamie is undeniably good, Kylie is obviously fab, and there's a classic choir, so...
20:00Time for the last finalist duet! We've had Kylie and Jason, and Kylie and Robbie, Emma says. Now it's time for Kylie and Jamie! Proof that Kylie is an amazing coach - she took him to meet Justin Timberlake. JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. He's slow motion laughing because Justin obviously laughs in slow motion. "The stage is yours, my friend," he says. If we were Jamie, we'd be pinching ourselves.
19:58Will is up on stage, because of course he is. He says the only thing to keep people out of difficult situations is "imagination" - and promises Jermain would use his success for amazing things. Aww.
19:57They disappeared again! I don't understand. Will suddenly appears in his chair. That was ridiculous but kind of amazing, not going to lie. Emma promises it was all live too. (On the other hand, the singing was really only okay.)
19:56WAIT. Will just clicked his fingers and disappeared. WHAT. And then everyone appeared on stage dancing, 'Harlem Shake'-style. We have no idea how they're doing this but it's kind of incredible. (The singing is fine, too, I guess.)
19:55Get ready, everyone, this is going to be mental. Will's got his iPad (sorry, 'generic tablet') out and is flicking through pictures of Jermain - but it goes all crazy as the video of Jermain singing live is on Will's iPad ('generic tablet') and we've got all confused.
19:53Before all the performance stuff, mind, Will takes Jermain to the fancy Corinthia Hotel and then to go to Buckingham Palace. No big deal, right?
19:53Next up - will.i.am and Jermain, and they're going to be singing 'Pure Imagination'. Well, this is going to be wacky, then, isn't it? Can it beat Russell Brand's version at the Olympics?
19:52Emma just did a Tom Jones impression which was basically terrible. But Tom says this won't be the last time he sings with Sally - he'll do a duet for her album. I guess that's if she wins...
19:51Fact: 'Walking in Memphis' singer Marc Cohn was shot in the head but survived and was released from hospital the next day. Just thought we'd throw that in there.
19:48Both Sally and Tom have got the stools out, but Sally looks like she had to rush on stage and hasn't quite got sat down properly and has to cling on so she doesn't fall off. This is a very nice performance, though.
19:47Time for Sir Tom and Sally Barker! They're going to do 'Walking in Memphis', but in preparation he takes her to the ace Union Chapel where he performed before for a bit of inspiration. And he promises to be in the front seat when she's filling out venues like it. Aww. Besties.
19:45"Ricky is sweating more than Christina," Emma says. Lovely. It's all got a bit beauty pageant though as Ricky just told Christina: "You're my finalist, you're the world's finalist." What?!
19:43We're torn on what this sounds like in the Digital Spy living room. Is it Mel C & Bryan Adams, or The Beautiful South? It's not very interesting, sadly, but at least Christina Marie is reliably good.
19:42When we went to see Ricky recently and asked him how the other Kaiser Chiefs felt about him going on The Voice, he looked us dead in the eyes and deadpanned: "They f**king love it." They seem to be enjoying it now, at least...
19:41So, they're doing the Kaiser Chiefs' new single 'Coming Home' - because Kylie doing 'Into The Blue' the other week didn't cause any kind of problems at all, no siree.
19:41Yay! It's time for the coach duets - first up, it's Ricky and Christina Marie. Before all that, we get to see her and Ricky on Radio 1 with Grimmy, getting papped ("It was really strange") and then going on Radio 2 with Chris Evans where the Kaiser Chiefs did an acoustic set. She's very good at doing a polite head bob.
19:39Emma says that before people vote, they should think about whose album they'd buy and whose tickets they'd purchase. Hmm. Anyway the vote is now open. Who are you picking up the phone for?
19:37Jermain has changed into a fantastic hat - and promises things are going to get "weird and wonderful". Wait, they're not weird already?
19:36All of the live finalists are in the V Room, so at least there's no bitterness. On the other hand, there is awkwardness. Marvin is making Jamie do the worm live on television. Is this some kind of initiation?
19:35"Go to the V Room" will never not sound filthy to us. Sorry.
19:34Tom nearly did a swear! Emma moved on very quickly... probably just as well. Ricky says Jamie is a good singer as well as a "really nice guy". Aww, isn't it all lovely?
19:32Mind you, Jamie has shooting smoke, and it has at least kicked in a bit. All of the finalists have sung now, so what are you thinking? Who is your favourite? Who didn't quite do the job? Have you changed your mind?
19:31Jamie's doing a bit of 'Missing You'. It's all very good and everything but this has been an undeniably ballad-heavy first round, hasn't it?
19:27We don't quite now what's going on but Ricky just got up to give Will a hug. Then Tom. Now everyone is hugging. Maybe he did take those seasickness pills after all.
19:25Kylie loves Jermain's "knee trembling". Oo-er, missus. Enter Sir Tom: "I thought that meant something else."
19:25Will is on his watch phone which could have been amazing if it wasn't breaking up and no-one could hear her. It was Cheryl Cole, though. She thought it was good. Will had to tell us that. But, you know, points for trying I guess.
19:23Well, Jermain's low register is getting more and more insane each week, isn't it? Oh, and there goes the key change and the high note. Will's dancing on his seat... but Jermain's last big note is a little off. Not the best we've seen tonight.
19:22I know it's very cool that Jermain is suspended mid-air for this, but the heavy duty health-and-safety arm grip kind of spoils the effect a bit. Good song, mind, and Jermain is doing well enough with it. It's not spectacular, but he's still obviously got talent.
19:21Oh my God, if Jermain wins he'll get a "reception in the town hall" from the mayor? As if the record deal wasn't enough!
19:20Time for a bit of Jermain Jackman! And guess what, he's going to do a bit of 'Wrecking Ball', though he's not happy about the video. To be honest, if Jermain stripped off and started licking a hammer it would definitely spice things up. Possibly not 'prime minister' material, mind.
19:19Will just said that Sally's performance was a bit 'Disney'. How good are we? Get us in one of those spinny chairs pronto.
19:17Tom declares that he always knew Sally would be in the final (sorry, the rest of his team.) Oh, Tom just said: "She touched me, and she still touches me." BEHAVE EVERYONE. Yes, that includes you, you naughty whooping audience.
19:16Is Sally feeling calm inside tonight? "Not at all, no. I'm feeling nervous inside." Thanks for the insight, Sally!
19:15Is it just us, though, or has this all gone a bit 'Disney'?
19:14Oh no, Sally's singing Joni Mitchell's 'From Both Sides Now' also known as the song that Emma Thompson cries to in Love Actually. Excuse us while we grab a tissue...
19:13Time for the "Queen of Leicester" - Sally Barker (that's after a completely gratuitous "yeah" from Tom, of course.) She's off home to see her friends and family, too. Is anyone else thinking how few people would be at their own homecoming? Just us? Anyway, it's all pretty much the same as Christina Marie's visit - not-at-all rehearsed speeches, banners, and hugs.
19:10Kylie gushes over Christina Marie (she's a "pleasure" apparently); Will enjoys her "perfection" and says she never hit a low point - he even toasts her. Tom giggles and announces: "That is perfection, right there." Ricky looks like he might burst into tears. Oh, he's gone. Oh dear. "She needs you to vote for her," he says, pointing down the camera. The new Lord Kitchener.
19:08It's a standing ovation from the coaches but the dissenter on our sofa thinks that was a boring song choice. What do you lot reckon?
19:07So Christina Marie is belting out a bit of 'Fix You'. Her voice is basically flawless, and the song does sound different from Coldplay's version. It's getting the full "choir and key change" treatment, because this is the final.
19:02Tom's air punches just made us scream. We're all fired up now, and here are Emma and Marvin to really get the party started. What did you think of the coaches' performance? (That's if you can distract yourselves from how amazing Emma looks and how short Marvin's white waistcoat is making his black tie look.)
19:01That slow-motion wink from Ricky - we could have done without that, to be honest.
19:00We have never seen a man pout as much as Ricky just then. On the other hand, Tom Jones has NEVER LOOKED SMOOTHER. Kylie's on her lips in the sky, it's all 'Rocks' by Primal Scream and slow-mo and we're getting a bit over-excited.
18:48But, like, what's actually going to happen tonight? Well, the contestants will be performing three times - a new song, their song of the series, and a fresh duet with their coach (as Will would say.) Oh, and we have Aloe Blacc and Paloma Faith providing the "musical interludes".
18:45Oh, look, lots of former contestants have popped up in Elstree to support the finalists. (Or make the most of the free bar. Whatever.)
"Well, apart from glamour - they're both very beautiful woman, very nice to look at - they're also very talented artists in their own right, and I would be very happy to see either of them on the panel. They make really good music and I'm sure would have a lot to say.
"I can imagine on the first day of auditions Simon will be there, no doubt trying to soak up the atmosphere and attract as little attention as possible in his arrival in his Rolls-Royce, and everyone will be looking at Cheryl and Rita or Ellie. Yes, we're all looking forward to a fantastic 11th season of The X Factor."
They definitely don't hang about on The Voice UK. Last week we had 12 singers, now we have eight and next week there will be just four left.
In this live cull semi-final, remaining acts Jermain, Sophie May, Jamie, Lee, Sally, Bizzi, Chris and Christina Marie will be singing two songs - one by themselves, another with their coach. We. Can't. Wait.
Still not convinced? Well, Enrique Iglesias and Shakira will be taking to the stage, too. So join Digital Spy as we watch it all unfold!
21:11Don't forget to come back and join Digital Spy next week to see who will follow um, was her name Leanne... and thingy... to be crowned The Voice champion! Goodnight, all!
21:10Sally, Jermain, Christina Marie and Jamie get a final 'woo', and we're over and out.
21:09It's been about 15 minutes since we saw a plug for the next series, so here's yet another that's squeezed in just before we say turrah.
21:07Jermain goes though! So that's how The Voice UK's 2014 final looks like, everyone. And we have to say we feel quite smug for guessing all four finalists correctly. Although very annoyed we didn't put any money on that at a betting shop.
21:06For the final time this evening... it's either Sophie May or Jermain. And we think Jermain will have this...
21:03And we were right. Jamie goes through to join Sally and Christina Marie in the final.
21:02Team Kylie is up for the cull next, and Lee and Jamie are both great. We reckon it'll be Jamie through...
21:01That performance was worth it alone to see Tom Jones doing a slow Churchill dog head nod.
21:00Blimey, gun alert. His arms are a bit much pre-watershed.
20:58So Enrique is just Enrique now, is he Emma? Anyway, Enrique and his trusty hat - which we're pretty sure he nicked off Chris Martin at some point - are thrusting about and doing a Lee-style microphone death grip.
20:56We thought Christina was going to do a will-style 's*it' there.
20:27Kylie, Lee and Jamie are singing her song 'Into the Blue'. She's the only coach to be jumping on the shameless self-promotion bandwagon by performing her own track. But we don't care, because this song's brilliant.
20:25Emma did a bit of an Inbetweeners Movie dance there. We're not sure Strictly will be calling up for her any time soon.
20:23This lot are now 'Dancing in the Street', and they make a mighty fine trio if you don't mind us saying. They should sing together full time!
19:27Chris reckons Ricky has become a life coach, so it's good to know that when work dries up with the Chiefs he's got something to fall back on.
19:27We do love Chris, but up against Christina Marie, we don't have much hope for him. Mind you, we were convinced Georgia was going to stay over Bizzi last week so we're more than happy to be proved wrong!
19:25Ricky does love a point and a direct audience address, doesn't he?
19:25Tom's going to talk to his grandson afterwards and see what Christina did to him. Um, yes.
19:22Anyway, getting over our initial massive disappointment about that, Christina is nailing it! However, we think she looks more awkward on the stage than she has done in previous weeks...
It's getting closer, everyone! Britain's Got Talent is coming back for its eighth series, so it's time to start dusting off your magic wand, shaking out your pom poms and getting the dog treats ready. But we wanted to know a bit more about what we should expect, so we grabbed Britain's Got More Talent host Stephen Mulhern for a bit of a chinwag. Read on for news of twerking, virtual babies and tin foil...
1. There is a big range of acts this year. "I'm really enjoying it. I can't believe that it has been eight years now, but the great thing is there are a lot more variety acts this year rather than singers, which is amazing. And I don't like to get people's hopes up too much, but I think Britain's Got More Talent has even more exceptional talent than ever before. Of course, I say that with a great big grin on my face!"
2. Miley Cyrus has a lot to answer for. "We have a girl who I said to her, 'What is it that you do?' and she said, 'I twerk' and I said, 'Oh OK, we have seen a lot of that this year with Miley Cyrus, what's different with your twerking?' And she said, 'Well I twerk upside down'. So if you can imagine the picture of this girl, me holding her legs, and she is upside down and twerking... it's like, 'Oh my god'."
3. Some 'talent' is just plain old weird. "We have a guy that has auditioned a couple of times and he decided to put tin foil all over his face so that the judges wouldn't realise it was him who was auditioning because he thought he might get further in the competition if they didn't recognise him. I don't know how he got on. I don't know what he did when he went on stage because we only go in for the first half but you know when you just see that moment and you go, 'Wow!' At what point have you thought, 'I need to disguise myself with tin foil'? it sums up Britain's Got More Talent!"
4. The golden buzzer is a game changer... "I think it was a genius idea, I really do. I think the idea of giving somebody the golden ticket, Willy Wonka style, just adds another element to the show that I think is genius. I think it is so clever and also I think it gives the judges another sort of investment in an act to will them on to do well. I think you will see a lot of arguments between the judges if somebody doesn't support their act!"
5. ...But not all of the judges use their golden buzzer wisely. "Sometimes during the auditions we were willing the judges to press the buzzer and it is incredible that the audience were really going for it, so when they did do it it's like, 'Yeah, that's amazing!' And it's a real special moment... apart from the guy who got David's buzz. I don't know what David was thinking! I don't know whether he did it to annoy the other judges but the reality is that he is through so it is very bizarre."
6. Simon Cowell does not always take too fondly to Stephen's pranks. "I did this little tester thing where we had this virtual baby and we had these little chips that you put in the baby and it would be like 'crying', 'feeding time', 'burping time' - this, that and the other. We put the crying card into the baby and it didn't go down too well, I have to be honest. It was a very, very awkward moment. It was the second day in Cardiff, and the photographer was there and I have this picture now that was sent to me. In it I am sat on David's lap, who is feeding me a bottle of water, while Simon has the virtual baby and David is burping me to show Simon how to do it. It was the most surreal moment that I have ever been part of. It was bizarre and the more I think about it the weirder it is. You will see it on the show as well. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, it was very awkward. It will look as awkward as it was on the day - it was horrendous."
Britain's Got Talent and Britain's Got More Talent will return to ITV shortly, while Stephen Mulhern also hosts Catchphrase and Big Star's Little Star on ITV.
If, like us, you're not quite ready to say goodbye to the skaters, sequins and snarky Jason Gardiner, there is one last chance to experience the pageantry of Dancing on Ice as favourite cast members from this year's all-stars series take to the ice for the show's national tour.